What Are the Things That Made You Become Who You Are Today?

I grew up in a very conservative home. I had two conflicting views because one parent was telling me that I had to live with the fear of God in my heart and the other one was just very chill. So, I feel like a lot of the children in my family suffered because of that too. And I wasn't aware of that until I didn't feel safe in my home. It's not necessarily a reflection of my culture, but a reflection of men who are restricted to express their sexuality. You know, I was trying to constantly escape my anxiety so, I dived into like numbing myself. But yeah, I don't really talk too much about this.