What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

“God never gives you more than you can handle.” “Look on the bright side.” “It could be worse.” These are platitudes we’ve all heard and we all know are (to say the least) less than helpful.So why do so many of us feel a need to put a good spin on things when disaster strikes, and how do we break out of that habit? We talk about our own experiences with toxic positivity, what we’ve learned from them, and what we’re still working on.In this episode, we discuss:·      How overvaluing positives functions as a survival mechanism·      Why toxic positivity actually makes us less happy·      How to counter toxic positivity and how to stay graceful towards people who offer us outlooks we may not want or needHere are links to some of the articles we discuss in this episode:Brock Bastian and Ashley Humphrey for The Conversation: “How to avoid ‘toxic positivity’ and take the less direct route to happiness”Allyson Chiu for The Washington Post : Time to ditch ‘toxic positivity,’ experts say: ‘It’s okay not to be okay’Elizabeth Bernstein for The Wall Street Journal : Toxic Positivity Is Very Real, and Very AnnoyingLinks to other episodes that mention toxic positivity: Fresh Take: Kate Bowler on the Truths We Need To HearFresh Take: Taylor Harris on Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the UnknownSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Water + soap + wriggly bodies = a giant puddle on the bathroom floor! And that's when the kids LIKE taking baths. What if they absolutely dread it?This this week's question comes from Lauren on our Facebook page:Tips for a 4 year old who legit PANICS about getting his hair washed. How can we make this better? At this point we are washing his hair like once a month because it’s so bad. It seems like he will randomly be somewhat ok with it, but 99% of the time he panic-screams and it’s really sad. I have a dry wash cloth so that he can keep the water out of his face, and I try to have him too his head back so the water won’t get in his face, but he still flips out. My husband thinks that we need to wash his hair MORE frequently - like every other day - so that it doesn’t seem like such an unusual event and will become part of his routine. Thoughts?When you've got a kid who hates bath time it's time to put on your detective hat. What is it about the bath that your kid is reacting to? The smell of the shampoo? Getting water dumped on their head? Being tipped backward?Have conversations with your kid in and out of the tub about what is making bath time hard and then make adjustments (for example, a strong grip on your child's shoulder may ease their fear of tipping backwards) and soon you'll be able to say - bath time? Solved it!Margaret cites this article by Alisha Grogan for yourkidstable.com Here's a Method to Help Kids That Hate Hair Washing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Abby Medcalf is the author of the #1 Amazon best-seller, “Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing,” and the host of the “Relationships Made Easy” Podcast. She talks in this Fresh Take about how competition mindsets damage relationships and what couples can do instead to be successful partners and co-parents.In this episode , Abby explains: What it really means for your partner to 'take something off your plate' Why grading your spouse on a pass/fail basis may not be the best approach How treating your partnership like a business can help marital communication Here are some of the resources from Abby's website that she mentions in this episode:One big reason why keeping score sets you both up to lose in the relationship 4 ways keeping score in your relationship is setting you up to loseHow competition stops you from listening and forming connection Follow Abby on social media: https://abbymedcalf.com/IG: @abbymedcalfthrivingFB: @abbymedcalfTwitter: @AbbyThriving#relationshipsmadeeasySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"My kid says she's dating someone, and she's 9!" Before you send in the cavalry, take a second to learn about all of the different ways kids express affection for one another and how to talk to them about it. We may want to learn the income, prospects, and favorite color of the crush in question, but sometimes it really is okay for kids to have secrets and feel independent in that regard.In this episode, we discuss: How to talk to your kid respectfully about their crushes How to spot signs that your kid has a crush/is dating What "dating" means at different ages Here are some links to the resources we discuss in this episode: Adrienne Wichard-Edds for the Washington Post: Why You Should Permit and Encourage Your Teen to DateDian Cheney for Good Housekeeping: So Your Teen is Dating--Now What?Bonnie J. Rough for the New York Times: The Value of Childhood CrushesSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here at What Fresh Hell we say there's no reason for anyone to comment on another person's size in a conversational setting. Ever. Including women who are (or who might appear) pregnant, and also including babies and kids who might appear either small or big for their chronological age.The latter is a course correction a lot of us might need to consider. What's the harm in saying a sweet little girl is teensy-tiny? Well, read the question of the week:My daughter is five, but the size of a three-year-old. She's teeny-tiny. How do you deal with other adults' comments about your child’s size? It’s infuriating to me that adults cannot stop making comments, from taxi drivers to her classmates' parents. It’s never other kids, at least not yet. I usually just acknowledge how old she is and try to shut down the conversation, but I’d love a really good comeback to make them realize that commenting on children’s bodies is never a good idea! Something else to note: I actually am concerned about her size, and we are going to the endocrinologist next month. All these comments just add to my anxiety. But there’s a good chance this is just who my daughter is!In this episode, Amy gives this listener ideas of what to say both when her daughter is present for these comments, and when she isn't; plus how best to react when it's a stranger saying these things, versus a grandparent or teacher or other adult your child might see more frequently.These comments might not have hurtful intent behind them; we'd argue they usually don't. But they're still insensitive, and if the parent in this situation can react with honesty and a bit of grace, it might just result in a teachable moment that will have that person behave differently next time.Amy references @feedinglittles on Instagram as a great resource for what to say in these moments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sara Dean is the host of The Shameless Mom Academy podcast, which inspires women and moms to live bigger, bolder, and braver #everydamnday.In this episode, we discuss how to turn our struggles into strengths why self-care is a basic human need how to "play bigger" and be a leader in your life, even when you are home with kids Connect with Sara at www.shamelessmom.comin her Facebook Group: www.shamelessmom.com/facebookand on Instagram: www.instagram.com/shamelessmomacademySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it rational to still be mad about that time in second grade when the kid right in front of you took the last sprinkles at the ice cream social?Is it reasonable to think just a little less of your childhood friend for serving Chex Mix at his wedding?Ours is not to reason why. This episode isn't here to tell you whether you all should be maintaining these grudges so carefully. It's here to hold space for them all. Stay angry, Hellions!Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listeners have been discussing their trips to Disney World on the What Fresh Hell Facebook Group, and Jillian posed this question:"I’d love to hear a Disney episode: if you’ve been, if you are Disney people who go frequently, or are you a one and done type or a 'that’s a hard no' type?"Good timing! Margaret recently took her family for their "one and done" trip to Disney World.The biggest takeaway? Save early and save often for your Disney trip. Disney is one of those places where the more you spend the better your experience... and also one of those places where just when you think you're finished spending money, it's time to spend more money!Margaret and her family invested in the Genie+ Pass which saved them lots of long wait times. The pass is great for skipping lines, but it activates at 7 a.m., so be ready to set your alarm for 6:30 and be poised with your finger over the app. (And to access your inner zen when it's overloaded and you can't get in!)Margaret worked with a Disney Travel Planner and stayed at the The Boardwalk Inn. Staying in a Disney property meant early access to the parks (great for getting on popular rides like "Rise of the Resistance" first thing in the morning) and was great because there were lots of activities for the kids. including a nightly outdoor movie showing.Overall Margaret highly recommends a Disney World vacation– as long as you keep in mind that as vacations go, it's not that relaxing. Using the Genie+ app means early wake ups every day, and there's so much walking.But even for a Disney skeptic like Margaret the week was hectic but magical... which means her family may not be "one and done" after all! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our society connects thin bodies not just with better health, but with greater happiness. And many of us have been duped into believing that the rewards of eternal thinness are available to anyone who "eats right" and tries hard enough. But teaching our children "intuitive eating" suggests a different path: putting our kids' relationship with food and their bodies and their mental health on the front burner, and appearance and weight on the back.Amee Severson is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who identifies as queer and nonbinary. Her work focuses on body positivity, fat acceptance, and providing safe and inclusive care for the LGBTQ+ community. Amee is the co-author of the new book How to Raise an Intuitive Eater: Raising the Next Generation with Food and Body Confidence.In this epsiode, Amee explains why the well-meaning strategies of concerned parents around food and weight usually end up backfiring how raising kids who eat intuitively means engaging with the complicated messages around food or dieting that we may have ourselves received the "three keys" for embracing a new path toward intuitive eating for our families Intuitive eating is definitely a back-to-one sort of thing, a resetting of expectations that we need to revisit often. But here's why that work is worth it: our kids deserve to feel lovable, worthy, and accepted, no matter what their bodies look like. Find HOW TO RAISE AN INTUITIVE EATER in our Bookshop store!Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We know we have to be our kids’ soft place to fall. We understand why they absolutely fall apart after a long day at school. But does it really have to be Mom who always gets the worst of it? Our listener Michelle wrote in to say:I have been pondering something I call the "Safe Space Paradox,” or why children behave so differently around their primary caregiver. I am repeatedly told by grandparents, teachers, my husband, that my children were "perfect angels" for them. And yet the minute I open the door it is a cue for my children to resume the whining, fighting, and crying. I understand this is because of the deep emotional connection children form with their primary caregiver. But is there any research on ways to actually improve this? Or that I can actually enjoy this precious side of my children?In this episode, we discuss why kids really do save their worst behavior for us (and why we're part of the reason that can happen) how hard it can be to feel like the dirty hand towel for everyone's bad feelings strategies that work (a little) to help out-of-control kids contain their large feelings For more on "after school restraint collapse," check out our episode "Why 5 to 8 p.m. Is The Worst: How To Handle the After-School Crankies"Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Lauren Cahn for Reader's Digest: Here’s Why Kids Behave So Much Worse Around Their ParentsFern Weis for Motherly: The real reason your kids act worse for you than anyone else—and how to helpBeth Shaw for Psychology Today: When Trauma Gets Stuck in the BodySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors: Betabrand has reinvented comfort and style with their dress yoga pants, and we love ours! Get 30% off your first order when you go to Betabrand.com/LAUGHING.Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!Home.Made. Podcast is a terrific new podcast offering stories about the meaning of home in America. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!flowkey lets you learn piano at your own pace. Go to flowkey.com/whatfreshhell to receive 7 days of flowkey Premium for free and 20% off an annual subscription. Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants -- or else you don't pay! Upgrade your job post with a $75 sponsored job credit through March 31st at indeed.com/laughing.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun. Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically-proven feminine moisture formula. Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH10 to get 10% off.Native products keep you feeling and smelling fresh. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com/fresh or by using the promo code FRESH.Parade underwear and loungewear are sustainable, size-inclusive, comfortable and fantastic! Go to Parade.com/Laughing and use the code LAUGHING for 20% off your first order. Peloton has a workout for every goal, day, and mood: everything from boxing and dance cardio to yoga and meditation. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more.Prose now makes supplements personally tailored to address your specific cause of hair shedding. Get your free in-depth consultation and 15% off your custom hair supplements at prose.com/laughing. School Toolbox makes shopping for school supplies for your kids easier– and also creates fundraising opportunities for your school! Find out more at schooltoolbox.com/whatfreshhell.Thrive Causemetics high-performing beauty and skin-care products are made with clean, skin-loving ingredients. Get 15% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/whatfreshhell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices