Why Middle School Meanness Emerges

Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say.

In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen friend drama and give you the tools to help your kid through it.

Whether your child has been dumped by a friend group, is dealing with a mean "friend," or needs help exiting a friendship that isn't working, this “Best of Ask Lisa” episode is for you.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict in middle school, and why it matters for how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so anxious about belonging, and why some kids turn to meanness

- Why excluding and rumor-spreading are common weapons in friend group drama

- Why kids get excluded from friend groups, and how to explain it to your child in a way that helps them take it less personally

- Practical, compassionate things to say and do when your tween or teen is hurting

All full episodes featured in this compilation are linked below:

185. How Should My Son Deal with Trash-Talking Friends?

166. My Kid is Being Bullied. What Should I Do?

194. How Do I Help My Daughter Get Past an Ugly Rumor?

249. When Teasing Turns Toxic, What’s a Parent to Do?

71. My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

84. How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship?

156. Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?

98. My Friends' Kids Are Excluding My Kid. What Should I Do?

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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