Psychologists Off the Clock 448. The Power of Oversharing with Leslie John
Feb 25, 2026
Leslie John, a Harvard Business School behavioral scientist and author studying self-disclosure, explores the surprising social power of revealing more about yourself. She discusses why we hold back, how slight vulnerability sparks reciprocity, techniques to move past small talk, and when sharing helps or harms in friendships and at work.
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Research Sparked By Personal Contradiction
- Leslie John noticed a personal-professional disconnect: she cautioned against online oversharing yet revealed more in personal life.
- That contradiction plus studies on preference for revealers motivated her to research oversharing's benefits.
Disclosure Signals Build Reciprocal Trust
- Revealing sensitive information builds trust because disclosure signals you trust the listener, which elicits reciprocal trust.
- Leslie John found people prefer a candid revealer over someone who refuses to answer even about unglamorous topics, across dating and hiring scenarios.
Share Slightly Deeper Than Usual
- Try sharing a little more than usual by stating what a situation means to you rather than only describing it.
- Example: instead of "They're so happy," say "I haven't had a real belly laugh in ages," then ask "When's the last time you had one?"
