How to ask curious, non-threatening questions

Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear.

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In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction.

04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict?

09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain.

12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation?

16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation.

23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes.

26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation.

32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity.

38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise?

41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked.

46:15 What is the listening triangle?

50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation?

57:00 How to build your rejection muscle.

01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation

01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence.

Resources + Links

Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator

Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen