Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast 2: Collective Legacy Burdens and Touch, with Deran Young
“Touch deprivation is a real thing...I think that there's some sensitivity when we're not receiving those hugs and that touch. Your skin is almost craving it."
Content Advisory: This episode explores topics related to sexuality, trauma, racism, and societal oppression.
In today’s conversation, Deran Young, a licensed therapist, co-author of "You Are Your Best Thing," and founder of Black Therapists Rock sheds light on collective legacy burdens and developmental needs, especially those that impact Black women’s sexuality. I especially appreciate Deran’s vulnerability in sharing her own life story and doing a piece of live IFS work with a self-reliant part and a part that craves more touch in her daily life. Learn about how historical trauma, religious beliefs, military life and more can shape experiences with touch, intimacy, and sexual expression, and how to reclaim embodiment, trust, and intimacy with oneself and others..
Key Takeaways:
- - Collective legacy burdens, including systemic racism, sexism, and religious oppression, have a profound impact on experiences with sexuality.
- - Shame, self-doubt, and lack of bodily autonomy impact sexual pleasure and intimacy.
- - Early childhood experiences, particularly those related to touch and attachment, play a crucial role in shaping our relationships with intimacy and sexuality.
- - Reclaiming intimacy and trust requires addressing historical trauma, challenging internalized oppression, and cultivating self-compassion.
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Key Themes & Timestamps:
- [00:01:00-04:00] Early Life Experiences
- [00:04:00-07:00] Accessing and Owning Your Body
- [00:07:00-11:00] Addressing Internalized Oppression
- [011:00-14:00] The Impact of Shame and Subjugation
- [014:00-17:00] The Role of Personal History
- [017:00-20:00] The Importance of Touch and Intimacy
- [020:00-24:00] Exploring Shame and its Impact on Sexuality
- [024:00-29:00] The Role of Touch Deprivation
- [029:00-35:00] Reclaiming Intimacy and Trust
About Deran Young:
Deran Young is a licensed therapist, CDWF, CDTL, Co-Author of New York TImes Best Seller, You Are Your Best Thing, retired military officer, and the founder of Black Therapists Rock.Black Therapists Rock is a non profit organization that mobilizes over 30,000 mental health professionals committed to reducing the psychological impact of systemic oppression and intergenerational trauma.She obtained her social work degree from University of Texas, where she studied abroad in Ghana, West Africa for two semesters creating a high school counseling center for under-resourced students. Deran describes herself as someone who loves to learn from various cultures and has visited over 37 different countries and her clinical experience spans across four different continents. Her passion for culture and people has led her to become a highly sought after diversity and inclusion consultant working with companies like BBERG, Facebook, Linked In, Field Trip Health, and YWCA.Deran’s advocacy expands over several online and offline platforms. With a current social media audience of over 100,000 followers on IG and Facebook, Deran has become a leading influencer and public figure committed to spreading mental health awareness and improving health equity. She resides in the Washington DC area and continues to explore the world with her young son.
Connect with Deran:
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