What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away. In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to ⁠whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm⁠ to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Diana Kwon for Scientific American: ⁠"Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"⁠ Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: ⁠"People systematically overlook subtractive changes"⁠ Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract Anthony Sanni: ⁠Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity⁠ ⁠Braess's paradox⁠ Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: ⁠"Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"⁠ ⁠SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz⁠ Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell ⁠Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun⁠ ⁠THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Margaret sits down with Suzanne Warye—sobriety influencer, host of The Sober Mom Life podcast, and author of the new book THE SOBER SHIFT. Suzanne shares her story of walking away from alcohol, the truth about moderation, the concept of gray area drinking, and why sobriety can feel like abundance, not deprivation. Together, they explore how alcohol affects motherhood, anxiety, and identity, and how community can make the journey toward alcohol-free living possible. Suzanne also discusses the cultural forces targeting moms with “mommy wine culture,” the neuroscience behind alcohol and anxiety, and how embracing sobriety allows for more presence, joy, and connection. Here's where you can find Suzanne: @suzannewarye on IG https://suzannewarye.com Listen to the Sober Mom Life podcast Buy THE SOBER SHIFT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063437616 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. sobriety, Suzanne Warye, The Sober Shift, Sober Mom Life, alcohol-free living, gray area drinking, mommy wine culture, sober curious, sobriety influencer, alcohol and anxiety, motherhood and sobriety, women and drinking, quitting alcohol, sober community Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your kid extremely resistant to the simplest of requests? Or completely impossible to wake up in the morning? Or sure their peers don't like them, despite pretty clear evidence to the contrary? All of these are extremely typical kid behaviors. All of these also have more intense manifestations—PDA, DSWPD, and RSD, respectively— which meet clinical definitions and which may require more concrete support, for both you and your kid. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss the amorphous lines that often exist between typical child behavior and an issue that may need more attention and scaffolding. From afterschool restraint collapse to ARFID, Amy and Margaret explore the moments when everyday challenges start to interfere with family life, friendships, or school—and what parents can do to respond from a place of understanding and clarity. You’ll learn: How certain behaviors can sometimes point to larger patterns. The value of having names for behaviors—reducing shame, guiding next steps, and helping parents advocate for their kids. Practical strategies parents can use at home to reduce stress, manage transitions, and support kids in ways that actually work. If you’ve ever wondered, is this typical, or is it more?—this episode is for you. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH parenting podcast, kids behavior issues, child tantrums, picky eating help, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, ARFID in kids, pathological demand avoidance, delayed sleep wake phase disorder, typical vs atypical child behavior, parenting strategies for behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A recent report found that the division of home responsibilities is still grossly unequal. Mothers—whether they are married or single—do significantly more than fathers. In fact, the ⁠“The Free-Time Gender Gap” ⁠report found that “simply being a woman is linked to spending more time on unpaid childcare and household work, and having less free time, even when controlling for age, income, race/ ethnicity, parental status, and marital status." What does it mean for women to have less free time, and how can we keep working to close the gender gap? Amy and Margaret discuss: The differences in socialization between men and women when it comes to our living spaces How time inequality serves to further reinforce and perpetuate gender inequality How "secondary childcare" factors into the free-time gender gap Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Natalia Vega Varela, and Leyly Moridi ⁠“The Free-Time Gender Gap: How Unpaid Care and Household Labor Reinforces Women’s Inequality,”⁠ Gender Equity Policy Institute, October 2024. Allison Daminger for the American Sociological Review: ⁠De-gendered Processes, Gendered Outcomes: How Egalitarian Couples Make Sense of Non-egalitarian Household Practices⁠ Anne Helen Petersen on Substack: ⁠What Makes Women Clean⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when you finally, as an adult, understand for the first time that your brain has been wired differently all along? Writer and mother Carla Ciccone joins Amy and Margaret to discuss her memoir NOWHERE GIRL: Life as a Member of ADHD’s Lost Generation. Together, they explore how ADHD in women often presents differently than the “hyperactive little boy” stereotype, and the lasting impact on many adult women with ADHD of having been undiagnosed for decades. Carla shares her journey through shame, perfectionism, and masking—and how diagnosis and self-acceptance have reshaped her life as both a woman and a mother. Key Topics Covered: Why ADHD in women is historically underdiagnosed Rejection sensitivity dysphoria and imposter syndrome Raising children with ADHD as a parent with ADHD If you’ve ever wondered why ADHD feels different for women—or why so many are diagnosed later in life—this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and community. Carla’s story will resonate with anyone navigating motherhood, identity, and the struggle to stop “performing life” and start living authentically. Here's where you can find Carla: www.carlaciccone.com @cciccone on IG Buy NOWHERE GIRL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593729519 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ADHD in women, late ADHD diagnosis, inattentive ADHD, hyperactive ADHD, ADHD masking, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, imposter syndrome ADHD, ADHD perfectionism, motherhood and ADHD, Carla Ciccone, Nowhere Girl memoir, ADHD and generational trauma, parenting with ADHD, ADHD emotional regulation, underdiagnosed ADHD in women Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From road trips to reclaim lost lovies to birthday extravaganzas with six-month planning windows, parents will do just about anything for their kids. Amy and Margaret share listener stories—and their own—about the wildest, weirdest, and most over-the-top lengths we have all gone to make their kids happy. Read the saga of the missing Tortellini We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Margaret Ables, Amy Wilson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We've all felt the guilt that comes with taking time away from our kids to do something we enjoy. But if we're always being told how liberating it is to do things for ourselves, why do we have such complicated feelings about? Dr. Amber Thornton tells us how we can successfully balance our lives both as women and as mothers. ⁠Dr. Amber Thornton⁠ is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Millennial Motherhood Wellness Coach. She is the Founder of Balanced Working Mama, with a mission to completely change the narrative of what is possible for millennial mothers by helping them to better balance work, motherhood, and wellness. She's also the host of the ⁠BALANCED WORKING MAMA podcast⁠. Dr. Amber resides in Washington, D.C., with her husband and 2 little ones.  Dr. Amber, Margaret, and Amy discuss: What it means to set a boundary successfully What's really behind mom guilt The perils of secondary expectations It's important to remember that our feelings about our situation don't necessarily reflect the reality that's happening around us. Our guilt about taking time for ourselves as mothers is a commentary on the society we live in, not our actual abilities as parents. Here's where you can find Amber: ⁠www.balancedworkingmama.com⁠ @dramberthornton on IG/FB/YT/TikTok @balancedworkingmama on IG Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Joshua Ziesel for The Washington Post: ⁠"I wanted to be a better husband. So I planned my kid's birthday party."⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠⁠⁠⁠invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do women balance being both effective and likable? It shouldn't be ours to manage, and yet it is. This week Margaret and Amy talk with Dr. Kate Mason, communications coach and author of POWERFULLY LIKABLE: A Woman’s Guide to Effective Communication. What you'll learn in this episode: Why women often feel trapped between being “powerful” or “likable” The cultural roots of authority and expertise—and how they still affect women today The difference between agreeability and likability What “imposing syndrome” is and how to overcome it Why naming your “non-goals” can bring more freedom and focus How to raise kids who see power and likability as compatible Find Dr. Kate Mason at katemason.co Buy POWERFULLY LIKABLE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593797204 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ women communication strategies, powerful and likable, Kate Mason interview, effective communication tips, impostor syndrome vs imposing syndrome, agreeability vs likability, motherhood and communication, women leadership balance, power as a verb, parenting and communication Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have female friendships become more complicated than they need to be? Amy and Margaret dig into the dynamics of their own female-female friendships and what the research says: why some friendships last decades, why others drift apart, and why friendship “breakup texts” have become a thing. In this episode you'll learn: Why women expect more intimacy and reciprocity from friends than men do Why conflict styles play a big role in how friendships evolve The six categories of friendship that women and men look for, but with different priorities How to reconnect with old friends (without the awkwardness) Why it’s okay for different friends to meet different needs Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Olga Khazan for The Atlantic: Why Do We Break Up With Friends? Emine Saner for The Guardian: Drifting away from your friends? Here are 10 questions to bring you closer Heather Havrilesky for The Cut: Why Do My Friendships Always Fade Away? Lilly Dancyger for Elle Magazine: We Need to Talk About Our Ex-Best Friends Fresh Take: Kat Vellos On Friendship and Connection Leigh E. Elkin and Christopher Peterson for Sex Roles Journal: Gender Differences in Best Friendships Dr. Jeffrey Hall et. al for The Journal of Personal and Social Relationships: Friendship standards: The dimensions of ideal expectations Michelle Ellman: BAD FRIEND Fresh Take: Norah Lally We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH female friendships, friendship breakups, adult friendships, friendship drama, friendship conflict, why friendships end, complicated friendships, friendship boundaries, friendship vs marriage, friendship stereotypes, friendship expectations, male vs female friendships, how to reconnect with friends, friendship advice for moms, low-conflict friendships, friendship categories research, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for ⁠Care.com⁠, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services. Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of ⁠Mother Honestly⁠, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace. Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research study between Care.com and Mother Honestly that assesses how remote work truly impacts working families at work and at home. The findings of that study have just been published as ⁠The Modern Workplace Report. ⁠ Natalie and Blessing explain: How remote work makes employees more productive and parents more involved How remote work has changed gender roles in the home How employers can implement effective remote work policies Here's where you can find Natalie and Blessing: www.care.com www.motherhonestly.com @caredotcom on IG/FB/X @mhworklife on IG/X ⁠Read The Modern Workplace Report⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices