Learning Boundaries and Saying No

In Part 2 of our conversation with author Tia Levings, we go even deeper into what it actually takes to leave a high-control Christian fundamentalist marriage and rebuild a life on the other side. Tia shares more about how religious doctrine, patriarchy, and fear were used to justify control, submission, and abuse, and how difficult it can be to recognize harm when it’s framed as God’s will or “biblical womanhood.”

We talk about spiritual abuse, domestic abuse in religious communities, and the psychological gymnastics required to survive when obedience is treated as virtue and autonomy is treated as sin. Tia unpacks the long-term impact of purity culture, religious trauma, and coercive control, especially for women and children raised inside authoritarian belief systems. We also dig into grief, anger, and the slow, radical work of reclaiming agency after leaving a marriage and a faith structure that demanded self-erasure.

As always, we look at the bigger patterns: how fundamentalist Christianity and other high-demand belief systems create conditions where abuse is normalized, victims are silenced, and leaving comes at an enormous personal cost. Tia’s voice is clear, compassionate, and unflinching—and her story is a powerful reminder that survival itself can be an act of defiance.

Paperback copies of A Well-Trained Wife are available February 20, and you can pre-order Tia’s upcoming book, I Belong to Me, coming May 5. Follow her at tialevings.com and on social media @tialevingswriter.

Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of domestic and spiritual abuse, religious trauma, and misogyny.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

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Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

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