Brendan O'Connor Dr Richard Hogan: “Guilt & shame have their tentacles in everything”
Mar 21, 2026
Dr Richard Hogan, psychotherapist and columnist focused on mental health and relationships. He explores why guilt and shame are so pervasive, how they evolved as social repair systems, and how culture and institutions magnify them. He explains the difference between guilt and shame, practical ways to reduce rumination, support partners and children, and the healing role of disclosure and humour.
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Guilt And Shame Are Social Repair Systems
- Guilt and shame are evolutionary social emotions designed to keep groups aligned and repair relationships.
- Richard Hogan explains guilt corrects behaviour while reflecting shifting social norms across eras and groups.
Dyslexia Created Long Lasting Shame For Richard
- Richard Hogan shares his childhood dyslexia to show how schooling created deep shame and feelings of being 'outside the norm'.
- He describes writing and using a laptop as ways he could 'fly' despite early shame.
Observe Guilty Thoughts Rather Than Fuel Them
- Observe guilty thoughts instead of reacting emotionally so neurons stop reinforcing them.
- Richard Hogan suggests naming the thought, treating it with levity and letting it pass to break the neural loop.