Living with Heart: From Birth to Death 108 - Resistance to Change
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Recover is not a pill > Recovery is a path.
Recovery is not a quick fix > Recovery is a lifestyle, lived one day at a time.
Recovery allows us to live with a “new set of glasses.”
People in recovery no longer see life through the “tinted glasses” that denial gives them, but they begin to live in clear reality.
A person no longer sees life through the “foggy” glasses of denial, but a person begins to live in reality.
While recovery has thousands upon thousands of personal benefits, the personal benefits do not mean that you’re the loved ones will change along with you, join you, or even be willing to participate with you. This reality is called resistance to change.
Resistant to change can be in the “main person” who has a clear and primary addiction, or it can be in the “co-addict,” or the one who has enabled, adjusted to, joined in, or “put up with” the primary addiction.
The condition of a “co-addict” is addressed in the Codependency Episodes, 32-44.
The question becomes, “How do I do relationship with someone who doesn’t want to join me in this new way of living?”
Recovery From addiction processes and recovery OF who I am created to be is a genuine form of authentic life, without running from one’s own heart.
Resistance to change, then, is a heart problem.
Addiction in and of itself is rooted in denial, which requires that the status quo becomes the primary focus in relational life, not the capacity to adjust to change.
Acceptance of and willingness to change requires the ability to “deny” denial.
- Addiction is founded in denial.
- Change is founded on “denying” denial.