Dear Sugars

The Dear Sugars inbox was flooded with responses to the two-part episode “Sexless Relationships” with Esther Perel. In those episodes, the Sugars answered letters from people who were longing for sexual intimacy with their partners. But many readers asked why we didn’t address the other side of sexless relationships: the people who want less sex than their partners. This episode was originally released on October 28th, 2017.

When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move. This episode was originally released on August 12th, 2017.

Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer... Content warning: episode mentions suicide. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018

Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One is home-schooled; another feels disconnected from her best friend. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider.

It’s healthy to cultivate friendships outside of your romantic relationships. But sometimes, they can be the source of jealousy and resentment. So when is jealousy actually justified? In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on this question and offer ways to confront and neutralize feelings of jealousy. This episode was originally released on March 31st, 2018.

Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The Sugars discuss and share their own struggles with body image. This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018.

Exploring emotional labor in relationships, the podcast delves into the unequal distribution of domestic responsibilities, emphasizing the toll it takes on women's well-being. It highlights the need for men to actively engage in sharing emotional labor for a more equitable dynamic, and discusses the impact of challenging traditional gender norms.

When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members. This episode was originally released on February 10th, 2018.

A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out. This episode was originally released on September 2nd, 2017.

The #MeToo movement deluged the Dear Sugars inbox with letters about sexual harassment in the workplace. In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars read some of these letters and discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm. This episode was originally published on March 24th, 2018.