The Dildorks Feeling Things Out
Dec 12, 2023
They walk through ways to vet sex and kink compatibility early on using conversation techniques and storytelling. They compare texting versus in-person cues and how flirt styles reveal power dynamics. They flag red flags like vague 'down for anything' answers and recommend questions to surface reasoning, boundaries, fantasies, and enthusiasm without turning everything into sexting.
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Ask Before You Interview
- Ask permission before launching into intense sex questions by saying you want to go into "sex journalist/podcaster mode."
- Use that framing to gauge comfort and invite the other person to opt in or out.
Flirting Reveals Power Vibes
- Flirting style often signals power dynamics and possible dom/sub tendencies early on.
- Kate Sloan listens for a "toppy/dommy" versus "subby/bottomy" vibe in how someone flirts.
Elicit Stories, Not Yes/No
- Elicit anecdotes about past experiences rather than yes/no answers to learn how someone thinks about sex and consent.
- Ask "have you ever tried that? How'd it go?" to surface values and consent ethics.
