Savage Lovecast Episode 1012

Mar 31, 2026

Christine Emba, opinion writer and author of Rethinking Sex, brings sharp cultural analysis. She talks about looks-maxers and the pressures of visual culture. She explores Gen Z dating trends and status-driven self-optimization. Short, provocative conversations about gender, desire, and why relationships feel deprioritized today.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

How LGBT Voters Shifted In 2024

LGBT voters moved decisively away from Trump in 2024, shifting 15 points further into the Democratic camp compared to 2020.
Dan Savage cites NBC exit polls showing Harris beat Trump 86% to 12 among LGBT voters, marking the only major demographic swing away from Trump.

INSIGHT

No Sympathy For MAGA Gay Men

Dan Savage rejects pleas from MAGA-aligned gay men for hookup acceptance, urging the community to withhold sexual and social support.
He repurposes a lesbian separatist slogan: 'Men, don't breed them, don't feed them,' aimed at MAGA gays.

ADVICE

Label According To Who You're Available For

If your sexual and romantic attractions differ from your kink play, label yourself in the way that best communicates availability to potential partners.
Dan Savage tells Anna she can accurately identify as straight while acknowledging heteroflexible kink play.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

On the Intro, a public service announcement regarding Log Cabin Republicans and MAGA gays: Don't Breed Em, Don't Feed 'Em.

An Australian woman would like advice on pegging a military man.

Our guest is NYT writer Christine Emba. Her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation made a big splash, and added to a cultural conversation about feminism and female desire. She and Dan talk about "looks maxers," the emotional intelligence gap between men and women, and why Gen Z folks aren't dating. A bit of this great convo is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

And, a woman reconnected with an old high school classmate that she had a crush on back in the day. It turns out she still does! But he's married. The question is, is he happily married? And are they open?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ⁠ForiaWellness.com/Savage⁠

This episode is sponsored by Sundays for Dogs- Dog food using the same ingredients and care you’d use to cook for yourself and your family. Go to ⁠sundaysfordogs.com/SAVAGE50⁠ and get 50% off your first order. Or, you can use code SAVAGE50 at checkout.

This episode is brought to you by Carafem, an abortion and reproductive healthcare provider that offers both in person care in Atlanta, Chicago, Washington DC and telehealth options for abortion pills by mail in 21 states. Carafem’s team of licensed medical professionals provide personalized abortion care options focused on your needs, preferences, and values. Visit ⁠Carafem.org⁠ to learn more.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.