Using leverage: tech access contingent on schoolwork

What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn’t matter because they’re definitely going to be an influencer?

If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and isolating when your kid’s ambitions seem disconnected from reality.

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan respond to a parent letter about a tween absolutely convinced of their future influencer fame, while academic failure and emotional strain mount at home. They unpack what’s normal, what’s concerning, and how parents can respond without crushing their child’s dreams or losing their relationship.

💡 YOU’LL LEARN:

- Why disengaging from school is a serious red flag- How brain development shapes tween and teen thinking about work, fame, and the future- What’s different for neurotypical kids vs. kids on the autism spectrum- Practical, concrete ways to motivate kids to re-invest in school and real-world relationships

If you’re worried your child is chasing online fame at the expense of their future, this conversation offers grounded guidance and reassurance that you’re not alone.

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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Episode keywords: influencer kids, failing grades, school disengagement, autism, motivation tips, middle school

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