The Mark Groves Podcast #199: Codependency: the Disease to Please with Terri Cole
10 snips
Mar 28, 2022 
Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist and bestselling author known for work on codependency and boundaries. She breaks down what codependency looks like in behavior. They explore how it forms in childhood and why people stay stuck. Practical first steps are offered, including boundary experiments and practicing truthful requests.
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High Functioning Codependency Is Covert Control
- Codependency often appears as high functioning competence rather than dependence.
- Terri Cole calls this high functioning codependency: successful people over-function but are overly invested in others' outcomes.
Childhood Adaptation Becomes Adult Self Abandonment
- Codependency is an adaptive survival strategy learned in childhood to avoid pain or chaos.
- Terri explains kids learn to read others' needs to prevent being targeted, which later becomes adult self-abandonment.
People Pleasing Is A Covert Power Play
- High-functioning codependency is a covert bid for control driven by fear and lack.
- Terri calls the control attempt an unconscious manipulation to avoid chaotic feelings in others.
