Moonshot Mentor with Laverne McKinnon

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comHave you ever hit a big milestone—one you thought would feel amazing—and instead, you’re like, “Wait, that’s it?”You got the job. You crossed the finish line. You checked the box. And five minutes later, you’re already on to the next thing. Or worse—you feel a little empty, maybe even disappointed.I don’t think that’s because you’re ungrateful. I think it’s because you’ve been living by someone else’s definition of success. And if you’re wondering where those definitions come from, look no further than the culture we’re raised in. It feeds us a script about what “making it” should look like.The Success Playbook We Rarely QuestionIn the U.S., we live in a capitalist-first culture. And whether we realize it or not, we’re spoon-fed a script about what “success” should look like. It usually sounds like this:* Make a lot of money.* Get the big job title.* Work long hours—because hustle equals ambition.* Collect degrees and credentials.* Show it all off with travel, brands, and lifestyle.Now, none of this is bad. Honestly, some of it can be great. But here’s the catch: if you’re chasing these things because you think you should—or because that’s what everyone around you is doing—you’re going to feel sorta hollow and empty when you get there.The Comparison GameAnd then there’s comparison. We look around and think, “Well, they did it, so maybe I should too.”That’s exactly what happened when I went for my MBA. Most of the business leaders I admired had one. So I thought, okay, I need that too. And while that degree never once got me hired, I’ll admit it gave me confidence in a boardroom.But let’s be real—that’s not the degree speaking. That’s me outsourcing my self-worth to a piece of paper. What I really wanted was authority and belonging.That’s what comparison does: it makes you believe if you just had the thing—the degree, the Fendi handbag, the fancy beach or ski vacation—you’d finally feel successful. Spoiler: you will, but only if that’s how you define success.Redefining SuccessHere’s the shift: success isn’t a moving target. It’s a way of life. And the only way to feel it—really feel it—is to define it for yourself.Here’s a little exercise I use with my clients (and myself):* Write down your definition of success. Don’t overthink it—just get it on paper.* Ask yourself: Why is this my definition? Write down the answer.* Ask again: Why is that the answer?* And one more time: Why is this the answer?Each “why” pulls you deeper—past surface-level goals into the values and purpose underneath.Let me show you how this played out for me.Back in 2017, here was my definition of success:* Land a fabulous, high-profile job.* Finish a vomit draft of my book by the end of the year.* Lose 10 pounds.Here’s what happened when I put that list through the “why” filter:High-profile job* Why? Because I wanted to feel important and respected.* Why? Because I thought if people admired me, I’d finally feel secure.* Why? Because underneath all the ambition was a fear that without status, I wasn’t enough.Finish a book draft* Why? Because I wanted to be able to say I was an author.* Why? Because I thought having “author” next to my MBA would make me more legitimate.* Why? Because I believed credibility came from labels, not from having something meaningful to say.Lose 10 pounds* Why? Because I wanted to look like I belonged in Los Angeles.* Why? Because the beauty standards here are unforgiving.* Why? Because I thought if I fit the mold, I’d be more lovable.Unpacking each of these so called definitions of success showed me that none of them connected to my actual values. They were all seeking external validation - and they were goals, not ways of being. No wonder I felt an odd sense of emptiness and like “what, that’s it?”Here’s how I define success today: Listen with curiosity, courage, and compassion while creating content and experiences that help people love, learn, and laugh.See the difference? Instead of goals shaped by comparison and culture, this definition is rooted in what matters to me. It’s not something I can check off a list. It’s something I can live into every single day.The Bottom LineCulture and comparison will always offer you a version of success. But if you don’t stop and ask whether it’s really yours, you’re going to keep hitting milestones that don’t mean anything to you.So grab a pen. Write your definition. Ask why, and then ask why again. And don’t stop until you land on something that feels like you or gives you clarity on what needs to be course corrected. Because success isn’t out there waiting for you at the next finish line. It’s in how you’re living your life today.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Why Can’t I Stick With It? 🔄* Is Uncertainty Blocking Your Career Growth?* Unlocking Your Life PurposePerks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Career Strategy with Laverne McKinnon is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Journal PromptsHere are 4 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. These will help you dig deeper into your own definition of success and notice where culture and comparison may have shaped it.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comHere’s the thing about growth: quick wins will get you moving, but mastery? Mastery changes you.Don’t get me wrong. Quick wins are great. They give you that hit of momentum, a shot of confidence, the little push that says, “Hey, I can do this.” But they only take you so far.Mastery though is a game changer. It’s when a skill or a practice stops being something you check off a list and becomes part of who you are. It’s what fuels your career for the long haul — the kind of thing that opens doors, keeps you relevant, and makes the work feel meaningful.Quick wins are sparks. Mastery is the bonfire.So here’s the real question: are you building sparks…or are you building a fire that’s going to keep you lit for years to come? Both are important, but at some point if you want longevity, develop your mastery.What’s the Value of Mastery?So what makes mastery worth chasing? Because it’s not just about getting better at a skill. Mastery expands who you are. It deepens your presence, strengthens your sense of purpose, and transforms the way you move through the world. Here are a few of the gifts mastery brings:Depth of skill: Mastery takes you beyond competence into artistry. It’s the difference between playing the notes and making music.Identity and confidence: Over time, your practice stops being something you do and becomes part of who you are. Confidence flows not from performance, but from presence.Strategic advantage: In a crowded, competitive world, mastery gives you vision. It sets you apart because you can see patterns, anticipate challenges, and deliver results with precision and reliability.Resilience: The long arc of mastery builds patience and persistence. You don’t crumble when you hit setbacks — you’ve trained yourself to see them as part of the process, not the end of the story.Fulfillment: At its heart, mastery is about joy. The joy of immersion, of purpose, of knowing your work holds meaning beyond the moment.My StoryFor me, the pursuit of mastery has been a long road. Back in 2015, when I earned my very first coaching certification, I set my sights on the highest credential offered by the International Coaching Federation: Master Certified Coach (MCC). Think of it like a doctor finishing residency and passing their boards — it signals the highest level of trust and expertise in the field.I knew from the start this wasn’t going to be a quick win. Here’s what the MCC requires:* 2,500 hours of coaching experience* 200 hours of coach-specific education* 10 hours of mentored coaching* A three-hour written exam* Demonstrated mastery of ICF Core Competencies* Demonstrated mastery of the ICF Code of Ethics* A performance evaluation* And yes, a significant financial investmentIt took me almost a decade to check all those boxes. And along the way, I learned what mastery actually demands.Depth of skill: I had to stop hiding behind my intellect — the planning, the strategizing, the note-taking. Mastery required me to be fully present. To listen not just with my ears, but with my gut and my heart. The day I stopped taking notes and just trusted myself, was a huge a breakthrough. And I thought: This is what depth feels like.Identity and confidence: I’ve always been that straight-A student who wanted to nail it the first time. But with getting my MCC, I spent eight months under supervision with a mentor coach who told me, over and over, “Not yet.” I wasn’t hitting the competencies. It was so frustrating. It was really difficult to let go of the gold-star mentality and learn to trust the process instead of proving myself through timelines or perfect scores. It was humbling to keep failing — and freeing.Strategic advantage: Yes, MCC gives me credibility on paper — more opportunities in corporate training and executive coaching. But the real advantage is what’s been happening inside. I feel more grounded, proud, and certain. That confidence fuels my vision and gives me the guts to make bigger moves.Resilience: The final stretch just about knocked me down. Months of supervision, performance reviews, and the exam were harder than getting my MBA. I burned out more than once. But it was never about the coaching — that part has always been clear to me. What got foggy was why I wanted the MCC. With the support of my mentor, I realized it was bigger than me just wanting the validation of excellence. It was about impact. About showing up in the deepest way possible for my clients. To keep going, I had to reconnect with my purpose — helping people cross their own finish lines — and anchor myself in three of my values: love, laughter, and learning. That’s what pulled me through.Fulfillment: At the end of the day, it’s sorta weird to recognize the real fulfillment isn’t the credential itself. It’s the proof (as Glennon Doyle says) that I can do hard things. Knowing that changes everything. It gives me courage to dream bigger, to be less afraid of not being perfect, and to learn faster when I stumble. And honestly? It just brings me joy. A lightness. The wisdom that as long as I stay connected to my values and purpose, I can take on hard things and succeed.Bottom LineHere’s the truth: quick wins will always have their place. But if you want longevity, advancement, and real fulfillment, you’ve got to invest in mastery. And the good news? You don’t need a decade-long certification to start.Here are three simple ways to begin building your own bonfire:* Pick one skill and go deeper. Instead of spreading yourself thin, choose a skill that matters in your career and commit to developing it over the long term. Depth creates distinction.* Reconnect with your values. Mastery isn’t just about hours logged — it’s fueled by purpose. Ask yourself: Why does this matter to me? That answer will keep you going when the road gets tough.* Model growth for others. Whether you’re a senior leader or mid-career professional, show your team, peers, or even your family what it looks like to keep learning. Growth inspires growth.Quick wins light the spark. Mastery keeps the fire burning. The question is: what fire do you want to tend?If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Is It Time For A New Career?* Let Go Of Career Missteps* Are You Missing The Magic In Your Career?Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Journal PromptsHere are three prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. They’re designed to help you explore where quick wins have served you well, and where mastery might bring deeper fulfillment.

Laverne shares her eye-opening experience of losing her job and the complex grief that followed. She delves into the emotional turmoil of being fired, emphasizing how society often dismisses career losses as unimportant. Grief isn't a sign of weakness; it's a natural response to losing something significant. Introducing the RISE framework, she offers actionable steps to navigate through grief, including recognizing hidden losses and creating meaningful rituals. Ultimately, Laverne empowers listeners to validate their feelings and reclaim their agency in the face of career grief.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comIt’s been two months since my little dog Roo died. Not exactly a strong hook for a post about career strategy. But I feel compelled to share this personal information because life keeps on life-ing despite the plans we make for our professional lives. And I think it’s important to make that okay and carve out space.I think most of us are pretty good at holding boundaries when a personal commitment pops up — a friend comes into town, your kids soccer game, a graduation ceremony. We step away, take a day or two, and then we return.But what happens when it’s not a “one and done” thing? What happens in the weeks and months that follow, when you’re still grieving, but the world assumes you’re back to normal?In our society, you’re often given a weekend, maybe a few days, to attend a memorial service or sit shiva. Then there’s an unspoken expectation that the mourning period is over and you can get back to work.Well, grief doesn’t work on a capitalist timetable. It works uniquely on yours. And in those early days and weeks — sometimes the first year — you may look fine on the outside but feel completely dismantled on the inside.Roo’s StoryIt was a Tuesday when Roo started to cough-hack every few hours. I thought it was allergies, or maybe he wasn’t drinking enough water. By Friday, he was only eating once per day, lethargic, and his breathing had become “panty.” I googled his symptoms and got the range of a respiratory infection all the way to cancer. But I held out hope that he would get better with my TLC.On Sunday morning, I called the emergency hospital and asked if his symptoms warranted going in. They said to bring him in immediately. When we arrived, a crew of three technicians ran out the back and took him from my arms. A half hour later the vet told us it was congestive heart failure and all we could do was make him comfortable. They gave him diuretics and oxygen and we brought him home.He rebounded for about a day, but his breath rate started to climb and I knew it was time. I can’t say the words let alone write them. Maybe enough time hasn’t gone by.Roo died on Wednesday, August 20 at 3:15 pm PST. He was surrounded by his family, wrapped in his favorite blanket.Grief and WorkIt’s been surreal mourning while being a grief coach. I know so much, and it changes nothing. Maybe it changes the naming — I can watch myself from a distance and say, “Oh, I’m in the raw and tender stage.” The stage where everything is a first: the first dinner without him, the first night without him, the first morning, the first time watching TV. He really loved our couch time. I would say, “Roo it’s time!” He would run across the foyer, leap into our sunken living room, and hop on the coach. His little head poking over the pillows watching me make my way.There is no “hardest.” It’s all hard.And then work comes knocking at the door. What to do?I gave myself some space. The day after he died, I didn’t — I worked, because I needed a break from my crying so hard my entire face was swollen. Then I took a few days off. Then eased back in. Ten days later, I was fully back in my desk chair. My head and heart were not.Did I make the wrong decision? I don’t know. I do know that staying connected to something I love — client work — has been very helpful. The giant hole in my soul is soothed by helping others. But not all the time. I cancelled three times on one client because I couldn’t be present. She’s also an animal lover who has lost many pets so I knew she would truly understand, and she did.This is the reality of grief at work. It doesn’t disappear after a weekend. And while jobs and bills demand that we show up, we also have to be vigilant and compassionate with ourselves. If we don’t find ways to care for ourselves, burnout will bite us. Hard.Practical Guidance: How to Work While GrievingIn the early days after Roo died, I found myself swinging between extremes. One day I would bury myself in work because I needed relief from my sadness. The next, I couldn’t face my laptop at all. Both choices were valid. Grief isn’t linear — and neither is our ability to work through it.If you’re facing a similar season, here are a few ways to navigate work in those first weeks and months:* Adjust your expectations. Productivity won’t look the same. Instead of aiming for your usual capacity, ask: What’s essential today? What can wait? Shrinking the list gives you a greater chance of following through without burning out.* Communicate with care. Whether it’s your boss, your team, or a client, a simple message like, “I may need extra flexibility this week,” can make all the difference. But also remember: colleagues and clients are not your therapist or coach. Expecting them to fully understand your experience after a few weeks may set you both up for disappointment. Find support outside of work — friends, family, a counselor, or a support group — where your grief can be fully witnessed.* Build in recovery time. Grief is exhausting. Even short breaks to step outside, stretch, or sit in silence can help your nervous system reset. Think of it as scheduling grief alongside your meetings.* Anchor in what feels nourishing. Whether it’s a hot cup of cocoa, getting your nails done, treating yourself to lunch out, or listening to music on your commute — give yourself extra time and care for those small pleasures. They’re not frivolous. They’re ways of replenishing yourself when so much feels depleted.* Carry a keepsake. Sometimes pretending you’re not grieving while you’re on the job is more dysregulating than quietly acknowledging it. Having a small memento — a piece of jewelry, a photo, a favorite pen, or any object tied to your loved one — can provide comfort. Holding onto something tangible is a healthy way to feel a continued bond, a reminder you’re not carrying your loss alone.The truth is, there’s no single formula. Working while grieving is about tending to both sides of the equation: the professional obligations you must meet and the human need for gentleness. Hold them together with vigilance and compassion, and you’ll find your way through.Related Content* Is Grief Holding Me Back?* How Can Grief Boulders Turn To Butterflies?* Are There Grief Rules?Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Here are three journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. These are designed to help you reflect on how to navigate the tension between grief and productivity in your own life.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comGoals and outcomes go together like peanut butter and jelly. Popcorn and butter. Mustard and mayonnaise.One without the other just doesn’t quite work. And might leave you feeling out of sorts like you’re spinning your wheels—not clear if you’re making any actual progress in your career.A goal on its own is isolated and can lose direction easily. But pair it with an outcome, and suddenly you have motivation, inspiration, and drive.An outcome on its own putters along, every once in awhile sputtering along in fits and starts. But give it a goal, and now it has gas in the tank.Understanding the difference between the two—and learning how to link them—is the key to building a career that has momentum and resonance.The Key DistinctionA goal is concrete and measurable. It’s the equivalent of plugging an address into Google Maps—step by step, turn by turn, until you arrive.An outcome in the Moonshot universe, on the other hand, is about how you want to feel once you arrive. It’s not the GPS directions to Venice Beach—it’s the desire to spend the day in the sun, relaxed and carefree.Here’s the difference in practice:* Goal = get promoted → Outcome = feel valued.* Goal = find a new job → Outcome = feel financially secure.* Goal = pivot careers → Outcome = feel happy.* Goal = expand your network → Outcome = feel connected and supported.* Goal = complete a certification → Outcome = feel capable and prepared for a career pivot or advancement.Now here’s a rub: You can get promoted and never feel valued. You can land the job and still feel insecure. You can pivot careers and be unhappy.That’s why it’s important to make sure your outcome and your goals are aligned with each other. After all, when peanut butter gets with jelly, it’s not just lunch—it’s a love story.Goals and Outcomes That Work Together, Stay TogetherI once spent invested a lot of money on a shaman when I was at a crossroads. After waiting patiently in line at a Viceroy Hotel conference room in Santa Monica, I had my chance for wisdom. The shaman told me, “Don’t go to New York expecting it to be San Francisco.”At the time, I was outraged by what I considered his flippant advice. And that it cost me a few thousand dollars. But eventually I got what he meant, and it’s helped me find peace and harmony in so many aspects of my life.If you seek a promotion to feel valued, you’re in the wrong city. A promotion can earn you more money, gain you more visibility, increase your responsibilities. But your value cannot be outsourced. It has to come from within.If you’re looking to pivot careers to feel happy, you’re in the wrong city. Pivoting careers can bring you fulfillment as an expression of your life purpose, but outsourcing your happiness is a recipe for disappointment.On the other hand, if you’re completing a certification to feel capable and prepared, you’re in the right city. Yay! Finally! Why? Because you’re not asking the certification to do something it can’t. Certifications are designed to teach and then show you that you do have the knowledge. That knowledge is what gives you confidence.The key here is to craft outcomes that are within your control. Any outcome that relies on other people will eventually frustrate you. You can’t make your boss respect you. You can’t make your company promote you. But you can set an outcome like: “I want to stay calm and assertive in difficult conversations.” That’s yours to own.Crafting Outcomes That Actually WorkHere are a few more tips to help you craft outcomes that will set you up for success.Positive framing. Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t. Saying “I don’t want to feel invisible at work” keeps you stuck in invisibility. Reframe it: “I want to feel recognized for my contributions.” That small shift gives you a direction to move toward.Specific and sensory. How will you know when you’ve arrived at your outcome? Anchor it in what you’ll see, hear, and feel. For example, if your outcome is “I want to feel confident in my role,” the markers might be making eye contact in meetings, speaking clearly without rushing, and feeling grounded instead of anxious.Values-driven. The best outcomes are rooted in what truly matters to you. If connection is a core value, then “expanding your network” isn’t just about LinkedIn requests—it’s about feeling supported and part of a community. When outcomes are tied to values, they carry staying power even when goals take longer than expected.When outcomes are positive, values-driven, and specific, they stop being lofty wishes and start becoming motivating guides.Giving Your Outcomes Gas in the TankOnce your outcome is well-formed, it’s time to put it into motion by turning it into goals—the step-by-step actions that bring it to life.Take this example: Outcome = “I want to feel confident at work.”* Goal 1: Speak up once in every meeting.* Goal 2: Take a presentation skills workshop.* Goal 3: Track weekly wins to build momentum.Here’s another example: Outcome = “I want to feel financially secure.”* Goal 1: Build a six-month emergency savings fund.* Goal 2: Track monthly income and expenses.* Goal 3: Apply for three higher-paying roles by year’s end.The outcome is the flavor. The goals are the bread that holds it together. On their own, they don’t satisfy. But when you stack them together, you don’t just get progress—you get a career that actually tastes like fulfillment.Bottom LineGoals without outcomes can feel empty. Outcomes without goals remain wishes.When you align the two, you don’t just achieve milestones—you create a career that feels purposeful, secure, connected, and satisfying.Related Content* Why Do We Make Desperate Choices? * How People Pleasing Screws Up Achieving Your Goals* What Are The Seven Big Mistakes Of Goal Setting?Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Journal PromptsHere are 4 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. Use these to clarify the outcomes that matter most to you and ensure your goals actually align.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comMany of us hold beliefs like: education opens doors, avoiding conflict keeps the peace, or opportunity is everywhere if we just look hard enough. These sound noble, but they can be more mistaken than true.In challenging times, we lean on our beliefs to carry us through. But some of them hurt us more than they help.This week, I’m reposting one of my most popular blogs for anyone feeling frustrated, stuck, or angry. One reason you may feel this way is that your belief system doesn’t match reality—and that realization can be painful.The way forward? Test your beliefs against the evidence. Ask: is this belief helping me, or is it holding me back?Mistaken beliefs and super glue are like two peas in a pod: fast, versatile, strong, easy to use, and inexpensive. They also work pretty well until you get some stuck on your fingers and lose the ability to use your phalanges.Take this mistaken belief: If I work hard, I will be successful.This belief developed as a result of comparing myself to others. I frequently came up short because of doubts about my talent, the depth of my experience, and whether I knew the right people. So, to counter these uncomfortable thoughts, I chose to take one thing I do—work hard—and make that into a way of being and a belief.This leads to another mistaken belief. If I’m successful, then I’m worthy of promotion, financial validation, and respect.Which then leads to: If I’m worthy of promotion, financial validation, and respect then I am lovable.Now I know the truth: everyone, including myself, is worthy of love without having to jump through hoops. However, belief frequently outweighs the truth.What Is A Mistaken Belief?A mistaken belief, according to Psychology Today, is “when someone has objective evidence that doesn’t support their belief, but these beliefs still govern their lives and motivate their actions.”It’s a concept that has been studied numerous times without clear results of why we believe what we believe – even when there is counterfactual evidence.For those who are looking to move ahead in their career, a close examination of whether your beliefs are helpful, hurtful, or mistaken can help clear the path to achieving your goals.The Purpose Of A Mistaken BeliefWhat I’ve come to realize is that the purpose of a mistaken belief is to be the super glue that holds our dreams and our actions together. If I dream X, then it will happen if I do Y. Let me give you a few examples to bring this alive.Let’s go back to: If I work hard enough, I will be successful. One of my dreams was to work in prime-time drama development at a network. This dream evolved when I was working in prime-time current, which is the role at a network or studio that creatively supervises TV series that are currently on the air.My challenge was that I was new to working in prime-time, having come out of children’s programming and animation for almost six years. I doubted my credibility, was concerned that I didn’t know who the players were, and didn’t know the “rules of engagement.” The underlying belief with these doubts is that “I need to know and not have a learning curve.”So I chose to work harder to try to hide my shortcomings: I was the first to read scripts, the first to have my thoughts organized, the first in the office (and the last to leave), and said yes to meeting with any writer or director who was interested.While there was evidence that people were getting promoted who didn’t do what I did, I refused to look at what made them successful. I was convinced I wasn’t as talented as them, so I needed to focus on what was within my grasp: working harder.So, this dream of being successful (getting promoted) was glued to the mistaken belief that it would happen if I worked harder.A few more mistaken beliefs related to being successful from my time clawing my way up the corporate ladder:* Morning people are successful: if I wake up early enough then I will be more prepared and energized, and yet there were dozens of executives higher up the ladder who didn’t get into the office until 10:00 am.* I need years of experience to be successful: if I can just stay in the “game” long enough, success will come my way, and yet there were a few executives who held more senior positions and were much younger.* Knowing the right people will help me be successful: if I can just network more and better, then I will have the necessary advocates (and maybe a mentor!) to be successful, and yet I had a good friend who didn’t come from an agency background and had no high-visibility friends and was still named head of a department at a major studio.Mistaken Beliefs Have ConsequencesUnfortunately, we can’t escape the downside of holding mistaken beliefs. Here’s the thing about them: mistaken beliefs like super glue rapidly bond to skin, can burn the eyes, repeated inhalation can cause dizziness, and when they set, they’re brittle. Let’s break the metaphor down:* Mistaken beliefs will stick to you like super glue. Once they touch the vulnerable parts of your heart or intellect, they will not let go, and they will feel like the truth, which makes them difficult to unstick.* Mistaken beliefs cloud your vision and stop you from seeing all the data. They burn the part of you that is the truth seeker and keep you small. Only the truth can move you forward.* Repeated use of mistaken beliefs will cause dizziness and drowsiness because they suck the oxygen out of your ability to thoroughly analyze a situation and choose the best option to move forward. So, you are not operating at full capacity.* Mistaken beliefs are brittle. They hold on and hold on until you have to break it off in order to be set free.More Examples Of Mistaken BeliefsIt can be challenging to identify your mistaken beliefs because (as I said) they can feel like the truth.One of the best ways to learn and see your mistaken beliefs is through hearing other people’s mistaken beliefs. Sometimes, we don’t even know that we have mistaken beliefs until we see how they operate in other people. I saw this phenomenon when leading a discussion about mistaken beliefs with a group of indie producers I led through my coaching practice.Here’s a smattering of some of those beliefs (I have permission to share them publicly). You may recognize some or all!* Everyone has to be happy* I must be fast to go far* It’s a young person’s game* Other people’s opinions hold more value* Work has to come first* You have to be in LA to be successful* Have to choose a lane* The younger you are, the more opportunities* I don’t have the right face shape to be successful* I need to have all the skills* If I say no, I won’t be asked again* I have to put myself out there more* I got in too late* Money sources are only good for money and should be kept at a distance* You are retired when you have kids* Projects need to be packaged in order to sell* It’s important to time the marketplace* Need to have a big budget to have production value* Latino film has to have a certain look / feel / aestheticThese beliefs hurt my heart — I can think of at least one instance in which each one of these statements is factually inaccurate. And yet, they are treated as universal truths and become the guardrails in which we conduct ourselves professionally.Do you see how limiting these beliefs are? The consequences of living these beliefs include:* Not meeting one’s potential* Living other people’s values* Missing opportunities* Not meeting your definition of successIf you’re wondering why you are stuck, there’s a chance you are operating under mistaken beliefs.Now What?Identifying and unpacking mistaken beliefs requires great, great, great courage. It also involves self-compassion, empathy, and grace. It demands curiosity, patience and a microscope.Course correcting from mistaken beliefs is not a light switch that you can easily switch on or off. The beliefs become ingrained in our thinking and way of being. Vigilance and tenacity are the handrails as you cross the bridge from mistaken belief to truth.So, how to go about confronting mistaken beliefs, if you’re so inclined:* Examine your beliefs by writing them down. Consider the beliefs that were taught to you by your primary caregivers. Talk to a trusted friend about what they see. Work with a therapist or coach.* Look for the evidence, facts, and the truth to support your belief. If there is none, look for a value to honor instead of the mistaken belief. For example, when I have the compulsion to work harder to get ahead, I choose to value compassion. The compassion allows me to check in with myself about arbitrary deadlines I may have set in order to feel successful.* If there’s data to support your belief, then assess whether the belief you hold is helpful or hurtful. This is a tricky step because you may think a belief is helpful when the data shows you that it’s not. With the work harder belief, I had excellent results for years until I reached a point of diminishing returns. I was exhausted by developing multiple projects as a producer but not selling at the same rate as in previous years.* If you determine that a belief is hurtful, then choose a value to honor instead. With the realization that my sales quota had fallen, I course corrected to value curation over volume.For many of my clients, their mistaken beliefs take a tremendous toll on their relationships, family, and overall well-being. I had one client whose belief that he needed to write every single day in order to launch his career in the entertainment industry caused him so much stress that he withdrew from his wife and kids. They were contemplating separation when we started to work together. After several sessions, we discovered that my client works best when writing in sprints. He thought he was doing writing wrong because he struggled with a daily writing schedule. When he learned that successful writers have a wide variety of processes, he recognized that he was holding a mistaken belief. My client was able to negotiate time to write in 2-3 day clusters, and it relieved his stress and addressed his family’s need for his presence.Bottom LineIn the end, mistaken beliefs seem useful and reliable until you realize they don’t actually serve you. They might feel like the truth, but they cloud your vision, sap your energy, and hold you back. The key is recognizing them and gently peeling them away.Examining our beliefs, especially the mistaken ones, takes courage and self-compassion. It’s about being curious and patient with ourselves. Write down your beliefs, discuss them with trusted friends or professionals, and look for evidence that supports or refutes them. Replace hurtful beliefs with values that truly serve you.When we let go of mistaken beliefs, we create space for healthier, more empowering truths. This shift isn’t instantaneous—it’s a journey of continuous learning and self-awareness. But in doing so, we open ourselves to more authentic success and fulfillment, both personally and professionally. So, take a deep breath, grab your metaphorical acetone, and start ungluing those mistaken beliefs. Your future self will thank you.Related Content* How Your Identity Is Stopping You From Achieving Your Goals* How To Tame Your Inner Critic* My Kid Isn’t Going To College …Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Journal PromptsHere are five journal prompts to help you explore and understand the themes of mistaken beliefs and their impact on your life:

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comOn paper, Deborah has it all. She’s the CFO of a well-known accounting firm in Boston. Married for 23 years, three healthy kids, a vacation home on the Cape. Her LinkedIn profile is stacked with awards and promotions. If you asked anyone around her, they’d tell you she’s “made it.”So why, in her own words, is she “not doing well.”It’s because Deborah’s been chasing achievements instead of building accomplishments.Achievements vs. AccomplishmentsHere’s how I think about it.Achievements are the things that get noticed. A new title, a big award, a parking space with your name on it. A lot of times they translate into bullet points on your resume.Accomplishments feel different. They don’t always show up on LinkedIn, but you know when you’ve had one. It’s the pride you feel after mentoring a colleague and seeing them get that promotion. Or the satisfaction of preparing hard for a meeting and knocking it out of the ball park. Or the moment at the coffee pot when you slow down long enough to lend a compassionate ear to a work buddy.Achievement is about recognition. Accomplishment is about fulfillment.Both matter. But when achievements become the sole measure of success, they start to feel like cotton candy. Delicious going down, but not enough sustenance to get you through the day. That’s where Deborah finds herself.Why Achievements Hook UsThere’s a reason it’s so easy to get caught up in the achievement chase. Each time someone applauds us—or clicks “like” on something we post—our brain gives us a little chemical pat on the back. A dopamine hit. It feels good, but it doesn’t last. So we keep chasing after the next one.Add in the cultural stories we’ve all been told—success equals climbing ladders, stacking trophies, hitting milestones—and it’s no wonder most of us go after achievements like they’re a Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.And when we don’t get it? Anxiety spikes. Stress hormones like cortisol rise. We find ourselves working harder, cancelling social get-togethers, and pushing through exhaustion—all in pursuit of validation that evaporates as soon as it arrives.This is what I call “success fatigue.” It’s not that Deborah hasn’t achieved incredible things. It’s that those achievements no longer sustain her. Without that deeper anchor of living her values, the ladder she’s been climbing feels like it’s leaning against the wrong wall.The Cost of Chasing Achievements AloneWhen we measure our worth solely through achievements, three things happen:* We burn out. The constant striving for external validation keeps our nervous systems on high alert. We push past our limits, telling ourselves we can rest after the next big milestone.* Our self-esteem gets fragile. If our value depends on others’ approval, it only takes one missed promotion or disappointing performance review to send us spiraling.* We feel empty. Even after the big wins, there’s still that voice asking, Is this it? Is there more?That’s what keeps Deborah up at 3 a.m.The Case for AccomplishmentAccomplishments tell a different story. They’re not about recognition. They’re about resonance.When we do work that aligns with our values, it builds confidence that doesn’t crumble when someone else gets promoted. Think about the difference between receiving an industry award (an achievement) and creating a system that makes your team’s work easier for years to come (an accomplishment). One gets you applause. The other leaves a ripple of impact long after you’ve moved on.Accomplishments are sustainable fuel. They don’t depend on whether your boss notices or your industry hands you a plaque. They depend on whether your work connects to your values.How to ShiftIf you’re reading this and thinking, Yep, that’s me. I’ve been chasing achievements, you’re not alone.Here are a few small places to start:* Ask “why” before saying yes. Is the thing you’re looking to achieve tied to your values, or is it just about keeping up?* Notice the wins no one else sees. Keep a journal of the things that made you proud, even if nobody clapped.* Celebrate the process. Your growth counts, even if the outcome isn’t flashy.* Write your own definition of success. Not your boss’s version. Not your industry’s. Yours.These practices don’t mean abandoning achievements altogether. They mean putting them in their place—they’re external proof, not the whole story.Coming Back to DeborahDeborah’s starting to realize her accomplishments have been there all along. They just weren’t the ones she was measuring.The pro bono work she championed that helped a nonprofit keep its doors open. The financial lessons she taught her teenage son. The colleague she coached through her first big role.Those are the things that light her up.Achievements decorate a resume. Accomplishments nourish a life.And when we start measuring success from the inside out, fulfillment stops feeling like something just out of reach—and starts feeling like something we can actually touch.Bottom LineOn paper, Deborah has it all—title, family, recognition, even the Cape house. But in her own words, she’s “not doing well.”That’s the trap of chasing achievements. They look impressive, but they don’t always bring fulfillment.Accomplishments, on the other hand, connect us back to our core values. They don’t just show what we’ve done—they remind us who we are.If your list of achievements hasn’t left you feeling satisfied, maybe it’s time to measure success differently.Related Content* Are You A Workaholic?* Feeling Taken Advantage Of At Work?* Is Your Career Missing Purpose?Moonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Perks for Paid SubscribersHere are three journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. They’ll help you explore how to shift from achievement to accomplishment.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.com“My industry wants a divorce, but I don’t.” - AnonymousFirst off, I’m so sorry you’re being dumped. That really really sucks, no two ways about it. If we were best friends, I would rally to your side with a couple of pints of Talenti dark chocolate gelato, a cashmere throw, a bottle of your favorite wine, these very cute slippers from Nordic Peace and a list of fabulous tv series to binge and escape from the brutality of what you’re experiencing.It truly feels like the break-up bug is everywhere. Hollywood might be the dramatic spouse in this story—Los Angeles unemployment is sitting closer to 6.5% while the national rate is just over 4%—but it’s hardly alone. Hotels and restaurants are ghosting their workers, with jobless rates around 6.4%. Gaming had a full-on messy split last year when one in ten developers got cut. And manufacturing and construction? They’ve been quietly packing their bags for months. Wherever you look, industries are walking out the door and leaving their people to pick up the pieces.So how do you mourn the loss of your career when you don’t want to stop working but the work is no longer available to you?Step One: Say OuchThe first step after any break-up—personal or professional—is to admit it hurts. Say “ouch.” Literally. There’s science behind it: in one study , people who dunked their hands in icy water lasted longer if they said “ow” out loud, and researchers found pain tolerance jumped about 20% just by vocalizing. Turns out giving your pain a voice creates enough distraction that your body can cope.But in Hollywood culture, and really, in a lot of industries, we don’t say “ouch.” We’re taught to keep it moving, to jump straight to “What’s next?” The trouble is, if you skip over the pain, it lingers. It’s like pretending you’re fine after the divorce papers land on your doorstep, when what you really need to do first is cry, scream, or curl up with that pint of gelato.Saying “ouch” is your way of signaling to the universe: this hurts, something is wrong here. Only once you’ve acknowledged that can you figure out what comes next.Step Two: Sadness or Grief?After you’ve said “ouch,” the next step is to figure out what you’re actually dealing with … because sadness and grief aren’t the same thing.Sadness is a temporary emotion. It’s the slump you feel when you get a pass on a pitch, miss out on a client, or get sidelined on a project. You bounce back.Grief runs deeper and is complex. It includes sadness, but you may also feel shock, anger, distress, confusion, or numbness. Grief is the natural response to a severed attachment—the same way heartbreak lingers long after divorce papers are delivered.Career grief is especially heavy because it doesn’t just touch your job—it impacts how you see yourself, where you belong, and what purpose you serve. It’s not “just” about the paycheck or the title. It’s about the story you told yourself about who you were and where you were headed. That’s why grief feels harder to shake.And here’s where it connects back to the central question: How do you mourn the loss of a career you didn’t want to end? Distinguish whether you’re sad or grieving. If it’s sadness, immerse in self-care until the ouch passes. If it’s grief, give yourself permission to mourn. Acknowledge the shock and distress of divorce papers being served, regardless of whether the divorce actually goes through.Step Three: Do You Wait or Do You Leave?Once you’ve said “ouch”, clarified whether you’re sitting with sadness or grief (and given yourself permission to mourn), it’s time to ask: Do I wait for “reconciliation”, or do I pivot my career?This is the limbo of career grief. You don’t want the split. You’d happily keep working if the work was there. But what happens when the other party—the industry, the company, the field—steps away? Do you hold out hope, or do you begin to imagine what comes after?There’s no universal answer. Without a crystal ball, you’re left to lean on what matters most: your values.What value am I honoring if I stay and wait?What value am I honoring if I decide to leave?Psychotherapist Esther Perel reminds us that separation isn’t always failure. Sometimes it’s a reorganization into something different, healthier, or more honest. That wisdom applies here too. Even if you didn’t want this “divorce,” it may be asking you to look at deeper truths: What needs weren’t being met? How has your identity shifted? What kind of relationship with work do you want going forward?And here’s where the mourning deepens. It’s not just about grieving what’s ended, but also the imagined future that may never come. That’s why the question of moving on versus moving forward matters so much.Step Four: Moving Forward, Not Moving On“Moving on” feels like: get over it, forget about it, it never really mattered. For those who don’t want to move on, of course that feels unbearable.In grief, we don’t move on. We move forward. The love you had for your role or your industry remains, but it transforms. Moving forward means the history, talent, and experiences you built are not erased—they come with you as you begin to shape what’s next.So, how do you mourn the loss of a career you didn’t want to end? You give yourself permission to move forward—honoring what was, carrying its meaning with you, and allowing space for something new to take shape.Bottom LineAt the beginning, I said if we were best friends, I’d show up with gelato, a cashmere throw, wine, and cozy slippers. And while I can’t actually deliver those, I can remind you of this: mourning a career loss is messy, tender, and deeply human.Sometimes the industry files for divorce and you’re left holding the papers. You may not have wanted it, but here you are. Saying ouch, distinguishing sadness from grief, sitting in the uncertainty, and choosing to move forward — these are the ways you honor the loss and yourself.Gelato melts, jobs come and go, industries reorganize. But your values, your self-respect, and your capacity to reimagine? Those stay with you. That’s how you begin to move forward — even when the ending wasn’t yours to choose.Related Content* The 3 Things to Do After You Lose Your Job* Why Does My Career Setback Still Bother Me?* How Do You Rewrite Your Career Story?Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Here are four journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor subscribers. These questions are designed to help you reflect on the “divorce papers” your career may have handed you — and what mourning and moving forward might look like.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comThe Value of a Summary on Your ResumeI’ll admit it—I’m a self-professed control freak. Which is exactly why I love a summary at the top of a resume.Think about the power of first impressions. Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or skimming a document, those opening lines set the tone for everything that follows. Psychologists call this the primacy effect—we tend to remember what comes first more than what comes later. A summary works the same way on a resume: it primes the reader’s brain, frames your story, and helps recruiters know what to pay attention to.Here’s an example. If someone introduces me to their friend Jack, I’m inclined to see him as trustworthy because of the connection. If they introduce him as their plumber, I immediately assess him in a professional context—can he solve my problem? If they introduce him as a Harvard graduate, it’s just information—I don’t yet know what to make of it.Your resume summary functions the same way. It provides the lens through which the rest of your experience is read. Without it, recruiters are left to make their own assumptions.We used to be able to use functional resumes, which group skills into themes rather than timelines to control the narrative, but those rarely make it past the robots these days. Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) struggle with non-linear structures and can’t always connect the dots. Since most companies still rely on chronological resumes, a summary at the top becomes your best chance to control how your story gets read.What Is a Resume Summary (and Why It Replaced the Objective)?For decades, resumes typically began with an objective—a short statement about what the job seeker wanted. Something like, “Seeking a challenging marketing position where I can grow my skills and advance my career.”The problem? Objectives were entirely self-focused. They told the employer what you wanted, not what you could offer.Then the 2000s changed everything. Online job boards like Monster and CareerBuilder meant employers were flooded with resumes. Recruiters didn’t have time to read carefully—they skimmed. Meanwhile, Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) became standard, filtering applications by scanning for keywords from job postings. The result: hiring became faster, higher volume, and much more competitive.Enter the modern resume summary. Instead of focusing on the job seeker’s goals, the summary shifted the spotlight to the employer’s needs. It’s a short professional pitch—2 to 5 sentences—that:* Puts the employer first by highlighting your most relevant skills and achievements.* Uses keywords strategically to get noticed by both ATS and human readers.* Acts as a highlight reel, drawing the recruiter in and showing them at a glance how you can solve their problem.But the summary isn’t just a convenience. It’s also a framing device rooted in how our brains actually work:* Schema theory: By providing a frame—say, “Creative Executive transitioning into Project Management”—you prime the recruiter to look for the evidence that supports it.* Framing effect: The angle you choose shapes the interpretation. Call yourself a “strategic communicator,” and your experience reads differently than if you call yourself a “public relations specialist.”* Predictive coding: Our brains make predictions as we read. A summary primes those predictions so the recruiter naturally interprets your bullet points as proof of the story you’ve already set up.That’s why a resume summary has become so valuable. It’s not just a nice-to-have—it’s a tool to control the narrative. Instead of leaving a recruiter to draw their own conclusions, you hand them the lens through which to see your career.How to Write a Strong SummaryThe biggest mistake I see with summaries is that people treat them like packing for a family vacation—seven bathing suits, rash guards in every size, a pile of goggles, flip flops, sneakers, workout clothes, a sun hat, baseball cap, bucket hat, floppy hat, wide-brim beach hat… and that’s before the fancy dinner outfits, bags, and jackets. All crammed into one suitcase.Your summary is not a luggage cart of your entire career. It’s a go-bag: just the essentials that make you nimble, primed, and ready.So how do you actually write a summary that captures attention, frames your story, and signals to both humans and machines that you’re the right fit? A strong summary follows a few key principles:* Keep it short: 2–5 sentences.* Use keywords: Borrow directly from the job description to show alignment.* Tailor it for each role: Write your resume first, then craft your summary for that specific opening.* Include one concrete accomplishment: Numbers or outcomes make it real.* Skip personal pronouns: Keep the focus professional.If you need a place to start, here’s a simple formula (from Jobscan). Use it as a guide, then make it your own:[Job Title] with experience in [Skill 1], [Skill 2], and [Skill 3]. Proven ability to [Accomplishment 1] and [Accomplishment 2]. Known for [Work style, strength, or value you bring to the role].Examples of Weak vs. Strong SummariesI always find it helpful to see examples, but before we dive into those let’s be clear on what makes a summary weak versus what makes it strong.A weak summary is vague, generic, and self-focused. It tells the employer what you want but doesn’t show them what you can deliver. It lacks specifics, keywords, and measurable impact.A strong summary, on the other hand, is precise, employer-focused, and backed by proof. It highlights the value you bring, uses language from the job description, and gives the recruiter a reason to keep reading. It frames your story and makes it easy to connect the dots.Below are three examples of how that difference plays out in practice. Let’s start with a weak executive-level example that doesn’t do much heavy lifting:Weak:“Experienced communications professional with a background in media and leadership. Looking for a senior role where I can use my skills and help a company succeed.”Why it’s weak: It’s vague, self-focused, and filled with clichés. The phrases “experienced” and “looking for a senior role” could apply to thousands of candidates. There’s no evidence, no accomplishments, and no sense of what makes this person stand out.Here’s a stronger version of that same summary:Strong:“EVP of Communications with expertise in corporate strategy, media relations, and executive messaging. Proven ability to lead global teams and manage multi-million-dollar campaigns that elevate brand reputation and drive stakeholder engagement. Known for combining strategic vision with hands-on execution to deliver clear, compelling communications in high-stakes environments.”Why it’s strong: It leads with the title, signals seniority, and immediately names core strengths. Notice the use of action-driven phrases like “proven ability” and “known for.” It quantifies scope (global teams, multi-million-dollar campaigns) and shows impact (elevating brand reputation, driving engagement). This frames the candidate as a strategic leader who delivers results.Now let’s look at a career pivot.Weak:“Creative professional with experience in entertainment and production. Looking for a role that leverages my skills in management and strategy.”Why it’s weak: Again, it’s generic and self-focused. “Creative professional” could mean anything. “Looking for a role” tells us nothing about what the applicant can contribute. There’s no connection between past experience and the role they’re targeting.Strong (career pivot):“Creative Executive transitioning to Project Manager. Bringing 10 years of experience leading cross-functional teams with transferable strengths in strategic planning, budget management, and deadline execution. Known for delivering complex projects 15% under budget and improving team efficiency by 20%. Ready to apply proven leadership skills to fast-paced project environments.”Why it’s strong: It names the pivot directly—“transitioning to Project Manager”—and guides the recruiter’s lens. Transferable skills are spelled out, accomplishments are quantified, and the tone is confident. Instead of asking the recruiter to connect the dots, it does the work for them.And here’s how it works for someone just starting out.Weak:“Recent graduate seeking an entry-level position to learn new skills and gain experience.”Why it’s weak: This is purely self-oriented—it tells us what the candidate wants rather than what they offer. There are no specifics, no evidence, and nothing memorable.Strong (objective statement for a recent graduate):“Recent graduate with a B.A. in Communications and hands-on experience in digital media. Completed an internship managing content calendars and boosting engagement by 15%. Eager to bring strong writing skills, fresh ideas, and digital fluency to a growing marketing team.”Why it’s strong: It’s specific (degree + field), offers proof of experience (internship + 15% boost in engagement), and shifts the focus to what the graduate can contribute (skills, ideas, energy). It positions them as ready to add value, not just hoping to gain it.In a job market where recruiters spend seconds scanning resumes, your summary isn’t just an intro—it’s your headline, your hook, and your chance to control the story.Bottom LineA summary is your chance to control the narrative. Just like the way you’re introduced to “Jack” changes how you see him—friend, plumber, or Harvard grad—your summary sets the lens through which recruiters read your entire resume. Without it, they’re left to make snap judgments based on scattered details.Psychology tells us this matters: framing shapes interpretation, schemas guide what people notice, and the brain looks for patterns to confirm its first impression. By writing a focused, employer-centered summary, you’re not just listing skills—you’re directing how your career story gets processed, remembered, and valued.That’s why the summary isn’t filler. It’s strategy.Related Content* Why Am I Not Getting Interviews?* Do Bats Have A Smarter Career Strategy Than You?Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Here are four questions to help you reflect on the value of framing your career story through a resume summary:

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comIf you’ve ever dreamed of getting your book published by a traditional publisher, you’ve probably heard the same advice I did: “You need an agent.”Today I’m sharing exactly how I landed mine. The steps I took, what I’d do differently, and the three things I wish I’d known before I started.And if you’re not a writer? Think of this as a playbook for pitching yourself into any big opportunity — a job, a speaking engagement, a creative collaboration — where the answer is almost always “no” unless you make a compelling, strategic case.Step 1: Decide on Your Path — Traditional, Self, or Hybrid PublishingBefore you get too far down the road with writing your book, take a moment to think about which route you want to take to get your work into the hands of your ideal reader. Why does it matter? Because the path shapes every decision that follows — how you write, who you partner with, and how you plan to market. Clarity upfront helps you set realistic expectations and avoid burnout midstream. Here are your three routes:* Traditional Publishing – You sign with a publisher who covers editing, design, distribution, and some marketing. You get credibility and an advance, but the process takes longer and you’ll still carry much of the promotional work.* Self-Publishing – You control the whole process, from editing to cover design to marketing. It’s faster and royalties are higher, but all costs and logistics are on you.* Hybrid Publishing – You pay upfront for professional editing, design, and distribution services while keeping creative control. It blends traditional polish with self-publishing autonomy.I knew I wanted to first go for traditional publishing for two reasons:* Editorial partnership – I wanted to work with a seasoned editor who could help me reach the full potential of this book.* Infrastructure and distribution – While publishers no longer invest heavily in marketing, they do have systems in place that I couldn’t (and didn’t want to) build myself.If I don’t secure a traditional publisher, then I’ll most likely self-publish.Step 2: Prepare Your Proposal (Nonfiction) or Manuscript (Fiction)Nonfiction = proposal. Fiction = full manuscript. That was my first big lesson.Since I’m writing a non-fiction book, I needed a book proposal to send to publishing agents. A book proposal is basically a sales pitch for your book: part summary, part marketing plan, part writing sample. It convinces an agent or publisher to say yes.A publishing agent then submits to publishing houses on my behalf after I’ve done a rewrite of the proposal based on the feedback from the agent.I found free proposal templates online, asked my network for examples, and quickly realized I needed more than a template. I needed accountability, guidance and mentorship. I was in over my head, but had confidence I could swim with some help.I found my book proposal coach through a recommendation and knew after meeting her that she was the right fit. Her name is Patti Hall and I loved her energy, her immediate understanding of my vision and that she had worked with other first-time authors in my genre. We worked together for about nine months both 1:1 and in a group setting.To be transparent: I missed every deadline I set for myself. Writing the proposal was harder than I expected. Without Patti and the group support, I would have quit.Whether you’re writing a proposal or a manuscript, get super honest and clear about what will set you up for success in completing your work and go after it. (I found James Clear’s book Atomic Habits helpful in finding what motivates me: structure and the desire to be an A+ student.)Step 3: Research and Target the Right AgentsOnce I had my book proposal polished, I was ready to find a publishing agent. The two most helpful tools in figuring out which agents to submit to were QueryTracker (it’s free!) and my network. (Check out this blog about the value of “loose” connections in your network — a vast majority of people find help not from their closest connections.)QueryTracker is a subscription app that allows you to search for publishing agents by genre, see who’s open to queries, submit a query based on the agent’s preferences, and track submissions.Every agent has a different process. Some want an email submission with the proposal pasted into the body of the email. Others want it as a Word attachment (not a PDF which I found surprising). Some have a submission form that asks about the subject matter of your book, your social media profile, and your bio. From there, if they’re interested, they’ll request the full proposal.When I researched agents on QueryTracker, I asked myself:* Do they represent books like mine?* Do I connect with their sensibility?Have they recently sold projects in my category?When reaching out to my network, I didn’t discriminate because I had no idea who knew who. I said something like: “I’m looking for a nonfiction publishing agent, open to new authors, who works in the self-help space and might have an affinity for topics that are familiar but with a twist, like career grief.” About a dozen friends, or friends-of-friends, came back with recommendations and generously referred me so I had a soft landing as opposed to a cold email submission.A third tool I used was a bit more pie-in-the-sky, but still valuable. I curated a list of about 20 books that were similar to mine in category, topic, and style, then researched who the publishing agent was for each one. (I both googled for the answer and checked the acknowledgements in the book.) Most of those agents weren’t accepting query letters at the time, but I don’t regret the exercise.Step 4: Personalize Your Query LettersDon’t spray and pray. Personalization matters.I spent 20–30 minutes on each letter, even with a template that I created. I researched every agent and customized my pitch to reflect their recent deals or stated interests.Yes, I made mistakes. I once sent an agent I’ll call Taylor Casey a query that began, “Dear Casey” instead of “Dear Taylor.” 🤦🏽‍♀️ In fairness, she does have two first names. I caught it the second I hit send, freaked out, and tried to unsend, but the window closed before I could. I immediately followed up with an apology. To her credit, she wrote back a few days later, very kind, and said it definitely wasn’t the first time someone had called her Casey.I also used LinkedIn to see if I had direct or indirect connections to agents on my list, asking for introductions when I could.A quick run-down of my stats:* 137 total agents identified, but about ⅔ were not accepting submissions* 48 submitted queries over a three week period of time (it took that long to do my homework and personalize all the letters)* 29 non-responses* 15 rejections (14 cited low social media presence, 1 cited the writing)* 4 expressed interestThe non-responses didn’t bother me. Publishing etiquette is refreshingly clear compared to Hollywood: if you don’t hear within their stated window, it’s a pass. Simple. I was also delighted that some agents said that if I received interest to ping them, they would move my submission to the top of the pile.Step 5: Choose Your MatchI know that I was incredibly lucky to have interest from four agents. I met with them and asked:* What is your process? I was looking for someone who would do developmental work with me because I knew I still had so much to learn.* What would be your submission strategy? I was ready to trust them completely — I’ve never taken a book proposal out and had no interest in second-guessing an expert. That said, I love to learn, and strategy is my jam.* What creative notes do you have? This was the most important question. I wanted to be aligned on the direction of the book so we’d be working in tandem. Their feedback would also influence which editors and houses they targeted.It was a hard choice, but I signed with Jude Marwa at Peters Fraser + Dunlop (PFD) because:* Her creative feedback was sharp and specific* She partnered with a more seasoned agent at PFD in my category for when it came time to build strategy and make submissions* I could see her passion for the project and we have a mutual friend who trusts her implicitly.The truth? All four were amazing and I could not have made a bad decision. Sometimes there’s more than one “right” answer.Three Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started* Logline and bio: Before you dive into the process — whether it’s writing, working with a coach, sending queries, or meeting with agents — take the time to write three versions of your book description: one page, one paragraph, and one sentence. You’ll need this information handy when asking your network for support, submitting to potential agents and as you begin your own promotion.Your bio is just as critical. It’s what your network (and agent) will use when introducing you, what goes into your query, and honestly, what you’ll lean on so you don’t ramble when an agent (or editor) says, “Tell me about yourself.” Like the logline, have long, medium, and short versions ready.* Comparable titles are critical: Agents and publishers want to know where your book fits on the shelf. This means recent comps (within five years) that show market demand and leave space for your unique angle.* Expect the weather to change: Some days you’ll be stuck, blocked, or ready to quit. The clouds pass. The sun comes out. Clouds come back. The sun comes back.The Career Strategy Trojan HorseOn the surface, today’s post is about getting a literary agent. But the same principles apply to any ambitious career move:* Clarify your goal and path before you start pitching* Do the research so you’re aiming at the right opportunities* Get expert support to accelerate your learning curve* Personalize your pitch to the decision-maker* Accept rejection as data, not a verdict* Choose partners for fit, not flashBuilding my career as an author isn’t separate from my work as a coach, speaker, or workshop facilitator — it’s part of the same arc. I’m still growing, still pitching, still weathering the “no’s” and following the “yeses.”I’ll keep sharing the behind-the-scenes because I know so many of you are on your own long, winding road toward a big goal. We can be in it together!Bottom LineGetting a literary agent is a mix of persistence, strategy, and luck — but it’s also a mirror for any big career leap. Decide on your path, do the homework, keep pitching through the weather, and trust that the right partner will show up when preparation and opportunity intersect.This space isn’t just about reading—it’s about growing. Join the Moonshot Mentor community of paid subscribers and receive journal prompts that help you reflect, process, and move forward with clarity.Perks for Paid SubscribersMoonshot Mentor paid subscribers get weekly journal prompts to spark personal and professional growth, guided meditations to help them center, reflect, and reset, plus exclusive career development and career grief workshops that build clarity, resilience, and momentum.Here are four questions to help you reflect on your own “publishing path” — whether that’s a book, a career move, or another big opportunity: