Sex for Saints Episode 370 - When It Feels Like It's Never Enough
May 23, 2025
Conversations about feeling chronically inadequate in intimate relationships and why one partner might always want more. Exploration of the emotional drivers behind craving more connection, novelty, or validation. Practical steps for setting loving boundaries and defining what 'enough' looks like together. Advice on managing desire with an abundance mindset while keeping safety, respect, and collaboration central.
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Requests Trigger Identity Fears Not Just Preferences
- Constant requests for sexual change often trigger deep fears of inadequacy and worthiness rather than just sexual preference.
- Amanda Lauder explains that repeated invitations to grow can feel like a moving finish line, making partners wonder if they'll ever measure up.
Desire Is Often Emotional Regulation
- Sexual desire often functions as emotion regulation: comfort, novelty, control, or validation rather than purely physical want.
- Amanda notes the requester may equate novelty with love or use sex to self-soothe, changing how their requests feel to the partner.
Respond With Curiosity And Loving Boundaries
- When asked to give more, get curious, set loving boundaries, name what's working, check motives, and work as a team.
- Amanda advises asking open questions like "What are you really hoping to feel?" and framing growth as shared exploration.