10% Happier with Dan Harris Harvard Business School Professor on Building Trust, Reducing Regret, and the Underrated Power of Oversharing | Leslie John
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Mar 2, 2026 
Leslie John, Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist, studies disclosure and decision-making. She explores why revealing feelings often builds trust and reduces stress. She explains the health costs of secrets, when to go one layer deeper in conversation, and how strategic vulnerability can open doors in relationships and leadership.
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Validate First Then Advise
- When someone shares, validate before advising to decrease rumination and increase comfort.
- Simple responses like I hear you or That sucks are the most soothing interventions researchers tested, even more than perspective-taking.
Go One Layer Deeper In Small Talk
- When small talk feels hollow, go one layer deeper by sharing the meaning behind the observation and asking a follow-up question.
- Example: instead of noting kids are smiling, say you can't remember the last time you laughed like that and then ask them about it.
Disclosure Flexibility Is The Skill
- Skilled revealers show disclosure flexibility, shifting from highly open with intimates to guarded in competitive contexts.
- That flexibility starts with self-awareness of feelings and goals, not a fixed personality trait.
