Bare Marriage

They dismantle shaky research and selective storytelling that misframe male and female libido. They probe how mental load, relationship strain, and evangelical norms suppress partner-specific desire. They call out omitted issues like pain and coercion and challenge patronizing advice about beauty, affirmation, and male entitlement. The conversation reframes libido as dynamic and relational, not scripted.

They dismantle For Men Only, calling out shaky research, sweeping gender stereotypes, and patronizing language. They share a personal story where book-driven advice backfired early in marriage. They praise the book's take on mental load but criticize its token solutions. They argue for nuanced, evidence-informed approaches that prioritize shared responsibility and real behavioral change.

Send us Fan MailTia Levings is back, and this time she's brought the book so many of you have been waiting for — I Belong to Me, a survivor's guide to recovery and hope after religious trauma, and the follow-up to her memoir A Well-Trained Wife.After thousands of women slid into her DMs asking how did you heal, how do I find myself again, Tia sat down and wrote the guide she wished she'd had. In this conversation, we get into what religious trauma actually is and why therapists are only now starting to name it, how spiritual bypassing uses faith language to invalidate your pain, and why the period right after you leave a high-control church or marriage is actually when you're most vulnerable — not most free. We also talk about why your voice and your sexuality are twin wounds that heal together, how to start building boundaries when you've never been allowed to have any, and why real recovery eventually means sitting with your own complicity — not to shame yourself, but to finally choose something different. If you've ever wondered was what I went through actually trauma, and can I actually heal from it — this episode is for you.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: I Belong to Me by Tia Levings — Release Date: May 5th — Pre-Order Now!Listen to Tia's first episode with us on her book The Well Trained WifeSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

They unpack how cultural and religious messages place the mental and emotional burden of sex mostly on women. They examine expectations around appearance, contraception, fertility tracking, and who must create the bedroom atmosphere. They critique advice that asks women to perform desire and argue for sharing emotional labor so intimacy can feel mutual and whole.

Send us Fan MailFinding a healthy church after being hurt is hard — especially when toxic churches have learned to hide what they really believe. This week, Rebecca and I walk you through our evidence-based, step-by-step method for evaluating a church's website before you ever step through the door. From homepage vibes to staff pages, statement of beliefs to membership covenants, we'll show you exactly what to look for — and what to run from.We're also sharing real examples from actual church websites, some of them from well-known names you'll recognize, so you can train your eye to spot the difference between a church that genuinely welcomes you and one that just wants to slot you into a hierarchy. And we're connecting it all to our brand-new peer-reviewed study on internalized modesty messaging — because finding a healthy church isn't just nice to have. For girls especially, it can make all the difference.GET OUR TEMPLATE to Vet Your Church's WebsiteTO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Our article about risk of sexual harassment in the Scientific Study of Religion JournalSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

They unpack disturbing passages from a popular purity manual and explain why certain stories amount to predatory grooming. They highlight community reactions that erase victims and normalize abuse. They report on a study linking hostile sexism to tradwife support and critique nostalgic, selective images of the past. They call for vetting church recommendations and zero tolerance for sexist attitudes.

They answer listener questions about finding healthy church communities and whether complementarianism is a dealbreaker. They discuss raising boys with healthy views of sex and practical dating mindsets. New research on internalized modesty messaging is introduced, including its links to lower self-esteem in girls and increased risk of sexual harassment in church settings.

Send us Fan MailWhat does it mean to have realistic expectations of a spouse with ADHD? How does gender play into how ADHD impacts a relationship? And what do accommodations actually look like—versus what do they not look like in a healthy marriage?This week Rebecca talks about her own diagnosis of ADHD with her father Keith (a pediatrician) and good friend Daniel Forsythe (a licensed psychotherapist who works with neurodiverse marriages frequently) to dig down to discuss what the evidence actually says is possible, the risk of “caregiver burnout”, and more as Rebecca picks the brains of the actual professionals so we can all land in an evidence-based place!THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Study regarding impact of ADHD on women versus men in adulthoodWrite-up on how we falsely believe that ADHD is easier on womenStudy on how a messy home impacts women versus men’s social standing and who we intrinsically believe is “responsible” for cleaningThe Marriage You Want bookIs It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? A more therapeutic book about counselling practices for marriages working with ADHD: Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan MailWhat if the reason so many women struggle with desire, arousal, and orgasm has nothing to do with their bodies—and everything to do with what they were taught before they even wanted to be sexual? In this episode, Rebecca and I pull together research and real-life stories to trace a thread that runs from how we raise our daughters, to what happens on the wedding night, to why so many women are secretly faking it.THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Our Orgasm Course and Boost Your Libido CourseLove and Respect Docu-SeriesResearch Paper: "Sexual Passion in Adolescence: Examining Its Transmission Through Mothers"Research Paper: "Do Women Withhold Honest Sexual Communication When They Believe Their Partner's Manhood Is Threatened?"Instagram Thread by Ally Jolie (somatic psychologist, UK)Podcast episode on men projecting sexual attention-seeking onto girlsSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Jay Stringer, licensed therapist and author exploring sexuality and relationships. He discusses how church culture teaches suppression, the provisional self that blocks longing, and five core longings like intimacy and pleasure. They cover enmeshment, how childhood roles shape marriage, low desire as a symptom, and why differentiation—being separate yet connected—fuels real intimacy.