Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast

On November 9th, the disco at Desire Resort became a dungeon for the first time and it was an amazing night. Shara and I could never have pulled it off without the support and assistance of several other kinky couples who acted as both dungeon masters and service tops all evening. This episode was about bringing them on the show and capturing some of the incredible energy of that evening. Want to see what our humble dungeon looked like before the action started? Scroll down or visit our Facebook album Listen to this episode for a discount code that will score you 10% off at Extreme Restraints…on every order you ever make! Show Links: Sponsored by Extreme Restraints Ending The Sexual Dark Age On Facebook-Please "LIKE" Audience Demographic Survey (Please take a moment to respond)

Hello Swingset Fans and welcome to Desire week on the Swingset! The following podcast was recorded at Desire in November 2016 and features Dr. Liz Powell, Chris aka. Mister Pent, and myself, and it is The Gentleperverts Social Club. If you want to join us in Desire from November 4th to the 11th in 2017, well, hurry up! We are over 50% booked and yes... 51% does count as over 50%. :) So visit SSDESIRE.com for information on pricing and booking and when you do you'll be joining us for our second full takeover of Desire. While enjoying time at Desire Resort and Spa, we watched, waited, and realized our suffering through the 2016 Election would continue, but we decided to acknowledge the election and move on, for when we returned home we'd have work to do, and there was no work to be done while "stuck in Mexico". So, Chris Pent. Dr. Liz Powell and myself, with Tonia as our willing hostess and facilitator, decided to talk about: Closing the Deal Being sexually free means potential surrounds you, but it can be a real challenge to find someone you're attracted to and to ask them to join you in a way that allows for multiple chances for success, and for graceful failures. We are the Gentleperverts Social Club, You can find more Gentleperverts' Social Club podcasts every month at www.gentleperverts.com and discuss our latest episodes and topics on twitter with @GentlePerverts and on the Swingset.FM network hashtag #SSFM on twitter.. You can find me, Dylan Thomas, on Twitter, Facebook, Spotify and Fetlife. If you have a submission, a story, a signal boost request, or an idea for a topic, send that over to me at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com. We featured music by: Puppet - Play Pretend, off the new Fear is Fleeting EP Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm – Summer Never Ends

You're all sexy and sophisticated human beings, You understand your sexuality and you enjoy both giving and receiving pleasure. Once you've figured all that out about yourself, where do you go? What do you do next? Tonight we talk about how to best accessorize your sexy life, from dildos and vibrators, to rolls of saran wrap and condoms, to Liberator throes and sex furniture. We've created a list of all the items we discussed on the podcast! Dildos, Plug, and Harnesses Carter Pack and Play Silicone Dildo - New York Toy Collective Joque Harness - SpareParts Pure Wand Double Ended Steel Dildo - nJoy b-Vibe Rimming Plug Bad Dragon Toys Tantus Grab Bags (For Off / Random Color Dildos) Condoms & Barriers FC2 Internal Condom ONE Tantric Pleasures Condom Pack (Includes the "Tribal" that Dylan prefers) SKYN Extra Studded Non-Latex Condoms (Dr. Liz prefers) Various Condom Samplers through SwingsetCondoms.com ChicWrap Refillable Plastic Wrap Dispenser Furniture & Surfaces Liberator Fascinator King Size Lush Throe (Black) Liberator Wedge (Black) Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo (Black) Liberator Cube Liberator Black Label Escape Wet Don't forget to bring your towels! Bulk Pack of White Towels Bleach You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset products podcasts and put on live panels, podcasts, and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) an episode on Patreon at SupportSwingset.com! You can also purchase some of our sweet sweet Life on the Swingset merch from t-shirts, iPhone cases, blankets, and more! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. Make a statement without saying a word that you Stand with Nasty Women by purchasing our I Stand with Nasty Women t-shirt! 75% of all proceeds from the purchase go directly to the American Civil Liberties Union. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Sticky Biscuits' new EP is OUT! We played Sticky Biscuits' track: Fuck First, a cautionary tale about the consequences of eating on dates before fucking! You can find more Sticky Biscuits at their Patreon, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram, and at their Bandcamp page! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: Grant - Constellations (feat. Jessi Mason) Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - HYPE Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: Ephixa & Laura Brehm - Losing You End of Episode Outtakes Music: nanobii - Chipland ... also End of Episode Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

It's no secret that women may have dramatically different experiences entering into the non-monogamous world than men, whether it's exploring dating on OkCupid, charting a path through swinger parties, or being a third in a couples' relationship. Dedeker Winston, co-host of Swingset.FM's Multiamory, and author of the new book The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory joins Dylan Thomas, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, and Cooper S. Beckett to discuss gender and feminism within non-monogamy. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. You can find Dedeker Winston's book A Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory, here! Dr. Liz talked about Joreth's perspective on Solo Poly. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset products podcasts and put on live panels, podcasts, and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) an episode on Patreon at SupportSwingset.com! You can also purchase some of our sweet sweet Life on the Swingset merch from t-shirts, iPhone cases, blankets, and more! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. Make a statement without saying a word that you Stand with Nasty Women by purchasing our I Stand with Nasty Women t-shirt! 75% of all proceeds from the purchase go directly to the American Civil Liberties Union. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Sticky Biscuits' new EP is OUT! We played Sticky Biscuits' track: Even the Cutest Kittens, a little STI awareness disco song. You can find more Sticky Biscuits at their Patreon, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram, and at their Bandcamp page! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Politics Music: Stonebank - Droppin' Low Intro Music: Gareth Emery & Standerwick - Saving Light (feat. HALIENE) Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - HYPE Outro Music: Notaker - Shimmer End of Episode Outtakes Music: Rameses B - Vitality Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

Used to be, we'd talk pretty endlessly about our sexual activity on this podcast, to the point where our MOST NEGATIVE REVIEW EVER called us out for it. But that's ages ago, and it's been quite a while, and we're feeling a little indulgent and want to have some sexy conversation. You may as well just slap the #explanabrag hashtag right on here, cuz that's what Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, and Dirty Lola are doing tonight! We each tell some of our most recent sexy stories... stories including rimming, threesomes, pegging, anal, rimming, blowjobs, piss play, Donald Trump masks, deep throating, gagging, anal, bathhouses, play parties, orgies, strap-on sex... oh yes... yes. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. Help support Life on the Swingset products podcasts and put on live panels, podcasts, and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) an episode on Patreon at SupportSwingset.com! You can also purchase some of our sweet sweet Life on the Swingset merch from t-shirts, iPhone cases, blankets, and more! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. Make a statement without saying a word that you Stand with Nasty Women by purchasing our I Stand with Nasty Women t-shirt! 75% of all proceeds from the purchase go directly to Planned Parenthood. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: LVTHER - Some Kind Of Magic (feat. MYZICA) Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - HYPE Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: PYLOT - Caine, off the new Shadowtask EP Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dirty Lola Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

It seems to happen like clockwork. Someone cheats, or gets caught in some sort of sex scandal. They have to make amends, show that they're working to fix "the problem" so they can return to their normal lives. While we on the Swingset happen to think that many of their normal lives might've been improved with open and honest conversations about monogamy, so often they fall back to the excuses of "I'm addicted to sex" and failing that, "I'm addicted to porn." It's widespread and it's been propagated by early friend to open sexual discussion Dr. Drew (who has since descended into some sort of madness). Tonight we're thrilled to be joined by clinical psychologist Dr David Ley to discuss the myths of sex and porn addiction. Join Cooper, Dylan, Dirty Lola, Mike Joseph, and Dr. Liz Powell on tonight's panel! As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Resources: The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid Christian C. Joyal & Julie Carpentier's study: The Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests and Behaviors in the General Population: A Provincial Survey Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: PYLOT - Shadowtask, off the new Shadowtask EP Politics Music: Muzzy & Droptek - Warhead Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: Haywyre - Endlessly Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dirty Lola Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

It's the New Year, 2017, and for much of our country that means halfhearted resolutions. I'm going to change. I'm going to improve. These resolutions come about because of the arbitrary timeline that defines last year and this year. We are unfinished, and as such, we can strive to always improve. We discuss working on ourselves and becoming better, in sex, in relationships, and in life with Cooper, Dylan, Dr. Liz, Mike Joseph, and Dirty Lola. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: Snavs - Time Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: Rameses B - We Love Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Dirty Lola

We've been overdue for for a rapprochement with one of our favorite past topics: Privacy and Security in Swinging & Polyamory.The team of Mister Pent and Dylan Thomas put together information about securing yourself on the internet that a panel also including Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, and Cooper S. Beckett could discuss, digest, and put into action. In the age of our ability to connect anywhere and anytime, share information easily, and be as open as we want to be, it's important we arm ourselves with the knowledge necessary to make good decisions about what we put online and the information required to raise our level of computer and internet security. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast and feel free to ask questions of @MisterPent and @DylanTheThomas! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. While we are definitely going to put together ebook / guide on cybersecurity for perverts, we wanted to list some of the resources we discussed during the podcast here: On Two-Factor Authentication When enabled, two-factor authentication (or 2FA) can surface as a "we don't recognize this device" message sent to an email address or a mobile phone number, or it can refer to an installed mobile app or a physical security token. You can find a list of websites that support 2FA here: https://twofactorauth.org/ In the meantime if you have a Google account, or have logins on sites like Dropbox, Lastpass, or Microsoft, go grab the Google Authenticator app. If you're a steam gamer, grab the Steam app and enable Steam Guard. On Passwords Securityinabox.org has a lot of great contnet with tools and tactics for digital security, they have a particularly good guide on creating, maintaining, remembering, and recording secure passwords, including with a password manager. XKCD's comic on Password Security that we love: On Password Managers and Sharing Passwords: Mister Pent, Cooper S. Beckett, and Dylan Thomas use Lastpass. Lastpass allows you to have a single set of passwords securely accessible over multiple devices and over the web, while setting up two factor authentication to limit access. It includes web browser extensions to automatically log you into sites and an Android app that does the same, depending on desired level of ease of use. It also allows you to share sets of passwords secureiy and simply with other people. Dylan Thomas also uses mSecure synchronized to a Dropbox account. mSecure has mobile and computer apps. It's not as nice or feature filled as Lastpass, but it's a little extra hassle for a lot of extra security for the most sensitive of passwords. If you need to share a temporary password with someone you can use OneTimeSecret. You create an a self-destructing link that disappears once it's accessed or once a certain amount of time passes. On using VPNs: You can't always trust the access to the internet you have, whether it's because you're in an airport on free airport wireless or a coffee shop or because you're travelling. Sometimes you may just want to tune into BBC Radio 5 using their iPlayer and you happen to not live in the Commonwealth. VPNs can keep your traffic secure when you can't trust your connection, with the added benefit of giving you choice on what country your traffic exits so you can use region specific resources. Dylan Thomas uses BlackVPN. Mister Pent and Cooper S. Beckett use Private Internet Access. Both can support simultaneous connections to cover multiple devices at once, and both allow multiple country exit points It has guides for usage on Windows, OS X, Linux, Android and iOS. On Encrypting your Devices using Passwords or Biometric Authentication: If you don't use a password, pin code, or thumbprint on your mobile devices, set one up! Modern Android and iOS based phones will automatically encrypt your device or give you the option to once you've set a password. While a six digit pin code or better is best, anything is better than nothing. Just Do It. On Encrypting your Computer with Full Disk Encryption! If you have a maching running a Pro version of Windows, use Bitlocker. Windows 7 ||| Windows 10 If you are running any other version of Windows, use Veracrypt. Securityinabox.org has a great guide on using Veracrypt to encrypt an external drive or your entire computer. If you're running MacOS, Backblaze (the Cloud Storage company) has a comprehensive FileVault usage guide, though Apple's isn't so bad. If you're running Linux you probably don't need our assistance. *grin* On Backing up your data & Encryption in the Cloud: One of the biggest risks to your data is physical failure or destruction of your devices. While services like Google Drive, iCloud, Dropbox and Box give us places to put our files in a pretty secure way, information stored on those services can be accessed and recovered by the services themselves in case of an investigation or subpoena. We recommend Backblaze as they encrypt data at rest and support two factor authentication. On Communicating Securely: We recommend using Signal Private Messenger, which includes iOS and Android apps and a Chrome extension and supports private messaging and calling. Whatsapp supports end-to-end encryption. With Facebook Messenger you can enable secret conversations. We suggest never sending sensitive information over email. On Social Media: Check out SecurityInABox.org's guide to security and privacy on social networking sites. On Browsing Secureiy: Drive-by malware downloads and poisoned ad networks, or shady looking porn sites, can mean you may pick something up while browsing the internet, often through no fault of your own. Most of us use both Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox to browse the web, each for different sets of accounts (Multiple Google Accounts!) and with different sets of extensions installed to help protect ourselves. Mister Pent prefers Ghostery. Dylan Thomas uses Adblock Plus with Google Chrome, and NoScript on Mozilla Firefox. For ultimate browsing privacy, the Tor Browser is a good option. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 LOTS THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: Pegboard Nerds - Talk About It f/ Desirée Dawson, off the new Nerds By Nature EP Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: nanobii - Chipland Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Chris Pent

One of the main reasons that so many of us leave monogamous relationships is the realization that we or our partners may not be as hetero as we thought. Non-monogamy can provide an exceptional opportunity to go beyond Kinsey's Scale, and view the entire spectrum of sexuality that spreads out before us, learning about ourselves in the process. The fluidity of sexuality and sexual expression is often underappreciated in the vanilla world. From straight to gay, to bi, pan, and omni, that's what we're talking about tonight on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's featured music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"! Today's intro music came courtesy of Vlad Lucan in his track titled Reverse! Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: Tristam - Before We Fade Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Chris Pent

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X (plus 1)! We're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. As usual, answers have not been edited for content or clarity! If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message, or email us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag! As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Tonight we answer the following written questions: My road into non-monogamy has been a twisted and challenging path. My 13-year marriage ended last year partly because of an incompatibility around the potential for opening our marriage. When I started dating I tried to be very open with women about my desire for non-monogamy and live a polyamourous life that includes swinging and sometimes a little kink and BDSM. Through dating apps like Tinder I have met many wonderful women and had some great relationships develop. I have tremendously transparent conversations with these women. Most run for the hills after to non-monogamy talk, some are intrigued and go along with it for a while, but in the end these relationships mostly follow the same pattern. The woman is okay with other partners in the beginning, but as time passes she always has a difficult time with the non-monogamy and it ends or goes to the friend zone. Otherwise the woman wants a "don't ask don't tell" or "friends with benefits" approach, which to me is just single dating rather than ethical non monogamy. It is impossible to have intimacy without transparency. Where does one go to find women who are already there in the poly/swinger community who are looking for other poly/swing single partners? Are there any better strategies for finding women more directly who already share these values? Aaron from Canada My brief backstory: 50ish male, married for twenty-something years. I have always struggled with attraction, crushes, and even feelings for, and from, others. Monogamy isn't actually what I want, and, in the spirit of a good mid-life crisis, I'm not getting any younger. Being aware of the trauma that this might cause my wife, I have introduced the topic gently and slowly. She has reacted... well, it's hard to say. There has been no screaming and crying, which I guess is a good sign. The best description of her reaction is "ninja-level avoidant", as she deflects my every attempt to explore this in depth. An example: after a recent talk she said "you've given me a lot to think about". I realise what I want most is to have the relationship communication skills that are necessary to be non-monogamous in the first place. To have the openness that I hear others describe in their relationships. It's not even principally about the swinging anymore. I have communication envy! So how do I learn to communicate like a non-monogamous person? And how do I teach someone else to do this? Is it possible? My husband I have been in the swing lifestyle since we first started dating 6 years ago. Along the way, I have developed more romantic feelings for some of our partners, while things remain mainly about friendship and sex for my husband. I've tried to hide my feelings which has resulted in a lot of hurt. We are trying to figure out how to move forward when I feel more poly and he still feels more like a swinger and isn't interested in developing romantic relationships. I'm having trouble finding resources that talk about how to successfully move between the two. Kara Today I found out, in a convoluted way, that a long-term male partner of mine sexually assaulted someone. I don't know the any details. I don't know when it happened, or what happened afterwards. I do know that women don't lie about sexual assault. I also learned two others say they witnessed him pushing boundaries or putting women in uncomfortable situations , and that he's seen as a "missing stair" in some subsets of our local kink community. This is someone I love. Someone I've only ever had positive, affirming, respectful experiences with. Someone I trusted with my life (and I'm an angry, suspicious, mostly-lesbian hardcore feminist killjoy who rarely trusts anyone). What should I do? Oh, and just to make things even more complicated, this partner's live-in partner is also my partner. We're a triad. Do I tell her? How? In answering this question, Dylan lamented not reading the question before he read it as he wanted to have a more prepared answer. Dr. Liz on the other hand was able to respond quickly and effectively on ways to address members of the community to who have violated boundaries and support people who have had their boundaries violated, and how to both repair and grow the larger community after. Visit a compilation of resources Dr. Liz put together here. We took a little time at the end of the episode for business. Dr. Liz put out a new video on Youtube titled "What's the 'Friend Zone' Anyway?" Mike Joseph has been speaking lately on behalf of the Jed Foundation, a NYC based organization empowering teens and young adults with the skills and support to grow into healthy thriving adults. Visit them at www.jedfoundation.org. You can also always find Mike Joseph at his podcast the Jheri Curl Chronicles Radio Show at www.popblerd.com. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's intro music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"! Reading Reviews Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: DROELOE - Bon Voyage Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph