If you have ADHD, chances are you've developed a deeply ingrained habit of apologizing — for being late, for forgetting, for talking too long, for existing in a way that feels like an inconvenience. In this episode, Nikki and Pete unpack why over-apologizing is so common in the ADHD experience and how rejection sensitive dysphoria fuels the cycle. They explore what happens on the receiving end when apologies become emotional labor for someone else, and why pre-apologizing can actually undermine your credibility and prevent others from having their own authentic reactions.
The conversation moves from apology into repair — a critical distinction. Where an apology is one-directional, repair is a two-party activity built on acknowledging impact, taking responsibility, and resetting the relationship. Nikki walks through the framework of acknowledge, repair, reset, and Pete shares a powerful lesson from his own therapist: your power ends with your skin. You get to own your part, but you don't get to own someone else's forgiveness timeline. They also dig into why self-compassion isn't optional — it's the foundation that makes real repair possible.
This episode also comes with a free downloadable resource: "Repair Scripts for Real Life: The ADHD Repair Guide," featuring five ready-to-use scripts for situations that come up for ADHDers every single week. Grab your copy Right Here!
Links & Notes
- (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
- (00:57) - Looking for Membership?
- (02:56) - How to Repair without Over-Apologizing
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