RIDEOUT: The Other Side of Hard

Chris “Knuckles” Nilan was a Boston kid who became a Montreal Canadiens legend. 688 NHL games. A Stanley Cup. More than 3,000 penalty minutes. One of the toughest enforcers hockey has ever seen. But after the cheers stopped, the real fight started. Injuries. Painkillers. OxyContin. Heroin. Fentanyl. An overdose that nearly killed him. This conversation goes way deeper than hockey. We talk about identity… toughness… shame… addiction… and what happens when the thing that helped you survive becomes the thing you have to outgrow. Now Chris is sober. He’s at peace. And he doesn’t hide anything. This one is raw. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Helix Sleep: http://helixsleep.com/rideout for a special Memorial Day deal with 27% off (limited time offer!) Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Boston Roots Intro (01:03) West Roxbury Upbringing (01:46) Boston Toughness Talk (03:41) Northeastern Beanpot Years (04:23) Dad Pushes Him Forward (06:09) Prep School Breakthrough (07:47) Judge Mentor Story (12:01) Sponsor Break Ketone IQ (12:50) Drafted By Canadiens (13:46) Ride With Habs Legends (18:59) AHL Camp Reality Check (22:53) First Pro Fight Contract (26:32) Called Up To NHL (32:18) First NHL Games Nerves (35:36) Becoming More Than Enforcer (36:18) Helix Sleep Sponsor Break (37:33) Contracts and Earning NHL Money (38:29) Earning Trust in Montreal (39:17) Jacques Lemaire Skill Work (42:00) Young Stars and Slafkovsky (43:55) Meeting Karen and Marriage (44:59) Whitey Bulger Warning (48:30) Hometown Villain in Boston (51:12) Bruins Fights and Lessons (54:33) Old School Hockey Culture (55:41) Injuries and Career Decline (57:02) Boston Return and All Star (59:18) Talus Break on Parquet (01:01:07) Getting Older in Fights (01:04:39) Alcohol Drugs and Opiates (01:09:18) OxyContin Spiral and Rehab (01:14:51) Shame And Accountability (01:16:42) Oxy To Heroin Spiral (01:18:02) First Heroin And IV High (01:20:02) Fentanyl Overdose Wakeup (01:22:18) Recovery Work And Community (01:23:34) Boston Bonds And Rivalries (01:27:08) Priest Scandal Confrontation (01:35:17) Rebuilding In Montreal (01:36:52) Hawaii Turning Point (01:40:29) Vivitrol And Shame Secrets (01:43:05) Anger Control And Street Sense (01:49:05) Life Today And Farewell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Former Raiders linebacker and actor Miles Burris joins Ken for a conversation about identity, reinvention, and what happens when the dream you chased your whole life suddenly ends. Miles grew up in Granite Bay, California obsessed with football from the moment he first put on pads. After becoming a standout linebacker at San Diego State, he was drafted by his childhood team — the Oakland Raiders — and thrown into the fire immediately as an NFL starter. He talks about the reality of playing linebacker in the league, facing quarterbacks like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, rookie camp chaos, injuries, Toradol, identity loss after football, and the pressure of trying to hold onto a career that was slipping away. But this episode isn’t just about football. After injuries ended his NFL career, Miles fell into a dark stretch trying to figure out who he was without the game. His wife pushed him into acting classes, which eventually led to roles in The Righteous Gemstones, Lucifer, Safety, and more. He opens up about the transition from athlete to actor, the uncertainty of Hollywood, moving to Nashville, and how funny neighborhood skits on social media unexpectedly opened even bigger doors. This is a conversation about effort, reinvention, masculinity, confidence, and betting on yourself when life forces you to start over. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Athletic Brewing: https://athleticbrewing.com/ Code "RIDEOUT" Athletic Nicotine: athleticnicotine.com/rideout Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Intro and Banter (00:53) Growing Up Granite Bay (01:10) Sports and Football Focus (02:37) High School Program and Position (03:42) NFL Dream and Dad Influence (06:06) College Choice and Recruiting (07:35) SDSU Struggles and Turnaround (12:07) Effort Mindset Lesson (14:41) Agents and Draft Prep (20:38) Draft Day Raiders Call (23:32) Rookie Camp Reality Check (25:34) Thrown Into the Fire (26:40) Facing QB Chessmasters (27:50) Raiders Reality Check (28:39) Near Pick on Brady (30:25) Kids Sports and Concussion Scare (32:30) Rookie Hazing and Camp Life (33:52) Injuries End the Dream (37:20) Toradol and NFL Pain Culture (42:01) PED Talk and Testing (44:05) Rookie Money and Benefits (47:32) Identity After Football (50:20) Why Nashville Won Them Over (51:12) Cross Country Move Horror Story (52:25) Host Backstory NYC to LA (53:19) Free Work Breakthrough (54:07) Leaving LA for Nashville (54:42) Reacher Neighbor Story (57:02) Football Ends Acting Begins (58:16) First Auditions No Fear (01:01:13) Big Roles and Gemstones (01:03:09) Self Tape Era Shift (01:05:08) Social Media Career Boost (01:11:33) Brands and YouTube Money (01:14:17) Raiders Content and Brady (01:15:21) Closing Advice and Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark Kerr was one of the most dominant fighters on the planet. NCAA champion. Undefeated in early MMA. A force so powerful they called him The Smashing Machine. But behind the wins was a different story. Addiction. Shame. An overdose that nearly killed him. A life spinning out in real time. This conversation goes way deeper than fighting. We talk about identity… what happens when success isn’t enough… and what it really takes to rebuild your life when everything falls apart. Now, decades later, Mark is sober. He’s back. And his story is being told on the biggest stage in the world. This one hits hard. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Timeline: timeline.com/rideout Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Meet the Smashing Machine (01:52) Movie Feels Like Therapy (03:33) Shame and Addiction Spiral (08:14) Childhood and Wrestling Roots (09:13) Iowa Move Changes Everything (13:43) Syracuse Rise and Dyslexia (15:23) Felony Charges and Fallout (17:24) Rock Tour and Drug Scene (20:50) Rebuilding and NCAA Comeback (24:12) Foxcatcher World Team Era (31:46) Kurt Angle Rivalry and Loss (33:48) First MMA Fights in Brazil (38:36) Street Fight Mindset (38:58) Early UFC Was Brutal (40:40) Bare Knuckle Damage (42:25) UFC Pay To Win (43:20) Training With Real Resistance (45:43) Pride Fame In Japan (49:15) Yakuza And Fight Culture (50:43) Opiates And Cutting Corners (56:45) Methadone Overdose Narcan (01:03:14) Rehab And Coming Clean (01:11:46) Return To Grand Prix (01:13:12) Alcohol Takes Over (01:15:43) Training as Identity (01:16:20) Drinking Ends Fighting (01:17:19) Car Sales Spiral (01:18:42) Son Sparks Sobriety (01:19:48) AA and Recovery Tools (01:20:38) Documentary and Fate (01:21:31) Hollywood Call Back (01:24:14) Rights Bought Back (01:26:28) Dwayne Signs On (01:27:01) Pandemic Delays Project (01:29:37) Vancouver Time Capsule (01:33:01) Rebuilding the House Set (01:34:48) Ex Wife and Amends (01:37:49) The Rock Character (01:40:50) Paid in Perpetuity (01:42:18) Life After the Film (01:43:58) Responsibility and Wellness (01:46:35) Momentum Through Discipline (01:49:25) Why Not You (01:53:19) Closing and Subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Johnny Wilson’s life doesn’t follow a straight line—it crashes, burns, and rebuilds. From getting kicked out of the Naval Academy to fighting his way into the Navy SEALs…From combat deployments in Iraq to the trading floor at Goldman Sachs…From suicidal thoughts and a fractured life to finding healing in the darkest places… This is a story about what happens after the mission ends. Johnny opens up about war, trauma, identity loss, addiction, and the moment everything broke. And more importantly—how he found a way back. Now, through INVI MindHealth, he’s helping others do the same—using data, community, and new approaches to mental health to save lives.  This one is raw, honest, and necessary. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Rho: https://rhonutrition.com Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Meet Johnny Wilson (00:51) Military Kid Upbringing (02:08) Fatherhood and Toughness (04:01) High School Football Days (06:22) Kids Today and Drinking (08:17) Non Alcoholic Beer Boom (10:13) Sponsor Ketone IQ (11:02) Naval Academy Culture Shock (12:52) Hazing and Leadership (14:37) Kicked Out and Rebuilding (23:33) Bootcamp and Ratings (28:28) Birthday Weekend Disaster (37:44) Bridge Bust and Near Jump (38:19) Cop Recognizes Them (38:51) Fence Hop Fallout (40:06) Faith and Second Chances (41:14) NAD Plus Sponsor Break (42:19) BUDS Cold Grind (43:53) Sand Runs and Boot Pace (47:29) Obstacle Course Wipeouts (50:14) Team Four and Deployment (51:11) New Guy Hazing Culture (52:17) Tridents and Birdcage (53:31) Mindset on Killing (56:13) Marriage and Home Front (01:02:01) Arrival in Baghdad (01:03:37) Turnover Ops and Mike Day (01:07:40) Sadr City and IED Chess (01:09:39) Drone Tech Evolution (01:11:30) Corruption and Integrity Talk (01:15:16) First Incoming Fire (01:16:18) Tunnel Vision Under Fire (01:16:52) Calm Leadership Moment (01:17:35) Debriefs and Evolving Tactics (01:19:17) Deployment Life Off Duty (01:20:17) Degrees During Deployments (01:22:08) Marriage Strain and Growth (01:26:26) Landing at Goldman Sachs (01:27:33) Corporate Culture Shock (01:31:32) Quitting and Returning to Teams (01:33:49) Back In and Global Deployments (01:37:38) Transition to Capital Group (01:41:01) Farm Life and Hunting Stories (01:48:53) Early Signs and Ibogaine Lead (01:52:12) Psychedelic Research Spark (01:53:40) Hitting Rock Bottom (01:54:35) Ibogaine Clinic Prep (01:56:01) Visions Then Darkness (01:59:40) Trauma Purge And Integration (02:01:49) DMT Death And Family (02:04:22) Therapy Not Recreation (02:07:10) Ending Cravings With Ibogaine (02:10:09) Building NV Mind Health (02:12:25) Wearables And Swim Buddy (02:17:50) ARPA-H Trials And Partnerships (02:23:00) Vulnerability And Community (02:28:31) Resources And Wrap Up (02:29:22) Subscribe And Sponsors Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jason Smith is a retired U.S. Army infantry sergeant who lost both legs after stepping on an IED in Afghanistan in 2012.  What followed wasn’t just survival—it was a complete rebuild. From months of rehab in Texas to refusing prosthetics, to eventually relearning how to walk, Jason had to let go of who he was to become someone new. Along the way, he faced PTSD, setbacks, and moments that nearly broke him—but kept choosing forward. Today, he’s a father of two, lives on a farm, and serves veterans through Catch A Lift Fund—helping others rebuild through fitness, community, and purpose. He’s also a USPA National Bench Press Champion, competing and winning against able-bodied athletes. This is a story about identity, resilience, and what happens after everything is taken from you. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Rho Nutrition: https://rhonutrition.com/ Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Meet Jason Smith (00:20) Growing Up and Enlisting (01:29) Boot Camp Reality Check (02:39) Stationed in South Korea (05:48) Fort Lewis and Deployment Prep (07:08) Training for Combat (11:15) First Missions and Fear (15:47) First Contact and Loss (20:14) Pinned Down and Enemy Tactics (23:44) The IED Blast (29:04) Evac to Kandahar and Germany (32:25) Texas Rehab and Prosthetics (38:26) Learning to Walk Again (39:22) High Tech Prosthetics Costs (40:53) Finding Strength and Farm Life (45:08) Rehab Mindset and Identity (46:08) Robbed Hit and Near Drowning (50:53) Marriage Kids and Homeschooling (55:09) Catch A Lift Mission (57:42) Warrior Games to Invictus Wins (01:00:10) USPA Nationals and Bench Rules (01:03:35) Purpose Advice and Farewell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie Hoff, former Olympic swimmer and multi-medalist who rebuilt life after elite sport, health scares, and depression. She talks fertility and IVF, the crushing pressure of Olympic expectations, a pulmonary embolism that ended her career, and the Hoffman Process that helped her find peace and purpose. Short, candid stories about identity, recovery, and starting a new chapter.

I’ve known Micky Ward for a long time. Before the fights people saw. Before the movie. This is a guy who was working as a corrections officer while trying to make it in boxing. Getting written off. Used as an opponent. Walking away from the sport… and coming back anyway. We talk about the part people don’t understand — the fear. He’ll tell you straight up, everyone’s scared. Anyone who says they’re not is lying. The difference is he learned how to control it and still go forward. We get into Round 9 of the first Gatti fight — what it actually felt like to be in there, hurt, exhausted, and still making the decision to fight. We talk about his family, what the movie got right and wrong, and what it takes to keep going when everything in you is telling you to stop. This one is about endurance. Not talent. Just deciding you’re not done. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Athletic Nicotine: athleticnicotine.com/rideout Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Lowell and Jailhouse Days(02:51) Early Boxing Roots(03:30) Dickie as Trainer(06:15) Turning Pro and Setbacks(07:58) Fear and Fight Night Nerves(09:54) Dickie vs Sugar Ray(12:59) Gym Fighters and Sparring(17:12) Title Shot vs Shea Neary(20:42) Sanchez Comeback KO(25:42) Family Life and Sisters(27:46) Making The Fighter Movie(34:52) Movie Ending Explained(35:05) Story Sources Documentary(35:44) Family Reactions Premiere(38:26) Nephew Sean And Fame(40:14) Race Sports And Prison(42:33) Toughest Opponents Lessons(45:40) Title Stripped And Setbacks(48:24) Gatti Call And Mindset(51:09) Fight Breakdown Ninth Round(57:28) Trilogy Injuries And Surgery(01:01:13) Friendship After Trilogy(01:02:10) Life After Boxing Wrap(01:04:17) Podcast Outro And Plugs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabby Reece, former pro volleyball player and fitness entrepreneur, and Laird Hamilton, big-wave pioneer and waterman, join forces in a candid conversation. They tackle fear as fuel, intense training rituals, near-divorce and the rule to “say it, fix it, move on.” They also cover teamwork and safety in extreme sports, daily marriage practices, parenting values, and building a resilient life together.

Former NFL wide receiver Eric Decker had everything most people chase—success, fame, a Super Bowl appearance, and a picture-perfect life on the outside. But when football ended, so did the structure, identity, and validation he had relied on his entire life. In this conversation, Eric opens up about what really happens after the dream is over—struggling with confidence, anxiety, and purpose, and confronting the deeper issues rooted in childhood, family, and self-worth. He shares the turning point that forced him to face it all: therapy, vulnerability, and doing the inner work most men avoid. We also go deep on fatherhood, pressure, and how to show up better for your kids… plus the journey from small-town Minnesota to the NFL, draft-day uncertainty, a devastating Lisfranc injury, and playing in a Super Bowl. This is a conversation about identity, masculinity, and what it actually takes to rebuild your life when the thing you thought defined you is gone. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Rho: https://rhonutrition.com Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters (00:00) Eric Decker Joins (00:11) Vulnerability After Sports (02:55) Onsite Therapy Weekend (07:43) Men Asking For Help (12:25) Small Town Sports Roots (18:16) Family Divorce And Dad Pressure (20:25) Parenting Youth Sports (29:27) College Scholarship Moment (31:54) Grinding Through Minnesota (33:08) Receiver Skills And Intangibles (35:24) Finding Soft Spots (35:51) Two Sport Pivot (37:47) College Breakout Years (39:46) Choosing Football Over Baseball (41:09) Lisfranc Injury Fallout (44:43) Draft Day Rollercoaster (50:02) Rookie Camp Reality Check (55:08) Special Teams Baptism (01:02:35) Peyton Era And Super Bowl (01:05:19) Super Bowl Week Chaos (01:07:01) Kids And Memorabilia (01:08:38) Meeting Jess After Rookie Year (01:09:02) Lockout Year Adventures (01:09:35) Meeting Jess Long Distance (01:10:51) Early Career Growing Pains (01:12:20) Why Nashville Works (01:13:46) Authenticity And Real Friends (01:14:52) Retirement Identity Crisis (01:16:26) Jess Pushes For Help (01:18:33) Reality Show Origins (01:25:37) Special Forces In Morocco (01:32:17) Pickleball And New Ventures (01:34:57) Friendship And Closing Advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kaitlyn Bristowe went from a small town in Canada to the center of reality TV—and paid the price for it. She opens up about chasing a dance career, hitting rock bottom after a breakup, and rebuilding her life from nothing. Then came The Bachelor and The Bachelorette—and with it, fame, manipulation behind the scenes, and a level of public backlash that nearly broke her. She talks about being slut-shamed on national TV, dealing with threats, and navigating the pressure of building a career in a space that didn’t exist yet. But she didn’t stop there. From Broadway to building a business, writing music, and ultimately winning Dancing With the Stars, Kaitlyn shares how she turned chaos into momentum—and why doing the inner work mattered just as much as the external success. This is a conversation about identity, resilience, and staying true to yourself when the world is trying to define you. Thank you to our sponsors Ketone-IQ: ⁠ketone.com/rideout Code “RIDEOUT” Helix Sleep: http://helixsleep.com/rideout for 20% off Athletic Brewing: https://athleticbrewing.com/ Code "RIDEOUT" Ken’s book now available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Chapters 00:00 Welcome and Reality Stigma 00:49 Instagram Early Days 02:07 Brand Deals and Trust 03:11 Influencer Culture Shift 05:22 Small Town Roots 06:37 Dance Dream to Vancouver 07:20 College Blueprint Debate 10:16 Hockey Life and Rock Bottom 12:50 Signed Up for The Bachelor 13:30 Adversity and Mental Health 15:31 Bachelor Night One Chaos 18:13 Bali Blindside Elimination 21:26 Becoming The Bachelorette 22:13 Negotiating the Contract 25:14 Bachelorette Behind the Scenes 26:31 Sex Talk and Producer Manipulation 30:24 Backlash and Mean Tweets 31:25 Trolls And Triggers 32:42 Reality TV Relationship Fallout 34:16 Post Show Career Whiplash 34:54 Broadway Dream And Burnout 37:11 Paparazzi And Being Recognized 37:50 Sponsor Break Athletic Brewing 38:43 Broadway Nerves And Mom Moment 39:57 DWTS Drama And Contract Twist 42:39 Winning DWTS Through Injury 47:55 Freestyle Finale And Nev Beef 49:46 Staying True And Inner Child Work 56:28 Hoffman Process And Self Dates 01:00:07 Psychedelics And Ego Death Story 01:02:25 Closing Thoughts And Subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices