21: Our Evolution into a Beautiful, Non-Sexual, Polyamorous Marriage
Nov 29, 2021
The podcast discusses the journey of a couple evolving into a non-sexual, polyamorous marriage. They explore the factors behind their evolution, such as asexual feelings, postpartum motherhood, and long-term relationships. They emphasize that their evolution does not represent all polyamorous married couples and share why they chose to stay married. The podcast also delves into the concept of non-sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and negotiating sex and desire in a polyamorous marriage. They express gratitude for their supportive community and encourage listeners to join.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Birthday Party Joke Eases Tension
Jes and Joe share a funny moment where Joe, upset, asked who will throw Jes's birthday parties now.
Jes jokingly replied it was only because they had sex, bringing Joe back from his upset state.
insights INSIGHT
Sexual Incompatibility Root Cause
Jes believes they were never sexually compatible due to her kinky sexuality and Joe's late blooming.
This mismatch caused trauma and repression of Jes's kinkiness early in their relationship.
insights INSIGHT
Demisexuality Explains Attraction
Jes identifies as demisexual, meaning she sometimes lacks sexual attraction even with emotional connections.
Joe found it helpful to frame Jes's asexuality as part of her demisexual spectrum identity.
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In this extremely vulnerable episode, The Daylovers "come out", and share with you the raw details of their evolution into a beautiful, asexual, polyamorous marriage.
They lay out every piece of their journey:
Jes's fearful confession of her asexual feelings toward Joe a few months ago,
how that landed in Joe's world,
Joe's processing of those emotions,
why they think of it as an "evolution", and
Jes's very detailed theory as to the factors behind this evolution-- including pieces of their past, Jes's demisexuality, life as a postpartum mother, the nature of long term relationships, and Joe's exploration of his own sexuality.
They sternly offer several disclaimers, including that just because they are polyam, does NOT mean all polyam married folks are asexual, nor does it mean they're polyamorous "because" of their asexual vibe; and most importantly, they did not "become asexual" as a consequence of exploring polyamory.
The episode ends with their mutual unpacking of their extremely passionate, and also thorough, answer to the question: "Then why stay married?"
If you are exploring similar dynamics in your relationship, you are not alone. Head to www.remodeledlove.com and click on "peer support" to learn more about how The Daylovers can hold space for you, and guide you through this shift into a beautiful expansion.
#RedefineMarriage
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🎙If you love our content and want to support us:
Buy our book "Polyamory & Parenthood: Navigating Non-Monogamy as Parents of Young Children", available at www.remodeledlove.com and in print/Kindle on Amazon!
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