How norms persist and change (FGM, segregation)

90% of Americans privately agree on most issues, yet publicly act like enemies. Author Todd Rose unmasks the collective illusions fueling our division.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1323

What We Discuss with Todd Rose:

• Collective illusions are social lies we all participate in because we mistakenly believe everyone else believes them. On most controversial U.S. issues, around 90% of people privately agree, yet publicly act like they're at war — we're not divided, we're confused and copying each other.
• Our brains use a flimsy shortcut to gauge group beliefs: the loudest voices repeated the most are assumed to be the majority. On X, 80% of content comes from just 10% of users — fringe extremists who are not remotely representative — yet their volume warps our sense of what "everyone" thinks.
• Foreign adversaries (China, Iran, Russia) have weaponized this vulnerability with AI-enabled bot armies. Roughly a quarter of social media interactions are with bots, and just 5% well-designed bot presence can dictate group consensus — manufacturing illusions to destroy social trust cheaply and effectively.
• Conformity is biologically hardwired: agreeing with your group triggers a dopamine reward like hard drugs, while disagreeing fires an error signal that disrupts memory and attention. In one study, people unconsciously shifted their ratings of attractiveness to match a fake group — some literally seeing differently.
• The good news: these illusions are fragile because they're lies, and shattering them happens at the speed of trust. Have one honest conversation with someone who matters to you, or simply inject uncertainty ("I'm not sure yet") into group conversations. That small act of moral courage cascades faster than you'd ever believe.
• And much more...

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