How Grief Undermines the 'Try Harder' Strategy

On today's episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast.

Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?

Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how "being nice" can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what's really happening inside.

If you've ever swallowed your needs to keep the peace, felt resentful after saying yes, or worried that one mistake could cost you connection, our conversation will resonate.

We Explore: • Why "Are you mad at me?" isn't really a question, but a feeling. • The difference between being nice and being compassionate. • How grief challenges the hope that if we try harder, we'll finally be seen. • Small corrective experiences that help our parts learn we're actually safe.

Here's a link to the workshop she mentioned in the episode.

Meg Josephson, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Are You Mad at Me?, which has been translated into over 20 languages. In her private practice, she specializes in trauma-informed care through a mindfulness-based, compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University.

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