Dangers of shadow identification

The word projection gets thrown around a lot these days, often in an accusatory way (think, “so-and-so is projecting!”). But projection is actually a normal, unconscious psychological process that shows up in all relationships!

That doesn’t mean we should let our projections go unchecked. They can interfere with our ability to truly see our partners as whole, autonomous beings.

The good news is that when we become aware of our projections, we have a powerful opportunity to uncover and reclaim the parts of ourselves we’ve denied and disowned. And these aren’t always deep, dark shadowy parts—they can also be positive traits like creativity or intelligence.

In this episode, we explore what projection is, how it shows up in relationships, and why reclaiming these “shadow” parts is essential for personal growth. Tune in to learn how working through projections can deepen your connections and help you see yourself—and your partners—in a whole new light.

We’re breaking down:

— What psychological projection is and how it operates in our subconscious minds

— The role of projection in falling in love, limerence, and new relationship energy

— How projection can interfere with seeing our partners as sacred, autonomous beings

— The stages of becoming aware of and working through projections

— Why reclaiming projected qualities is essential for personal growth

— How projection relates to childhood wounds and unresolved issues from the past

— The dangers of over-identifying with negative projections or shadow qualities

— Practical strategies for recognizing and working with projections in relationships

— The value of patience and compassion when addressing projections with a partner

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Carl Jung's Collected Works (This is the Wikipedia page, to give you an idea of what the CW contains. If you’re looking for a good place to begin reading Jung’s work, Joli suggests Memories, Dreams, Reflections)

— Episode 164: I HATE THIS: Get Unstuck with Existential Kink (A shadow work method)

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions