Why we choose lower standards

Ever caught yourself saying "when it's good, it's so good"? In this first episode of the 4-part Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you keep falling in love with who someone could be instead of who they actually are — and why potential is just a placeholder for the grief you're avoiding. She dives into the neuroscience of the "prospective brain," the impact bias that keeps you chasing a fantasy, and the 13-year longitudinal study that explains why you lower your standards for the wrong people but can't appreciate the ones who actually show up.

Sabrina gets vulnerable about her own patternsand gives you the exact reframe to stop confusing anxiety with connection. Plus, this week's tool: the Potential vs. Reality Audit, a two-column exercise to see whether you're in a relationship or a fantasy. If you've ever wondered why the available person feels boring or why you keep choosing people who need to become someone else for it to work, this one's for you.

If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE!

If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!

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Chapters

00:00 Hard Truth Series Part 1

01:50 Gratitude & Setting Boundaries

04:59 What "I See Potential" Really Means

08:00 The Pattern Is the Real Them

11:08 Real Potential vs Fantasy Potential

15:54 Neuroscience of Dating a Fantasy

20:36 3 Questions Keeping You Stuck

25:51 Are You a Partner or a Fixer

28:21 What If They Change For Someone Else

33:47 Tool: Potential vs Reality Audit

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.

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