Rope Podcast

Have you ever been asked to ‘spot’ for someone when they’re doing rope bondage? Here Fox and Mya discuss what it means to spot, what does and doesn’t work well, what can go wrong, and some of their personal experiences. Fox also shares his ‘must-have’ condition he needs to be met if he’s going to be a spotter. In the episode, you can learn the difference between having an audience and having spotters, the one case when you *must* have a spotter, and why it’s not just bottoms who might need spotters.

Fox shares his rope erotica piece on slave Rouge’s first suspension.

*Heads up: This episode contains discussion of CNC elements in rope.* ChristianRed is a rope educator who has led the Nottingham, UK, Rope Group for three years, as well as teaching at various events in Europe. He has a broad rope background, but we chat to him about his expertise in takedown and restraint in rope, an area which isn’t taught by many due to the skills needed for that level of expertise. Christian has studied, competed in and coached martial arts for most of his life. Christian lives with his lovely partner/property EntwinedStar in Nottingham in the UK. In this episode, he shares a bit about his journey into rope, and how he got into takedown rope. He explains what kinds of elements takedown rope contains, and gives some examples of how he integrates it into scenes. We talk about takedown rope practicalities, such as the rope he uses. Fox and Mya share some of their preconceptions about takedown rope, and the team discuss how this style of rope can contradict the usual perception of what a rope bottom’s role is. They also explore the skills needed in take down for both rope tops and rope bottoms, as well as covering some of the risks.

Rope at parties! For some, this might be their first experience of watching rope, and for others, they might want to try it in a public place. In this episode we examine the topic from plenty of angles. Learn why Mya did her first rope scene at a party, hear about a number of the rope scenes Fox and Mya have either done or watched at parties, and learn the type of rope that Fox and Mya do sometimes that clears a room at parties. Fox and Mya also discuss: How you might connect with others at parties Who to tie with Reasons to do rope in public How rope in public might be different from rope at home What you might want to look out for and plenty of tips to make your rope at a party go well. *How do you feel about rope at parties? What do/don’t you do? What rope scenes have you enjoyed as a participant or a watcher?*

Belle is a rope switch and rope bondage instructor who has also produced a range of wonderful instructional videos and writings on topics such as ‘Bottoming for the Body You Have’, ‘How to Connect’ as well as many ties. Fox and Mya talk with her, and Belle shares: her rope journey; how sex and rope connect for her; how she developed her understanding of what connection is, and how varied that is with her different rope partners; how the style of rope she likes as a top is different from the style she loves as a bottom; how she has adjusted the rope she does as a bottom to fit the body she has; how she started creating her own ties and why; and how she decides whether she’s a good match for other tops’ or bottoms’ styles.

Do you have a strategy to manage rope drop? Fox and Mya have both experienced this as a top and bottom in rope respectively, and share their experiences and suggestions on the topic. They also discuss: what rope drop might look like, the ‘science’ of rope drop (such as it is); how a top can tell their rope bottom might be dropping; differences in rope drop for tops and bottoms; how you might want to address rope drop; and Mya gives one piece of advice on drop that surprises Fox!

Listener Sam from Chiang Mai, Thailand, wants to try crotch rope, and asked for some advice in this area. We discuss: what this type of rope consists of; good knot placement and spots to avoid; the fun - and less so fun, according to Mya! - consequences of crotch rope; and a number of ways that you could use it in a scene depending on your scene goal.

Riah is an American presenter and demo bottom for a variety of subjects, including non-monogamy and BDSM subjects, and of course, rope. Fox and Mya picked her brains about some more unusual topics, such as tying yourself to your partner, and building a human playground. She discusses: how rope has helped her to manage her anxiety; accessing her emotions through rope; her first ever scene as a rope top; how she’s used scening to process different events in the past; where power exchange fits in rope for her; and how she helps students to learn through play. She leaves us with some actionable advice for how bottoms can grow in rope bondage.

Do you have a bias around how you think rope is seen by non-ropey people? The last time Mya went back to the UK, she had a bit of cold shower when she shared her rope kink with some friends and family. Learn about the ‘false consensus effect’, and how it applies us in rope - and the perception of others. We talk about several examples of rope out there in the world, including journalism, art and fashion, legal cases, documentaries and music videos (many many links in the Fet writing). We also touch on rope as a community within a community (BDSM) and what the implications of that might be. Learn about Mya’s conflicting feels about the rope potentially becoming mainstream, and the possible pros and cons of that. Do we think it’s going to happen? You’ll have to listen and see.

Your first rope scene can feel like a big deal - you’ve been waiting a long time for this, and you’re finally ready - but where are you going to do it? Fox and Mya discuss the context you might want to do your first rope scene in, and the pros and cons of different situations, such as a semi-public party or rope jam, versus private. They talk about their own first scenes, and you can learn why Mya did her first rope scene at a kink party rather than privately, despite the fact she’s an introvert and it wouldn’t have been her first choice, and how Fox did his first rope scene in a very Fox-way. They also talk about the risks of doing your first scene or suspension from a photo (and why it’s probably not a great idea), and co-created scenes versus rigger-led. And finally they share two simple ideas that you could steal or build on for your own first scene, if you’re feeling a bit blank about it all, one sexual, and one non-sexual. (For the first half of this episode, where we talk about the other things you need to do to prepare for your first scene, from safety to practicalities, listen to episode 14.) ### Let us know in the comments here on Fetlife: What was your first rope scene? Share as much detail as you like below.