What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Have you and your spouse slipped into "angry partners at the 24/7 daycare" mode since your baby was born? Here's why relationships change after kids, and some real solutions that can help us get through it.Amy and Margaret discuss: The number-one reason relationships change after a baby is born Helpful perspectives for maintaining sanity during early parenthood Small steps for building back connection with your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jessica Grose for the NYT: Fighting Constantly after Baby? Read This Doss BD, et al. The Effect of the Transition to Parenthood on Relationship Quality: An Eight-Year Prospective Study. Alex Vance for Verywell Family: 4 Ways To Focus On Your Relationship When the Kids Keep You Busy Jessica Grose for the NYT: Bickering More After Kids? Learn how to avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. Christina Caron for the NYT: How to Reconnect with Your Partner After Kids Judd Apatow: "Who Slept Worse?" Check out all of the amazing shows in the Adalyst Media podcast network! If you love What Fresh Hell, you'll love our network of sister podcasts.We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This one is about the "holiday creep" which, if you're reading this, has already begun..."Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year.Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone!Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Anne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays" Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree" Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What can we do when life seems to be falling down around our ears? Nicole Walters, author of the new book NOTHING IS MISSING: A MEMOIR OF LIVING BOLDLY, explains how to create our own fresh starts‒ and the joy that accompanies them.Nicole Walters is the host of "The Nicole Walters Podcast", a motivational speaker, and the mother of three adopted daughters.Nicole, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to pour into your community with gentleness, grace and honesty How "fresh starts" can help you take control of your life  Why vulnerability is essential to connection Here's where you can find Nicole: https://nicolewalters.com @nicolewalters (IG) @MonetizeThyself (FB) Listen to the Nicole Walters podcast Buy NOTHING IS MISSING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668000953 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here.This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting this episode from 2021. When a parent first hears about highly sensitive kids– or their opposite, sensory seekers– it can provide a profound moment of recognition, of connecting the dots for things about our kids that up until now have baffled us.We think understanding these sensory tendencies can help us parent our kids more effectively and compassionately. Not every kid who shows hyper- or hypo-sensitivity will go on to require occupational therapy, struggle in school, or anything else. But as childmind.org explains, ""These problems can be tough on kids, and get in the way of them functioning effectively, learning, and making friends."Every kid who displays these behaviors and preferences can benefit from a parent who understands and can therefore effectively support and address for the otherwise confusing behaviors that might ensue. We don't have to accommodate every dictate of an extremely picky eater, or messy playroom caused by a sensory seeker– but it's worth exploring, because it can really help us as parents to understand where these things might be coming from.Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: This image from Miracle Maker Mom Michael Rosenthal, PhD for the Child Mind Institute: Sensory Processing FAQ Amanda Morin for understood.org: Sensory seeking and sensory avoiding: What you need to know We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for "What Fresh Hell + " to get every one of our episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps: $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. There are some things in life that sound more fun in the planning stage than they are in the execution, and those things are statistically proven to be done more frequently by parents. We asked our listeners to tell us their lists of things that should be fun, but aren't. As the record will show, our listeners are sadly, completely correct. Don't say you weren't warned.Here's the link to the episode of The Mom Hour episode a few of our listeners mentioned: We Hate Fun! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What can we do to foster relationships between our kids and their grandparents? A listener in our Facebook group asked:"A question for those of you sandwiched between kiddos and elders in your home. How do you encourage interaction between the two ends of the spectrum? Our elder is old-school and equates time with our kiddo as a time to treat them with food and gifts. How do you support this relationship?"It's important to realize that in any interaction that you are trying to foster, that you don't have a tremendous amount of control, Margaret says.That being said, you can lay out guidelines and be very clear that, for example, "we only eat between these hours and this hour, and this is how we approach this kind of food. And so please limit the amount of treats you give my kid to one a day." You can go over this boundary with your kid as well.If your child has overlapping interests with any of their grandparents, that's a great place to start. You can also direct your child to talk to their grandparents if they express curiosity about a topic or time period they're familiar with. It can also go the other way, in that you can suggest a grandparent play a game or engage in an activity that your child is passionate about.Ultimately, you are a facilitator, not a controller, and you can't dictate the relationship between your child and their grandparents, but you can keep offering up opportunities for connection.Here's the article Margaret references in the episode: Susan Adcox for VeryWell Family: 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild ClosenessSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if leadership wasn't about being in charge, but about serving others? Mother Gopi Gita, is the founder of Leadership Parenting and Vice Principal at TKG Academy, an independent private school in Dallas, Texas.She's also the author of LEADERSHIP PARENTING, in which she defines leadership as "serving others with collaborative decision-making." That goes for parents and kids both! In this interview, Mother Gopi and Amy discuss: The three guiding principles for leadership parenting How to know when our child's "connection needs" are being met How to turn defiance into loving conversation Here's where you can find Mother Gopi: www.gopigita.com @leadershipparenting on IG Buy LEADERSHIP PARENTING: https://gopigita.com/new-book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here.This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode from 2022, "When the World Moves Too Fast for Our Kids." When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longer?Amy and Margaret discuss: why it's good to have "young" kids when to rescue, and when to leave them alone how to make our own homes safe havens for our kids to be exactly who they are Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Camille Noe Pagán for WebMD: "Is It Immaturity or ADHD?" Alloprof Parents: "5 ways to support an immature first grader" PsychCentral: "The Effects of Trauma from Growing up Too Fast" Amy Norton for CBS News: "Why today's teens are growing up more slowly than they used to" Katie Bishop for BBC: "Kids getting older younger: Are children growing up too fast?" Steven Richfield for HealthyPlace: "Coaching The Emotionally Immature Middle Schooler" Julie Rawe for Understood: "Why some kids seem immature compared to other kids their age" Dr. Tori Cordiano for Your Teen Magazine: "My Daughter Is Immature and She’s Annoying Her Friends" Jessica Lahey for Your Teen Magazine: "Understanding Changing Middle School Friendships" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. Makes sense, but is it the number-one secret to our kids' future happiness and success? Is fixed mindset a death knell for our children's potential?Amy and Margaret discuss: The current controversy in academia about whether "growth mindset" has been over-emphasized Why it's important to praise our kids' efforts, more than those efforts' outcomes How to foster growth mindset in our kids (hint: it's by example) Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Melinda Wenner Moyer: Is Growth Mindset a Sham? Melinda Wenner Moyer: The Nitty Gritty of Growth Mindset Carol S. Dweck: Mindset Dweck, Carol et al: Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance Macnamara, B. N., & Burgoyne, A. P: Do growth mindset interventions impact students’ academic achievement? A systematic review and meta-analysis with recommendations for best practices. Burnette, J. L., et al: A systematic review and meta-analysis of growth mindset interventions: For whom, how, and why might such interventions work? See Eva DeVirgilis's one-woman show, "In My Chair" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is fifth grade way more complicated than it used to be? A listener wrote in to ask:"Is it just me or is 5th grade rough? Is it just my 5th grader and his classmates, or are others experiencing this too? Weird friend drama, lots of emotions, being teased (but in a friendly way?)... It’s a lot. Please tell me I’m not alone!"The average 5th grader is in the 10- to 11-year-old range, and as Vanessa Kroll Bennett and Dr. Cara Natterson recently explained to us, that's become a reasonable age for puberty to begin. (Listen to our Fresh Take with them here.) So it's no wonder that some of them are feeling big emotions, or having sudden drama with the same friends they've had since kindergarten.Even though we may want to Mama Bear the situation and fix everything that's wrong, it's developmentally appropriate for kids of this age to experience discomfort of a social, mental, and yes, physical, nature.The best thing you can do is make your home a safe space for whatever emotions your child is feeling about all of this upheaval. If it seems like they're handling it, you can take a back seat. If they're really asking for your help, that's your cue to get more involved. But if you're not hearing as much as you used to about school and friends from your kid, remember that that's also normal for this age and stage.Here are two more of our Fresh Takes you may find helpful on this topic: Dr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers!For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices