John Robins feels enormous. His Christmas Day, Ryder Cup and Tax Deadline Day have all come at once. That’s right, a new supermarket has opened near his house, and he’s primed and ready to make content that no one else would dream of making. Strap in for some gonzo journalism; it’s Fear and Loathing in Rural Bucks.
Supermarket excitement aside, we tackle the big questions: Did Elizabeth I wish she’d had meal deals? Did she resent not having a fridge, or Tetris, or yoghurt? What would Henry VIII have made of an air fryer?
Plus, Elis’s Welshness gets him in hypothetical hot water.
Get in touch via the world’s most reliable medium: email. It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
Elis James and John Robins