Chapter 16: Dinner party at Mrs. Philips' house. Wickham arrives, and Molly postulates that perhaps Lizzy might have a croosh. DARCY/WICKHAM DRAMA!!! We get into the depths of using the TITULAR WORDS. We find out Darcy is related to the de Bourghs, and there are wedding bells in his future with Baby DB. Highlights include: Sir Kenneth Branagh (and a shout out to Potterless), Lydia, Darcy and Wickham as Ross and Rachel, a burn tally for Darcy, the Shire, can we trust Downton Abbey?

Chapter 17: Lizzy tells Jane what's happened, and Jane remains infuriatingly impartial. Bingley and his sisters invite everyone to a ball at Netherfield! Even Collins is excited and hopes that Lizzy will dance with him. OH NO. He wants to marry her. Highlights include: I Wanna Dance with Somebody, Mary as a lesbian in Williamsburg.

Chapter 18: The day of the ball! Wickham is NOT there. Darcy asks Lizzy to dance and Molly, unfortunately, begins shipping Lizzy and Darcy. Lizzy brings up Wickham just to stir the pot. Caroline tries to get involved. Collins decides he MUST introduce himself to Darcy on account of his connections to Lady Katie DB. We have an Embarrass Lizzy Festival including a song from Mary and a speech from Collins. Highlights include: Colin Firth and Prejudice, dancing as a metaphor for bad sex, Harry and Hermione fanfiction, Collins as Peter the Great (Monument to Peter I at Peter and Paul Fortress in St. Petersburg), a very drunk Mrs. Bennet, and an in depth discussion of the Golden Shower (Danae and Zeus). Molly learns that nowadays golden shower means something very different from the sperm of the gods.

Please note: Our audio producer Graham pointed out that it was neither American Idol nor the X-Factor that has the golden buzzer--it's America's Got Talent.

Study Questions:

Wickham vs. Darcy: Molly likes Wickham but doesn't trust him yet. Molly wants Lizzy to bang them both but she's now #prodizzy.

Love triangles: Darcy and Wickham love Lizzy and loathe each other. Darcy has Baby DB and Caroline. Mr. Collins just really wants to be a part of it all. We will be posting a picture of this chart on our Instagram.

Class struggles: Darcy is the most classist person in the book so far, and that colors his relationships with everyone, especially Wickham.

Dancing: The first TOUCH. Molly compares the rules of courting in this time period to the thin walls of Chekhov's estate.

Bennet family yikes: Lizzy is more concerned for Jane than she is for herself.

The de BOURGHS: All of the plots converged on each other. Catherine de Bourgh is Darcy's aunt and Baby de Bourgh is his cousin. Becca points out that this prearranged marriage is intended to keep the fortune in the family. (Quick plug of Molly's poetry Instagram.) Molly notes that the de Bourgh's clergyman is Collins who's equally trying to marry his own cousin. At this point, Molly thinks Lizzy doesn't really have a choice but to marry Mr. Collins.

We think maybe Wickham could be played by a young Christian Bale circa Midsummer Night's Dream directed by Kenneth Branagh, or maybe Heath Ledger circa 10 Things I Hate About You.

Funniest quote: Jane: "It is difficult indeed. It is difficult indeed. It is distressing. One does not know what to think." Lizzy: "I beg your pardon. One knows exactly what to think." (Molly is Jane and Becca is Lizzy).

Biggest question: Does Darcy know he's engaged to Baby DB?

Who wins the chapters? DARCYYYYYY!!!!??????

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