How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

SPECIAL EP: On Fertility and Finding Your Family… with Rebecca Coxon

Mar 9, 2026
Rebecca Coxon, journalist and memoirist of Inconceivable, explores donor conception, fertility struggles and family identity. She recounts discovering her origins via a DNA test. The conversation covers endometriosis, choosing to donate eggs, the emotional fallout of IVF and breakup, meeting her donor, and the tangled feelings of belonging and loss.
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ANECDOTE

Discovering She Was Donor Conceived

  • Rebecca Coxon discovered via 23andMe that a supposed paternal half‑sister existed and confronted her parents at Easter, who then revealed she was donor conceived.
  • The DNA match showed ~25% shared DNA, prompting a year of searching and family conversations that reshaped her origin story.
INSIGHT

Endometriosis Is Systemic Not Just Painful

  • Endometriosis is more than painful periods: Rebecca describes systemic inflammation, fatigue, brain fog, bowel and bladder effects that erode daily function.
  • She likens it to 'bone‑aching flu' and a 'cactus through my colon' to convey chronic, multi‑system impact and underfunding.
INSIGHT

US Donor Market Feels Like Dating Apps

  • The US egg donor market treats donors like consumer profiles — a Tinder‑style selection with photos and traits — creating ethical and emotional complexity.
  • Rebecca contrasts that with her parents' hospital‑chosen donor, highlighting market differences.
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