EXPERTS ON EXPERT: John Gottman

In 'Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love', John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman provide a step-by-step guide to help couples navigate the challenges of long-term commitment. Drawing from their extensive research at the Love Lab, the authors outline eight essential conversations that couples should have to build a strong and lasting relationship. Each date is designed to address a different critical topic, including trust, conflict, intimacy, finances, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. The book includes exercises, open-ended discussion questions, and suggestions for where to have these dates, aiming to foster deeper understanding, empathy, and connection between partners.

In 'Blink', Malcolm Gladwell explores the concept of 'thin-slicing', the ability of our unconscious mind to make rapid decisions based on limited information. The book delves into both the strengths and pitfalls of this process, using examples from various fields such as psychology, medicine, sales, and law enforcement. Gladwell discusses how these snap judgments can be both incredibly accurate and sometimes tragically wrong, influenced by factors like prejudice, stereotypes, and psychological priming. He also examines how experts develop their intuitive judgment through experience and training, and how stressful situations can affect our decision-making abilities.

In 'The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us', Sheril Kirshenbaum delves into the multifaceted world of kissing, addressing questions such as when humans began to kiss, why kissing is integral to some cultures and alien to others, and the biological and psychological effects of kissing. The book draws upon classical history, evolutionary biology, psychology, and popular culture to provide a comprehensive and engaging look at this universal human behavior. Kirshenbaum's work is informed by the latest studies and theories, making the book appealing to both romantics and armchair scientists.

In 'Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five,' John Medina bridges the gap between what scientists know about early childhood brain development and what parents practice. The book provides practical advice and scientifically-backed insights on how to optimize a child's brain development. Medina discusses the importance of face time with the mother, the dangers of excessive screen time, and the critical role of teaching impulse control. He also addresses how maternal stress can impact a child's brain and offers tips on handling temper tantrums and promoting healthy brain activity. The book is filled with engaging stories, case studies, and summaries of key points to make the scientific information accessible and actionable for parents.

The Mask You Live In follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America's narrow definition of masculinity. The film, directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, highlights the pressures from media, peer groups, and adults that encourage boys to disconnect from their emotions, devalue authentic friendships, objectify and degrade women, and resolve conflicts through violence. Experts in neuroscience, psychology, sociology, sports, education, and media provide empirical evidence of the 'boy crisis' and suggest tactics to combat it. The documentary aims to illustrate how society can raise a healthier generation of boys and young men.

The Normal Bar provides an in-depth exploration of what makes relationships fulfilling, drawing from a massive survey of over 75,000 people in committed relationships. The book delves into various aspects of relationships, including communication, intimacy, trust, conflict resolution, and shared activities. It offers practical tools and advice to help couples navigate the complexities of their relationships, making it an indispensable guide for those seeking to enhance their romantic connections. The authors analyze behaviors and habits of happy couples, providing insights into what constitutes a 'new normal' in relationships and how to achieve it.