187 Setting Boundaries with Emotionally Immature Parents
Unapologetically Sensitive
Responding calmly to put-downs
Lindsay recommends neutral statements like I'm feeling criticized rather than accusatory reactions to avoid defensiveness.
Setting Boundaries with Emotionally Immature People
Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents provides a 5-part process outlining how to set boundaries with an Emotionally Immature Person (EIP). She also talks about how to reinforce and reset those boundaries when they aren't honored. Dr. Gibson talks about how to determine the optimal physical and psychological distance with EIPs, including examples. Dr. Gibson states what you can say when an EIP says something hurtful.
GUEST
Lindsay Gibson, PsyD.
HIGHLIGHTS
5-Part process in talking to an emotionally immature person:
1. Ask if you can have some time (10 minutes) for the person to listen to you
2. Set ground rules
a. There are some things I need to tell you
b. I'm going to tell you how I'm feeling, and I'd like for you to just listen and understand. You don' have to do anything
c. Are you willing to do this?
3. Tell them what you need to say following this format:
a. When you (example), I feel (share feeling)
4. Follow up immediately with what you would like from them
a. Would you be willing to promise me that
i. You won't use these words (examples)
ii. You will talk to me in private instead of publicly.
iii. You will say this (example) instead of that (example)
5. Would you be willing to try this for me?
GUEST BIO
Lindsay Gibson, PsyD. has been a licensed clinical psychologist for over thirty years and specializes in individual adult psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is the author of four books. Her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents remains a #1 Amazon Best Seller. The follow up to this book is Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, and the 2nd edition of her first book Who You Were Meant To Be has been recently released on Amazon. Her latest book, Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, was just released in September 2021. In the past Dr. Gibson has served as an adjunct assistant professor teaching doctoral psychology students.
PODCAST HOST
Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and she works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).
LINKS
Dr, Gibson's links
Website— http://www.drlindsaygibson.com/
Patricia's Links
HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/
Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/
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