6: What does it mean to be Self-Led, with Seth Kopald

“Being Self-led means our parts give just enough room that [there is] enough room for me, enough room for you. So often times when I ask my parts to give me a little space, I say, Can you give me just enough space so I'm here too?” - Seth Kopald

Content Advisory: This episode explores sensitive topics related to sexuality.  Listener discretion is advised.

What does it really mean to be Self-Led? And how can we tell if we are Self-Led, in bed or anywhere? In this episode Patricia is joined by Seth Kopald, Certified IFS Practitioner and author of the book, “Self-Led.” They flesh this concept out together and explore some common burdens that may prevent us from accessing this clear and centered place that we all have within and which can guide us in our sexual lives. Seth shares some key life experiences that have fueled his passion for this work, as well as some tips for parents and  intimate partners who would like to feel more close, calm and courageous.

They explore the difference between "in Self" (a deep meditative state) and "Self-led" (navigating daily interactions guided by Self-energy). In this episode, you'll discover Seth's personal journey with IFS and his focus on helping parents heal relationships, practical ways to access Self-energy in challenging moments such as noticing bodily sensations and shifting attention from the head to the heart, how to recognize when parts are blended and how to create space for Self-energy, the importance of understanding the other person's experience in intimate relationships, how speaking for parts, rather than from them, can prevent conflict escalation and facilitate repair, and the concept of a continuum between being fully in Self and fully blended with a part, rather than a binary. 

Key insights shared include that Self-led living involves creating space for all parts, accessing Self-energy often involves shifting attention from the head to the heart, speaking for parts allows for clearer communication and prevents defensive reactions, repairing relationships involves owning mistakes and creating a safe space for vulnerability, and Self-led relationships are not about perfection, but about navigating challenges with awareness and compassion. 

About Seth:

Seth Kopald is a Certified, level 3, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. He holds a PhD in Organization Management with a Specialization in Leadership and a Masters in Education. Seth is an experienced IFS training Program Assistant for Levels 1, 2, and 3. He has also been on Dick Schwartz’s staff for multiple retreats and Seth facilitates his own retreats and workshops. Seth is the author of the book Self-Led and his specialties include Self-led Parenting, Leadership, Parts Art, Spirituality, and creating spaces where people's parts feel safe and understood.

Connect with Seth:

Website: sethkopald.com

Instagram: @selfled_by_seth

Facebook: @seth.kopald.ifs

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Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich

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