Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Guiding Your Preteen Daughter to Find Her Identity in Christ
Feb 9, 2026
Dr. Heather Holleman, author and professor who writes for women and middle-grade readers, helps parents understand middle school life. She discusses why this time shapes identity. She shares the inspiration behind her Alita Brown series. She covers building a Christ-centered identity, handling emotional outbursts, journaling to ease anxiety, and the harms of screens and comparison.
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Identity Loss Fuels Loneliness And Anxiety
- Lack of purpose and identity drives loneliness and anxiety in college students.
- Early grounding in faith and community prevents those long-term struggles.
How Alita Brown Was Born
- Heather created the Alita Brown character after teaching adults that the seat-at-the-table wound often began in seventh grade.
- Her daughter suggested fiction, so she wrote This Seat's Saved to reach middle-grade girls.
Anchor Identity In Ephesians 2
- Teach your daughter Ephesians 2 so she knows she is "seated with Christ."
- Use short phrases like "I'm already seated at the best table with Jesus" to anchor identity.
