Bare Marriage

They answer listener questions about finding healthy church communities and whether complementarianism is a dealbreaker. They discuss raising boys with healthy views of sex and practical dating mindsets. New research on internalized modesty messaging is introduced, including its links to lower self-esteem in girls and increased risk of sexual harassment in church settings.

Send us Fan MailWhat does it mean to have realistic expectations of a spouse with ADHD? How does gender play into how ADHD impacts a relationship? And what do accommodations actually look like—versus what do they not look like in a healthy marriage?This week Rebecca talks about her own diagnosis of ADHD with her father Keith (a pediatrician) and good friend Daniel Forsythe (a licensed psychotherapist who works with neurodiverse marriages frequently) to dig down to discuss what the evidence actually says is possible, the risk of “caregiver burnout”, and more as Rebecca picks the brains of the actual professionals so we can all land in an evidence-based place!THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Study regarding impact of ADHD on women versus men in adulthoodWrite-up on how we falsely believe that ADHD is easier on womenStudy on how a messy home impacts women versus men’s social standing and who we intrinsically believe is “responsible” for cleaningThe Marriage You Want bookIs It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? A more therapeutic book about counselling practices for marriages working with ADHD: Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us Fan MailWhat if the reason so many women struggle with desire, arousal, and orgasm has nothing to do with their bodies—and everything to do with what they were taught before they even wanted to be sexual? In this episode, Rebecca and I pull together research and real-life stories to trace a thread that runs from how we raise our daughters, to what happens on the wedding night, to why so many women are secretly faking it.THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Our Orgasm Course and Boost Your Libido CourseLove and Respect Docu-SeriesResearch Paper: "Sexual Passion in Adolescence: Examining Its Transmission Through Mothers"Research Paper: "Do Women Withhold Honest Sexual Communication When They Believe Their Partner's Manhood Is Threatened?"Instagram Thread by Ally Jolie (somatic psychologist, UK)Podcast episode on men projecting sexual attention-seeking onto girlsSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Jay Stringer, licensed therapist and author exploring sexuality and relationships. He discusses how church culture teaches suppression, the provisional self that blocks longing, and five core longings like intimacy and pleasure. They cover enmeshment, how childhood roles shape marriage, low desire as a symptom, and why differentiation—being separate yet connected—fuels real intimacy.

Send a textAnna Rollins grew up as the kind of girl who took her faith seriously — and that's exactly why it hurt her so much. In this conversation, Anna and I dig into her memoir Famished: On Food, Sex, and Growing Up as a Good Girl, where she traces how purity culture's messages about desire, self-denial, and the body quietly fueled decades of disordered eating, compulsive exercise, and sexual pain. What strikes me most is that Anna's parents were loving, her church wasn't overtly abusive — and yet the cumulative message she absorbed was shrink yourself.  I think this conversation is going to resonate deeply with so many of you.THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized! https://amzn.to/4rSYkZuTO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Get Anna Rollins' book FamishedFollow Anna on SubstackWatch our Love & Respect Docuseries The Portuguese version of The Great Sex RescueThe Chinese version of The Great Sex RescueThe Spanish version of The Good Girl's Guide to Great SexSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

They pull back the curtain on making a controversial docuseries and share surprising clips that were cut. They describe troubling research misuse, a shocking Nazi torture metaphor, and emotional backstories behind the ministry. They reveal a Florida church survey showing real harm and discuss how toxic teachings spread in congregations. They finish with cautious hope about healthier churches and better resources.

Jay Stringer, psychotherapist and author on sexual brokenness, and Beth Felkner Jones, scholar of gender and the New Testament, unpack how a bestselling marriage manual recycles 1970s ideas, leans on shaky statistics, and edits scripture to fit its thesis. They discuss misused research, historical context of biblical passages, and cultural forces that kept these claims influential.

A deep critique of a bestselling evangelical marriage manual and why its logic is flawed. They unpack gendered frameworks like COUPLE and CHAIRS and how those ideas shape sexual and relational expectations. The conversation highlights coercive messages, emotional avoidance, and how religious language can be used to silence and control.

Send a textToday I'm talking with Dr. Steven Tracy, author of "To Heal or Harm," about how scripture has been twisted to keep abuse victims trapped. We're diving into passages that discuss things like, "wives submit," "God hates divorce," and "a gentle answer turns away wrath" to show what they actually mean in context. And spoiler alert: none of them tell victims to stay in abuse. If you've ever felt like the Bible was being used against you, or if you're a pastor who wants to understand how to truly help abuse victims, this conversation is essential.PLUS: A special announcement with Rebecca you won’t want to miss!TO HEAL OR TO HARM: Get the book here!COMING SOON:Subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith channel for our Love & Respect podcast coming soon!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Mending the Soul websiteReporting on John MacArthur excommunicating Eileen Gray for leaving her abusive husbandSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send a textWe're tackling three really problematic things that have happened recently with evangelical leaders that show just how low the bar has gotten for men. From Jonathan Podluka announcing he wants to sleep with multiple beautiful women, to pastors responding to Philip Yancey's affair by saying "it could be any of us," to Tim Challies telling people in miserable marriages to just stick it out until they die—it's all connected to this theology that refuses to hold men accountable and tells women they just need to accept it. The common thread? A theology of male hierarchy that steals intimacy from marriages, justice from victims, and Jesus from people who are hurting.THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT:Get our book that corrects this horrible teaching! It's got a study guide and video series too!Subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith channel for our Love & Respect podcast coming soon!TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Tim Challies' article on if you chose poorlyMy article about Philip YanceyMy reel with the clips of Jonathan PokludaSheila's article about Jonathan Podluka’s 2023 sermon, and my new op ed Sarah Diefendorf's peer-reviewed articleMy recommended books on pornOur podcast on the Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books:The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves BetterThe Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.