Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side.
Key Topics:
0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment
4:38: What are we abandoning?
8:30: The self-abandonment loop
21:55: How a parts model can help us understand the shame
26:20: The double-bind of self-criticism
32:56: How to get out of the double-bind
41:34: Anger and resentment
49:47: Moving from shame to grief
56:15: Breaking the self-abandonment loop
1:10:22: Recap
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