Why repair matters more than fighting less

Falling in love can be easy. Staying connected when conflict and stress show up is where the real work begins. On this episode of The Dr. Hyman Show, I sit down with relationship repair expert Baya Voce to explore why healthy relationships aren’t defined by the absence of conflict, but by the ability to repair and reconnect—and why repair depends as much on nervous system regulation as communication. Watch the full conversation on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts. Here’s what we unpack: • Why conflict isn’t the real problem in relationships—and what actually keeps couples connected • What happens in the body during arguments, and why nervous system regulation matters more than the “right” words • How past relationship wounds and attachment patterns shape the way we react during conflict • Practical ways couples can repair after conflict and reconnect more quickly When couples learn how to repair after conflict, even difficult moments can become opportunities for deeper connection and growth. View Show Notes From This Episode

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(0:00) Falling in love vs. staying in love

(0:31) Healthy conflict and relationship dynamics

(1:22) Introduction to Baya Voce and modern relationship evolution

(3:15) High expectations and the virtual culture's impact on relationships

(8:25) The importance of relationship models and repair mechanisms

(10:12) Exploring the stages of a relationship

(18:17) Dealing with past relationship baggage

(24:08) Training the nervous system for conflict resolution

(28:26) Recognizing physiological cues in relationships

(31:05) Breathwork and physiological regulation techniques

(32:39) Psychedelic therapy's influence on relationships

(34:20) Effective listening and differentiation in partnerships

(38:10) The power of repair and accepting influence

(41:49) Fostering curiosity and perspective in understanding partners

(47:20) Setting boundaries for healthy relationships

(51:24) Embracing subjective truths within relationships

(54:42) Relationships as a means for personal growth

(57:06) Navigating the stages of relationships

(1:00:22) Exercises for building resilience in partnerships

(1:01:51) The role of honesty and weekly practices for relationship health

(1:03:25) Communication techniques for relationship maintenance

(1:04:00) Reframing relationships through growth and evolution

(1:04:56) Psychedelic-assisted couples therapy and MDMA research

(1:09:38) Enhancing relationships with meditation and psychedelics

(1:11:08) Introduction to The Repair Lab web app