What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

The idea that our kids are colorblind, and that we therefore should put off talking to our kids about race because they’re too young to understand its complicating factors, is wrong. And mothers of color could have told us that a long time ago.As parents, we should be talking about race with our kids early and often. Dr. Erin Winkler’s work shows that when parents are silent about race with our kids, or use "colorblind" rhetoric, we may actually reinforce racial prejudice.Yes, exploring race and racism and its many implications makes many of us uncomfortable. But it may be a lot easier than we're making it, as this week's guest, Deborah Porter, explains: “You have to be able to tell the truth in an age-appropriate way. To not discuss race is not being truthful. We can be truthful with our children about what race looks like in an age-appropriate way, where for them, it's just the thing that we're talking about today."We've created a Google doc with lists and articles and videos and social media accounts that can help us all in our work of raising anti-racist kids. You can find the list at bit.ly/raisingantiracistkids. If you see other resources you'd like us to add, tag us or send us an email: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com.Here are links to writing and research on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Mellody Hobson’s TED Talk: Color Blind, or Color Brave? Dr. Erin Winkler: Children Are Not Colorblind: How Young Children Learn RaceSierra Filucci for Common Sense Media: How White Parents Can Use Media to Raise Anti-Racist Kidsprettygooddesign.org: Your Kids Aren't Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup"White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" by Peggy McIntoshMargaret Hagerman for Time: Why White Parents Need to Do More Than Talk to Their Kids About Racism Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Margaret or Amy answers one listener's most pressing question.Today Margaret answers the question, "What should I do about my kids' troublesome coping mechanisms during the coronavirus outbreak?"Submit your questions to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here comes the summer of nothing! For older kids, camps and sports leagues and internships and jobs are canceled. For little kids, even "Camp Grandma" isn't a sure thing this year.We usually look forward to summer as a lazy-living, sleep in and lie around break from our usual hectic lives. But our kids have already *had* three months of lying around doing nothing, and the thought of three more months of cranky pajama time is not reassuring.How are we going to make July different from March this year?Our guests this week are Ashley Hearon-Smith and Keri Setaro from the Momtourage podcast. We talk with Ashley and Keri about the "special hard" of each age group when you're looking at a summer calendar with basically nothing on it.No matter how old your kids are, we think the answer is pretty much the same: give your kids the gift of free play, also known as the Land On The Other Side of Boredom.Here are links to writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode:Melissa Bernstein for Thrive Global: How Screen Time is Edging Out Play Time – and Why It MattersEsther Entin for The Atlantic: All Work and No Play: Why Your Kids Are More Anxious, DepressedPeter Gray: Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life Michael E. Ruane for Washington Post: The coronavirus wrecked spring. Will it claim summer, too?Sydney Trent for Washington Post: Summer jobs for teens are scarce, but a little boredom has its benefits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers one listener's most pressing question.Today Amy answers the question, "What can I do about my toddler who is giving a hard time to my older child?"Submit your question to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s the one thing that’s actually working right now? Not grading on a curve, not a barely acceptable Band-Aid for these crazy times, but something you have found during these last months that you actually love and will totally keep doing? Our listeners told us all the things, from walking the dog to Grateful Dad cover shows, that they’re doing by themselves, with a socially distanced friend, or with a loved one at home, that are really enjoyable right now. The light-bulb moments for us in this episode were in order to have fun socially-distanced friend time, you need to have a shared secondary activity. Even if it’s a beer pong app.  in order to have renewing personal time, you need to have a fully engrossing, sensory-filling activity. Even if it’s mowing the lawn.  keep it bite-sized. We don’t have to talk to our friends for half an hour, or not at all.  What all these discoveries have in common is that it took what our listener Mollie calls “the leisure to dwell on little things” in order to find them. We love that. For that one thing, we are pretty grateful.Here are links to a few things mentioned in this episode:Nowhere Comedy ClubGrateful Dead “Dead and Company” tribute showsTableTopics "Family Gathering" topic cards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers one listener's most pressing question.This week Margaret answers the question, "What Do I Do With a Four Year Old Who is Making Bedtime Last Forever?"Send your questions to questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Potty training back-sliding? Pacifiers showing up at breakfast? Preschoolers in your bed? Tweens suddenly engaging in baby talk? Welcome to The Great Regression.It's no surprise that regressive behavior shows up in times of stress. Sometimes it's not as easy to spot, but whether it's more clingy behavior or more temper tantrums, regression is our kids' way of communicating that they are feeling insecure. As child development specialist Claire Lerner explains, "When kids feel out of control on the inside, they lose control on the outside."In this episode, we discuss how regressive behavior can manifest, including for grownups when we should let it be what works to address it, and what definitely doesn't Does it matter if your kid is still sucking her thumb in first grade because she was involved in a global pandemic? It does not. But addressing the underlying need for reassurance is the best way forward, for your kid and for you.Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Caroline Bologna for HuffPost: 10 Mental Health Signs To Watch Out For In Kids In The Age Of COVID-19Claire Lerner for Psychology Today: Regression in the Time of CoronavirusHermioni N. Lokko, MD, MPP and Theodore A. Stern, MD: Regression: Diagnosis, Evaluation, and ManagementHeather Marcoux for Motherly: Why your big kid wants to be a 'baby' right now Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're now on YouTube! Subscribe and catch our video shorts here: http://bit.ly/WFHyoutubeAfter eight weeks in this new normal, our to-do lists have started to get a little lengthy. These days, we're all full-time stay-at-home AND work-at-home moms, and while the larger world seemed willing to let things slide for a while, we're feeling a lot more pressure to actually get stuff done. How do we get to what's most important in the extremely limited bursts of kid-free productivity we might have?Our guests are Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart-Unger, co-hosts of the Best of Both Worlds podcast, on how to get more out of life at work and at home.We're featured on their podcast this week too- you can find that episode, on how to find humor in parenting right now, here!Here are links to research and ideas discussed in this episode: the concept of extinction burstsStrangers Drowning: Impossible Idealism, Drastic Choices, and the Urge to Help by Larissa MacFarquharAlice Boyce for Harvard Business Review: How Working Parents Can Let Go of PerfectionismMichaeleen Doucleff for NYT Parenting: Turn Your Demanding Child Into a Productive Co-WorkerJennifer Wallace for Washington Post's On Parenting: Life in lockdown is testing parents’ bandwidth, but there are ways to protect your mental energy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every week Margaret or Amy answers one listener's most pressing question.Today Margaret tackles the question, "Should I sleep-train my baby while we're all stuck at home?"Submit your questions to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked all of you to tell us your “mom wins” since quarantine life started- the smaller, the better. We're all taking success wherever we can find it these days.Whether it’s synchronized napping, picky eaters trying meatballs, or a 5-year-old who finally slept past 7 a.m., we salute all these successes, no matter how miniscule.Thanks to all of you for making our own mothering journeys so full of community and laughter.Happy Mother’s Day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices