Control vs. Care: The Root of Resentment

Terri emphasizes control motives, avoidance of conflict, and why gratitude can never fully repair self-abandonment.

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Are you the person everyone relies on, but no one really checks in on? In this episode, psychotherapist Terri Cole is back to break down the often-overlooked pattern of overgiving and over-functioning that can lead to burnout, resentment, and disconnection in your relationships. She shares how this shows up especially for high-achieving women who “have it all together” and why it’s so hard to recognize in yourself. We talk about how to spot the signs, the difference between caring and controlling, and the small but powerful shifts you can start making today. Get ready to stop fixing everyone else and start prioritizing yourself.

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HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 What does high-functioning codependency (HFC) look like?

06:00 Signs you might be over-functioning in your relationships.

11:30 How auto-advice giving can create resentment.

17:30 What’s the difference between compromise and self-abandonment in partnerships?

25:00 How to stop trying to control others and protect your peace.

31:45 The red flags of taking on too much emotional responsibility.

39:00 How to deal with guilt when you feel like you “should” do more.

45:00 How changing your behavior improves your relationships.

49:00 The FREE toolkit to help you start setting boundaries today!

RESOURCES

Learn more about Terri’s Free HFC Toolkit HERE