Well with Arielle Lorre 436: Attachment Styles Explained: Why We Chase Unavailable People (and What To Do Instead) with Thais Gibson
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Jan 26, 2026 
Thais Gibson, relationship and attachment theory expert and founder of the Personal Development School, breaks down why we chase emotionally unavailable people. She explains anxious, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant and secure patterns. Short takes cover chemistry versus trauma bonding, why we’re drawn to repressed traits, the six relationship stages, and the five pillars for changing attachment styles.
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Chaotic Childhoods Create Push-Pull
- Fearful avoidant attachment arises from chaotic or inconsistent caregiving, producing hypervigilance and push-pull behavior.
- Thais Gibson says fearful avoidants both crave and fear closeness, creating hot-and-cold relationships.
Start By Meeting Your Own Needs
- Identify your unmet childhood needs and intentionally start meeting them yourself to heal attachment wounds.
- Thais Gibson advises that filling those needs enables you to receive healthy connection from others.
Communicate With Positive Framing
- Communicate needs with positive framing instead of criticism to invite constructive responses.
- Thais Gibson recommends saying what you want (e.g., request quality time) rather than listing complaints.