Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy

In this Q&A Dr. Brad Reedy discusses how to handle it when your child, who is back from wilderness, starts to smoke pot again. He answers other questions about how not to let the symptoms of your problems distract from the root of your problems, what one parent could do about being triggered when attending the Evoke recommended 12-Step programs, and how to “detach with love.” He also addresses what to you do when it seems like your child is not really doing the work out in the field and how to create closeness with your child without creating the pressure to be close. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy took your live and pre-submitted questions. He answered questions about the value of psychiatric evaluations, "rescuing" our children, what happens to a child when one household seems more "stable" than the other, and whether or not there is such thing as "healthy codependency" (there isn't), among many others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy defines Attunement and Codependency and describes the differences between them. While it might feel like a fine line divides them, once you understand the effects of each on the family, that fine line widens to a large gap. Attunement is quite simply seeing and responding to the child’s needs. Codependency is projecting onto the Other your needs and meeting your needs through the Other. He also discusses the effect of healthy attachments and attunement on the family system and how the right kind of therapy can be used as a way to repair deep and historical attachment wounds, rather than “fixing” surface level manifestations of those wounds. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy addresses a few questions that essentially ask: What do I do when my [child, parent, significant other] is feeling [a certain emotion]? He responds: When we give people the “right” to feel their feelings it helps them—and ultimately us—process and then let go of the harder or negative feelings. Then we can all start making decisions from the right place--not from control or fear or guilt or outcomes. Our decision making is then driven by something higher. He also talks about how Evoke keeps wilderness clients warm in winter, how to manage a child in a trauma response, and and how parents can structure therapy with their child's wilderness therapist, among others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy revisits his favorite book on boundaries, “The Dance of Anger,” by Harriet Lerner. He talks about how guilt and fear must be faced for us to set boundaries and become who we are. He explains that anger is a signal that we need to take better care of ourselves. He also explains how we do everything (blame, argue, guilt others, complain, rage, debate, reason, etc.) except set a boundary to get others to change to avoid doing the harder work. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy took your live and pre-submitted questions. Tonight he answered questions about treatment-resistant teens, how to give yourself a time out when you're in lockdown, and what effect having high expectations on your kids actually has, among others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy defines trauma responses, discusses how to recognize them (i.e., If it’s hysterical, it’s historical), and then talks about ways to begin the process of moving past these automatic reactions into more intentional behaviors and response flexibility. “As parents, it is important for us to understand our trauma responses when we are trying to be a safe person for our kids. Trauma is inescapable, healing is elective,” says Dr. Reedy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parents ask questions about how wilderness works for kids with ASD, whether regular at-home drug testing is a good strategy, and how much to disclose to your children about your own growth work and learning. Dr. Brad Reedy also shares important thoughts on empathy and boundaries: "Don’t let your empathy rob you of your boundaries. We parents can sometimes do that and it allows us to compromise and sacrifice things that we need for ourselves." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Brad Reedy talks about many iterations of the family system and shares thoughts on how to approach each. Key messages: “When you talk about the other parent, you are talking about part of your child.” Choose “good enough.” Give up the need to be right. Learn to separate your need from your child’s need. Focus on what you can control. Your co-parenting relationship is modeling to your kid how to manage conflict in their lives. He also addresses parental alienation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy welcomes Mackenzie Phillips to the broadcast. Mackenzie, the daughter of musical royalty, climbed aboard the acting-train when it pulled into town. She created a successful acting career and is best known for her roles on “American Graffiti,” “One Day at a Time,” and “Orange is the New Black.” And in 2008, after a public arrest at LAX, she made her way towards recovery from addiction and mental health issues. Today, Mack works with individuals and families looking to free themselves from addiction and eating disorders at “Breathe Life Healing Center” located in Laurel Canyon, California, the same canyon made famous by her parents (her father was John Phillips of the Mama’s and the Papas) and their friends during the late 1960’s. Mack opens up and speaks candidly about her history of addiction and the difficult road to recovery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.