The Sabrina Zohar Show 199:Can You Change Your Attachment Style? With Amir Levine
9 snips
Apr 17, 2026 
Amir Levine, psychiatrist and author of Attached and Secure, explains attachment science in plain terms. He debunks myths about fixity, reveals why avoidant partners shut down, and defines the “closeness overdose.” He introduces the CARP pillars—consistent, available, responsive, reliable, predictable—and shares practical ways to begin earning secure connection.
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Attachment Styles Can Change Over Time
- Adult attachment is not fixed by childhood and can change through new evidence to the brain.
- Amir Levine explains upbringing explains less than 10% of adult attachment and friendships can correlate more with adult styles.
Why Avoidants Pull Away Fast
- Avoidants often unintentionally push people away because they assume everyone should self-solve and they devalue attachment needs.
- Amir introduces the 'closeness overdose' where rapid closeness triggers avoidant deactivation.
Ease Into Closeness For Avoidant Partners
- Respect avoidant partners' need for gradual closeness and give small, predictable doses of attention to soothe their alarm system.
- Amir uses the example of pet attention to show tiny consistent gestures reduce attachment anxiety.
