Dear Gabby

Use this Parenting Advice in All Relationships—BIG TALK with Dr. Becky

Aug 29, 2022
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ADVICE

Prepare, Predict, And Do It Decisively

  • Prepare yourself mentally before removing a comfort object and separate your decision from your child's feelings.
  • Explain the change, predict their feelings, promise support, and carry it out decisively so your child feels secure.
ADVICE

Hold Boundaries Even During Big Feelings

  • Resist changing decisions to avoid your child's big feelings; that reinforces that distress is intolerable.
  • Prepare phrases to validate feelings while holding the boundary so your child learns emotional safety within limits.
INSIGHT

Tantrums Signal Frustration Tolerance

  • Tantrums don't mean manipulation; they reveal whether a child learns to tolerate frustration.
  • Repeatedly avoiding distress teaches entitlement and reduces a child's tolerance for frustration later in life.
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