Do You F*cking Mind? The Reset You Actually Need - Day 9. Less proving, More Choosing
Jan 21, 2026
They unpack the difference between proving and choosing and why that shift matters. They explore how proving wastes energy and how choosing creates clearer boundaries. They trace proving back to self-doubt and reactive behavior. They discuss tolerating discomfort when you decide for yourself and how choosing leads to quieter, more effective decisions.
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Proving Is Reactive Choosing Is A Position
- Proving is reactive while choosing is a grounded position that comes from internal clarity.
- Alexis Fernandez explains that proving waits for others' reactions, whereas choosing creates inner equilibrium and clearer decisions.
Do Things For Your Future Not To Make Your Ex Jealous
- Avoid actions primarily aimed at getting someone else to react and instead pick activities that benefit your future and wellbeing.
- Alexis uses the ex-example: choose hobbies that make you grow even if your ex would call them 'cringe'.
The Ex Regret Movie That Wastes Years
- Alexis shares the common ex-regret movie where every action is filtered through 'will my ex notice' instead of personal growth.
- She contrasts living for someone who doesn't care with choosing hobbies that actually help you meet people and grow.