What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Mirna Valerio is a runner, adventurer, speaker, and anti-racism educator. In this Fresh Take interview, Mirna tells us how she fell off the fitness wagon after becoming a mom, how that first mile went once she made herself lace up her running shoes again, and her path to becoming an endurance athlete since then. Even if we’re not all cut out to run 100 kilometers in the desert– or even want to– Mirna tells us why fitness is worth it, and how to reacquaint ourselves with fitness, no matter how long we’ve been out of the game. “I believe in having the long view. Look, I'm still a big girl. I’m going to be a big girl. But my long view, my overarching goal, is long-term health and wellness. What am I doing to put long-term health and wellness in the bank for later? What am I doing today to ensure that I have long-term health and wellness?”We also discuss how we, as women, are entitled to name what we need– and how that well-timed help, especially when we ask for it, is the very thing that will allow us to get back up and keep running.Acknowledge how you're feeling. Give yourself some grace. Start today.Find Mirna on her website: https://themirnavator.com/and at @themirnavator on Instagram and TwitterCatch Mirna’s winter workout on @thev1ve: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKCGndXj-oS/and join the Fatgirlrunning group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Fatgirlrunning-939724599403584Here are links to some of the other things we discuss in this episode:Mirna Valerio for Self: Open Letter To Women Who Aren’t Putting Their Needs Firsthttps://www.self.com/story/mirna-valerio-open-letter-to-women-who-arent-putting-their-needs-firstKate Martin at Unheard LA: The Rescuehttps://www.thekatemartin.com/storytellingCaravaggio’s Conversion on the Way to Damascus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_on_the_Way_to_Damascus* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked our listeners to tell us how life with Covid has affected their own parenting. Some of us have gotten more socially anxious; others, like the moms of kids with severe allergies, have found the isolation reassuring. Some of us have treasured the extra time with our children; others are nearing their breaking point. Some of us are stressing about the screen time; others are thrilled we’re not interrupting our kids to go to travel soccer for a change. This topic was inspired by Kristen Howerton’s essay for The New York Times, “I Hate The Mom That Covid Has Made Me.” Kristen explains how she’s become THAT mom, the kind who spies on her own teenagers and yells at them for not wearing masks. She thought she hated that kind of parent– and now it’s her. How has Covid changed your parenting? Will those changes be longer-term than this pandemic? Here are links to some things we discuss in this episode: Kristen Howerton for The New York Times: I Hate The Mom That Covid Has Made Mehttps://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/28/opinion/covid-parenting.htmlTomas Pueyo: The Hammer and the Dance https://tomaspueyo.medium.com/coronavirus-the-hammer-and-the-dance-be9337092b56Neil Kramer’s photograph series of life in quarantine: https://petapixel.com/2021/01/09/a-photographers-hilarious-photos-of-being-stuck-in-quarantine-with-ex-wife-and-mother/David Foster Wallace: This is Waterhttps://fs.blog/2012/04/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/as well as our episodes with Katherine May, author of Wintering: http://bit.ly/WFHwinteringand "What This Has Taught Us About Our Kids": http://bit.ly/WFHep162* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s question comes from Jaclyn in our Facebook group (facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast):"Would love some advice for the "monsters under the bed" phase. My three-year-old is worse than he was as a newborn, waking me up 30 times at night! If I ignore him, he will scream and cry, then come into our room. I could let him sleep with us, but he doesn't sleep well when he is in our bed, and neither do we. I tried to put a bed for him on the floor of our room, but he kept asking for more items-water, blankets, pillows, etc. Help!"In his book The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Jonathan Karp considers kids' developmental stages as a replay of humanity's evolutionary stages. A 12-18 month old is a "charming chimp-child," 18-24 months is a little Bam-Bam, and by 3 years old, kids have gotten about as sophisticated as someone alive during the Middle Ages might have been.To people alive in the Middle Ages, vampires were real. They didn't have the luxury of going to therapy to unpack what was behind their fear of someone coming to drink their blood; they put some garlic around their necks and went to bed feeling a little better about their chances of waking up in the morning.For kids who still believe in magical things as being fully possible, the best "protection" parents can offer them from something scary but imaginary might be something equally unreal and totally wonderful.For Amy's daughter, drawing a picture of her guardian angel to put next to her bad was enough to move her past her absolute certainty that Edward Scissorhands was coming to get her. All the rationalizing that Amy had tried before that faile, but to her daughter, the angel's protection was real. Instead of talking her daughter out of it, Amy found that a little "good magic" was the far more effective response.To be clear: a preschooler waking up at night that much might have something else going on, from a soaking-wet Pull-Up to something that might be worth mentioning to your pediatrician. But a spray bottle full of water, also known as No-Monsters-In-Here Magic Elixir, might be more effective than you'd think.Send us your parenting questions- we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we’re talking to Ned Johnson, co-author (with William Stixrud) of THE SELF-DRIVEN CHILD: THE SCIENCE AND SENSE OF GIVING YOUR KIDS MORE CONTROL OVER THEIR LIVES, which explores how fostering children’s autonomy can help solve two challenges seemingly endemic to kids today: handling anxiety and developing intrinsic motivation. Ned's research underlines a surprising paradox: when we try to remove stress from our children's lives by smoothing over the bumps in their paths, we inadvertently create MORE stress for our children. As Ned explains:“A sense of control strengthens the regulation of the amygdala. It is by successfully handling stressful situations in a supportive environment that kids develop strong stress tolerance and resilience."In this episode we discuss how one's levels of stress are affected by novelty, unpredictability, and our overall sense of control the difference between "tolerable stress" and toxic stress how to be "homework consultants" for our kids without controlling the outcome why "radical downtime" is so crucial for kids' development Not sure when you should back off, or not? Here's Ned's overall takeaway:"When we talk about kids having a sense of control, it's not that we want to put a toddler in charge of the household, or tell her "you've got to go hunt for your own food" or something. It's simply that we don't want to do for kids that which they can do for themselves."The Self-Driven Child is available from our What Fresh Hell Bookshop page: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780735222526* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we bring a hopeful message from your parenting future: it gets easier.Our listener Kristen went on our Facebook group page with this challenge:The second part of your life begins when your kids can get dressed to go outside in the snow by themselves and play out there without adult supervision. What's your version of “the second part of your life begins…”? In this episode, we talk about when your life of pre-parenting ease comes back into focus.Is it when your kids can go upstairs, take a shower, and put on their own pajamas? Or when you no longer have to push the swing at the playground? Or when they can navigate a flight of stairs safely?Or when they can turn on a screen at 6:30 a.m. without waking you? The answer to all of the above is YES. And we celebrate them all.In this episode, Amy mentions the study "Car Seats as Contraception," and Margaret touts these disposable vomit bags for the carsick kiddos:https://amzn.to/38PHMKUIt’s a new year! What better way to start it off than by making sure your kids (and therefore, YOU) are getting more sleep? Make bedtime less stressful with soothing bedtime audio stories set in the magical, moonlit world of Moshi. The Moshi app features hours of bedtime “stories" created by an award-winning team of writers and composers. Download the Moshi app on Apple’s App Store or Google Play Store, and you’ll get access to a 1-week free trial of Moshi Premium, so you can try Moshi Sleep for your family.  * Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's question comes from Elizabeth:How do you address sneakiness? Having some trouble with rule-breaking lately. Things that are not totally off-limits but do have limits, like candy or screens, are appearing in bedrooms after the adults go to sleep. It's driving me batty and I'd appreciate any advice!Sneakiness in our kids can really set us off as parents. The idea that our children would directly defy our carefully established rules is often really upsetting.The good news? Our kids, especially when they are young, tend to be really, really bad at being sneaky. This means that we're going to discover the wrappers or the left-behind screens they've been attempting to hide pretty much every time.So how do we react?Margaret suggests a three-step approach: React calmly. Don't give your kiddo the satisfaction of seeing you blow your top. Offer an alternative. ("If you are hungry at night, let's start having something right before bed.") Respond with consistent consequences. ("Every time I find a screen upstairs in your room, you will have no screens at all the following day.") By taking the emotion out of your interaction, and giving your kids consistent negative outcomes, you'll remind them of the boundaries that exist, and make the sneakiness and boundary-testing less interesting.Send us your parenting questions- we might answer yours next!Email us- questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com. * Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

2020: seriously, you guys. What was THAT?In this episode we look back at a very problematic year, and toast our survival as we acknowledge our many struggles. We review what we've learned/ hope to learn/ hope to one day never ever think about again.We also discuss what we learned from some of our favorite episodes of 2020, and have gathered them in a playlist here:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4UCfa2pUXKYB653bJVcKsOWe also give special thanks to those who work behind the scenes to make this show possible:editor Christy Haussler of Team Podcast: https://www.teampodcast.com/producer Sarah Levithansocial media support from Christina Hart: https://www.instagram.com/itschristinahart/branding by Jake Lang Digital: https://www.jakelangdigital.com/servicescartoon logo by Emily Pelton: https://emilypelton87.wixsite.com/emilypelton* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After four years of doing this podcast, we know a lot about each other. In this episode, we ask the burning questions that remain, like:If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?Who is your celebrity crush? (warning: #oldilocksalert)What was your worst job ever?What do you, in 2020, want to be when you grow up?What would you grab in a fire?We also mention a few of our favorite books, all of which are always available in our Bookshop store:https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcast* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast * Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast * Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast * Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast * questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s question comes from Sarah: My 22-month-old daughter is an infrequent pooper. She regularly goes 3-5 days between bowel movements, but recently she's started holding it. She's been sitting on the potty to pee for the last month or two, but she'll jump up and say, "no!" when she feels a bowel movement. This means that when she does finally go, it’s… a lot. She had a bit of diarrhea a few months ago and got a rash, so maybe she's remembering that it hurt? We praise her whether she poops in the potty or in her diaper, but she gets distraught when she goes in her diaper. Sometimes she holds onto us and cries. The few times she's gone in the potty, she seems less upset, but you can tell she doesn't like going. We don’t think this is a constipation issue. I am immensely anxious about this and worry that my anxiety is rubbing off on her. I'm constantly keeping track of the last time she pooped and wondering whether she needs prunes/Restoralax to help her go. These things have helped in the past, but I know they're not addressing the issue of her not wanting to go. How can we help her feel better about pooping without making it too big of a deal? We talk about how everybody poops and that it's okay to go, but I'm not sure that's helping. I keep trying to tell myself that this is a phase she'll grow out of, but it's hard to see past the worry of whether she's going to poop this week when you're in the middle of it. Thanks for any advice you may have!This is almost always a phase– but one toddlers need a little help with, especially if it's distressing them or causing them discomfort. Keep in mind that while some kids are ready to start potty-training before their second birthday, others are not ready for another year or more. (Ask me how I know.) It's also common to have a kid who pees on the potty without a problem, but finds pooping more difficult.Sarah's overall instinct is right: if you have a reluctant pooper, you need to make it less of a big deal. Turn down the focus on the potty-training until things are a little easier. Praise sitting on the potty itself, the act of sitting and being patient, instead of the results that may or may not occur. And don't force it if your child isn't ready.If pooping does happen in a diaper, make sure that's not being perceived as a "less-than" outcome by your toddler. Pooping in a diaper is definitely better than not pooping at all!Keep the prunes going (we called them "giant raisins" in our house) and make sure your child is getting plenty of fluids. Ask your pediatrician before supplementing with fiber– if your kid is already backed up, it might be counterproductive. And make sure to mention diarrhea or soiling to your pediatrician as well- it can be something called "encopresis," which is a paradoxical symptom of severe constipation.Finally, this list of potty-encouraging books from kindercare.com has all the classics. Make storytime part of potty-sitting, and pretend that what else is happening is so "regular" that it's not a big deal.https://www.kindercare.com/content-hub/articles/2017/june/poop-and-pee-on-every-page-8-adorable-pottytraining-books-to-read-with-your-kidsSend us your parenting questions- we might answer yours next!Email us- questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This topic came from Bradie on our Facebook page, who asked:What is one simple, basic, Christmas tradition that your family has? Don't come at me with baking gingerbread houses or cutting down your Christmas tree. I'm talking things like a favorite meal, the order and manner in which you open presents, a book you always read. Standards are low over here, people. Don't we all deserve an easy holiday season this year? This episode is full of ideas for wrapping gifts (and other things), easy cookie recipes, and more. These ideas are Christmas-based, although holiday lights and red flannel jammies probably have pagan roots anyhow, so come one come all!Two main takeaways for your holiday season:  When in doubt, add hot cocoa. Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor. Here are links to some Christmas favorites discussed in this episode:saltine toffee cookies: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/11376/saltine-toffee-cookies/Rachael Ray's Christmas pasta: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/christmas-pasta-recipe-2013437"Christmas Island": https://open.spotify.com/album/3GK2W9eAOQ6585VCGKvKkh?highlight=spotify:track:4y8qmJFYisrLsWzfOjNbxiand the new-to-us Christmas pickle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_pickle* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app! * Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices