Lenten Retreat: The Dismantling of the Religious Self, Session Four

Lenten Retreat 2026 Fourth Reflection The Man Who Has Nothing Left But God

On the Life That Appears When the Self That Lived Has Died “I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me.”

Galatians 2:20

There comes a moment that the man cannot perceive directly, because the one who would perceive it is no longer there.

He has passed through the loss of support. He has passed through the disappearance of certainty. He has passed through the collapse of identity. He has passed through the experience of abandonment in which he could no longer locate himself in relation to God or even in relation to himself.

He has stood where nothing remained to sustain the sense that he existed.

He did not cross this threshold through effort. He did not achieve it through discipline. He did not arrive there through understanding.

He arrived there because everything he used to sustain himself had been taken. And he did not die.
This is the first revelation.
He did not die.

The self he knew has disappeared. The structure that allowed him to experience continuity has dissolved. The identity he inhabited cannot be recovered.

And yet he remains.
But he does not remain as he was.

Before this, he experienced himself as existing from himself. Even in humility. Even in repentance. Even in dependence on God, he remained the one who depended. He remained the center from which his life was lived.

Now this center cannot be found.

1

He cannot locate himself as the source of his own existence. He cannot experience himself as self originating.
He exists.
But not from himself.

The Psalmist speaks from within this mystery when he says, “My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 62:8

Before this, the man believed he clung to God. He believed his faith held him in relation to God. He believed his perseverance sustained his life.

Now he sees that even his clinging was sustained.

He sees that he has never lived by his own strength.

He sees that he has never possessed life in himself.

St. Symeon the New Theologian writes that when grace reveals itself fully, the soul sees that it has always existed by borrowed life.

Not poetic life.

Actual life.

The man now experiences himself as upheld.

Not helped.

Upheld.

This produces a peace that cannot be explained to the man who still lives from himself.

Because the man who lives from himself must constantly preserve himself. He must maintain continuity.
He must protect identity.

2

He must secure stability.

He must ensure that he continues.

Fear is inseparable from this condition.

Fear of loss.

Fear of failure.

Fear of death.

Fear of disappearance.

But the man who no longer lives from himself cannot preserve himself.

Because he no longer possesses himself.

Christ says, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

This finding is not recovery.

It is discovery.

The discovery that life was never his.

The discovery that existence belongs to God.

St. Isaac the Syrian writes that the man who has come to know his nothingness has come to know the truth of his existence.

Nothingness does not mean nonexistence.
It means the absence of autonomous existence.
The man exists entirely in God.
St. Paul says, “In Him we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:28 Before this, these words were believed.
Now they are known.

3

Not as thought.

As being.

The man no longer moves toward God.

He moves in Him.

He no longer depends on God as one thing depends on another.

He exists as one upheld from within.

Christ says, “Abide in Me, and I in you.” John 15:4

This abiding is not effort.

It is the end of resistance.

The man no longer attempts to ground himself.

He no longer attempts to preserve himself.

He no longer attempts to exist from himself.

These movements have ended.

Because the one who performed them has died.

St. Silouan the Athonite writes that the soul that has come to know God through the Holy Spirit no longer fears anything.

This fearlessness does not arise from strength. It arises from dispossession.
Nothing remains to be protected.
Nothing remains to be preserved.

Nothing remains to be secured. The man exists.

4

But he does not belong to himself.

St. Sophrony writes that the human person becomes fully real only when he ceases to exist as an autonomous center.

Autonomy is the consequence of separation from God. Communion is the restoration of life.

The man who lives in communion no longer experiences himself as isolated existence.

He experiences himself as relation.
Relation becomes the ground of his being.
This does not remove suffering.
It removes separation.
The man still suffers.
He still experiences uncertainty.
He still experiences weakness.
But these no longer threaten his existence.
Because his existence is no longer located where suffering occurs.
Christ says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” The Kingdom belongs to those who possess nothing.
Because possession creates separation.
The man who possesses nothing exists without separation.
St. John the Baptist expresses this final truth with terrifying clarity.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
This decrease is not moral humility.

5

It is ontological disappearance.

The self that lived apart from God has ended.

What remains is life.

Not his life.

God’s life.

St. Paul writes, “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3

Hidden.
Not visible.
Not possessed.
Hidden.
The man no longer experiences himself as possessing life.
He experiences life as possessing him.
This is resurrection.
Not after death.
Now.
The man who has nothing left but God discovers that he has lost nothing. Because nothing he lost was life.
And what remains cannot be lost.
Because it is God Himself.
And there is no one left to live apart from Him.
⸻

6

This life does not appear as triumph.
It appears as quiet.
It appears as simplicity.
It appears as the absence of self concern.
Because the one who was concerned for himself has died. Christ says, “Do not be anxious about your life.” Matthew 6:25 This command is impossible for the man who lives from himself. Because he must preserve himself.

He must anticipate loss.

He must guard against death.

But the man who no longer lives from himself has nothing to guard.

Nothing to preserve.

Nothing to secure.

His life is no longer his responsibility.

It is God’s.

St. Peter speaks this truth plainly, “Cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Not as comfort.
As ontology.
The man no longer carries himself. He is carried.

7

St. Silouan writes that when the soul comes to know this life, it desires nothing else. Even suffering cannot remove its peace, because its life is no longer located in what suffers.

The body may weaken.
The mind may grow silent.
The world may collapse.
But the life remains.
Because it is not created life.
It is participation in uncreated life.
Christ says, “Because I live, you will live also.” John 14:19 Not because you are strong.
Not because you are faithful.
Because I live.

Archimandrite Sophrony writes that at this stage, man begins to live hypostatically. He exists no longer as an isolated psychological individual, but as a person whose being is rooted in the divine Person of Christ.

This life is hidden even from the man himself. He cannot grasp it.
He cannot analyze it.
He cannot possess it.

He can only live it.
This is why the saints appear ordinary.
They do not experience themselves as extraordinary. They experience themselves as nothing.

8

And precisely in this nothingness, God becomes everything.

Abba Macarius said, “The man who has truly come to know himself sees himself as beneath all creation.”

Not as metaphor.
As reality.
Because he no longer lives from himself. God alone lives in him.

Archimandrite Zacharias writes that when this life appears, prayer becomes self acting. The heart continues in God without effort. The man no longer generates prayer. Prayer becomes the life of God within him.

St. Paul speaks of this mystery, “The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26

Not we pray.

The Spirit prays.

The man has become the place where God lives.

This is why fear disappears.

Not because suffering ends.

But because death has already occurred.

The man has already lost himself.

There is nothing left to lose.

Christ says, “He who believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live.” John 11:25

This is not only future. It is present.

9

The man has died.
And now lives.
This life cannot be destroyed. Because it is not his.
It is Christ.

St. Ignatius of Antioch, walking toward martyrdom, said, “It is no longer I who live, but there is within me a living water that speaks and says, Come to the Father.”

This is the voice of the life that remains.
The life that appears when the self that lived has died.
This is the final dismantling.
The end of autonomy.
The end of separation.
The end of the illusion of self existence.
And the beginning of life.
The man who has nothing left but God discovers that God is everything. And that this is enough.
And that it has always been enough.
And that there is no one left to live apart from Him.

10

---

Text of chat during the group:

00:02:25 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: From the dismantling of the religious ego there emerges first a profound poverty of heart. The man who once relied upon his virtues, his understanding, or his religious identity discovers that none of these can sustain him before God. What comes into being in this poverty is humility—not as an idea about oneself, but as a quiet truthfulness. The soul no longer needs to defend itself, justify itself, or measure its progress. Having seen its own weakness and the mercy of God, the heart becomes simple and soft. Compassion begins to arise almost without effort, because the man now recognizes in others the same frailty he has discovered within himself. Prayer also changes in character. It is no longer the activity of someone seeking spiritual achievement, but the cry of a heart that knows its need for God and rests in His mercy.

00:02:40 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: From this humility something deeper is gradually born: a new way of existing before God and others. The person who once lived within the tight circle of self-concern begins to expand inwardly. Peace appears—not the fragile peace that depends on circumstances or success, but a deeper stillness that comes from having nothing left to protect or prove. The heart becomes capable of bearing others, interceding for them, and loving without calculation. In the language of the fathers and the modern elders, this is the beginning of true personhood: the birth of a man whose life is no longer organized around the maintenance of the self, but around communion with God. What emerges from the dismantling of the religious ego, therefore, is not spiritual ruin but a hidden new life—humble, spacious, and quietly alive with the presence of God.

00:31:43 Bob Čihák, AZ: These paradoxes remind me of Chesterton's.

00:39:44 Adam Paige: Reacted to "These paradoxes remi…" with 👍

00:53:43 Eleana Urrego: Virgen Mary was not a powerful woman

01:02:32 Francisco Ingham: “What remains is Life”

So beautiful Father, life giving words

01:03:23 Maureen Cunningham: It Beautiful

01:05:01 David Swiderski, WI: Some of the holiest people who seem to carry an aura or sense of peace have often had very traumatic and bad experiences and most not priest or monks but ordinary people. Others when confronted with the same become narcissists and hold the illusion of being successful.  There is a sense of joy felt being around them and sadness in leaving them.  It seems that tearing down of anything tying us to things of this world is often a blessing. When you have nothing left to depend on there is only faith then the smallest things and kindnesses become treasures that were invisible in the past. That point seems an invitation for us unencumbered by things of this world to draw closer to the source of all that is good. I think all of us can look at a younger version of ourselves not recognizing that person as us but almost as a stranger with the thought- what was I (that person) thinking. Humility, loss, repentance seem to lead us to see not with our eyes but a glimpse of what He sees.

01:07:57 Francisco Ingham: Reacted to "Some of the holiest …" with ❤️

01:36:53 Danny Moulton: I couldn’t help but think of Aquinas and his sudden awareness that his work was “straw.” I wonder if he experienced the transformation you mention. In other words, a shedding of himself to live fully in God.

01:37:50 Maureen Cunningham: When you say become prayer does that mean you are no longer requesting

01:38:31 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "Some of the holies..." with ❤️

01:38:35 Fr Martin, Arizona: Certainly, as you spoke today, I felt myself drawn into this desire to live in the breath of love, that God is enough, upheld in love. It seems to make sense somewhere within me. Will I still maintain this sense or thought when my pastoral counsel tells me what it wants in the parish at our meeting tomorrow? I’m sad that I too often find myself in myself again.

01:38:42 Danny Moulton: Reacted to "Some of the holiest ..." with ❤️

01:40:09 Ben: Anna; That anecdote of St. Philip Neri bursting into tears at the party and the teaching that we will no longer see the sins and faults of our neighbour seem to contradict each other.

01:45:00 iPhone: As one makes spiritual progress is some of the fear rooted more in entering the unknown? I think a big part of identity is centered on social relationships. How might this be an impediment in one’s spiritual journey? Is it a spiritual mourning to lose those aspects/sources of one’s identity?

01:53:20 Parnak K.: He went through severe trauma as a child then again in his late adolescence, when he had nothing to live for, and wanted to die.  He somehow held on, after “surviving” on alcohol and another addiction.  Finally, after managing to achieve a false appearance of being successful, a deep sense of emptiness and loss finally hit him. He surrendered to God and asked Him to come back in his life.  His life changed.  He received the sacraments once more, only now with real meaning.  But still, he did not receive the total transformation described here, even though he was thoroughly dismantled and God restored him to life.

01:53:25 Jared: I struggle to harmonize God's command to provide and care for my family with his command to not be anxious for anything. I know that in myself I do not have the ability to care for them as I should, yet I often live as though everything depends on me. I don't trust God enough to make up for my deficiencies. Also, I worry about bad things happening to my family because I know it will also bring me deep pain. My identity is bound up with them. Sometimes, I wonder if God is calling me to make difficult decisions, but I hesitate to make them because I wonder how those decisions will affect my family's security. God cares for me and my family more than I do, more than I can ever imagine. Why can't I trust him whole-heartedly and without reserve? Why can't I let go and stop holding on so tightly to my both my family and my sense of responsibility for them?

01:57:01 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "I struggle to harm..." with 👍

02:00:27 Jessica McHale: This retreat has clarified something I’ve struggled with for eight years and thought six relocations. I’ve been searching for 'community' as a way to find a home, but I realize now that God has been stripping away that desire to show me something greater. I am not going to find Him in a parish, a group, or an identity with a community; I will only find Him in Himself. This isn't a punishment, but a beautiful reality: He is enough. While community is a gift, it is not my 'destination.' Thank you for helping me confirm that He is all I truly need and to focus on that union.

02:01:00 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "This retreat has c..." with ❤️

02:01:38 Sophia Bomba: Reacted to "This retreat has c..." with ❤️

02:01:47 David Swiderski, WI: Reacted to "This retreat has cla..." with 👍

02:02:01 Danny Moulton: Reacted to "This retreat has cla..." with ❤️

02:06:16 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you, your mother and this group. Where 75 gather on Zoom He is present :)

02:06:26 Julie: Thankyou Father🙏

02:06:38 Rita’s iPhone: Thank you!

02:06:43 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Thank you Father may..." with ❤️

02:06:44 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Thank you, Father. This was wonderful. God bless you.

02:06:44 Jared: Thank you very much for these talks Father! They've made me think a lot.

02:06:45 Janine: So wonderful! And you explained it clearly! Thank you!

02:06:48 Gwen’s iPhone: Thank you. Prayers.

02:07:00 kristy: Thank you!

02:07:03 Jessica McHale: Hallelujah! Thank you, Father and God bless you and your mother. Many prayers!!!

02:07:04 Ivan: Thank you!

02:07:07 Bob Čihák, AZ: I pray for you every day, Father

02:07:44 Sophia Bomba: Thank you Fr. This was a wonderful retreat.

02:07:44 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father, for the amazing retreat!

02:07:47 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️

02:07:59 Jesssica Imanaka: Thank you, Father!

02:08:12 Erick Chastain: Thank you fr