Better Sex

I'm excited about the topic for this episode. We're going to be talking about both Masculine and Feminine Energy. I'm talking about this because it's relevant to sex and to our lives in general. We all have masculine and feminine energy, it's not about whether you're male or female bodied. It doesn't matter what kind of physical form you're in. Each of us has both types of energy, and it's important to be able to access and develop our sense of each of them in our lives. It's especially important in sex because it's the interplay between the two different energies that creates attraction. Masculine and feminine energy are like magnetic poles. If you have two that are alike, they can repel, and if they're different then they attract. That sort of tension or difference is what creates some vitality in a sexual attraction. And again, it's not about two different genders, but it's about having some interaction between those two different energies. It is helpful to learn about what those energies are, how they show up, what might block them, and what it's like to develop the one you're less comfortable in or spend less time in. That gives you more choice about how you show up in your sexual relationship, and it offers some fuel for your sexual fire. These concepts show up in my sex therapy practice, although people aren't generally using the language of masculine or feminine energy. But they are talking about trouble shifting gears from work.They are talking about lacking confidence and power in their sexual interactions. They are talking about struggling with sexual initiation and demonstration of their desire. All of the concerns relate to your balance of female and male energy. Clients also talk about struggles with attraction to their partner. Maybe it's because they aren't polarized in their energy, they are both in sort of the same place, whether that's masculine or feminine. And again, I'm not talking about gender; it doesn't matter if you're two men or two women. It's about what energy you are inhabiting. I have this amazing guest to talk to us today about this. Her name is Jeni Dahn, and she's really a gifted and experienced shamanic practitioner, an energetic healer and a life coach who empowers her clients to reconnect with their inner wisdom and live authentically. Jeni uses a variety of indigenous and modern healing modalities which focus on removing the energetic and mental barriers that prevent individuals from living to their full potential. She serves a wide variety of clients, including those seeking emotional support during life changes and recovery from physical, psychological, or emotional trauma, and also those who desire to live more wholeheartedly and abundantly. She sees the beauty in light in everyone, and she certainly shines her own beauty and light with everybody she deals with. She's compassionate, loving, understanding, and always fully present with clients and after working with her, people often say they feel more alive, joyful, grounded, and inspired to live from the truth of their being. It is just a delight to have Jeni Dahn with me here today. Initially inspired by the work of Dr. Alberto Villoldo, Jeni studied for two years with the Four Winds Society, where she learned many healing arts and the power of energy medicine. After receiving a certificate in energy healing from the Four Winds Society, Jeni completed additional training with the CTI coaching program. As a lifelong learner, Jeni continues to study indigenous healing practices and remains inspired by her teachers in the Seattle area and abroad. Along with private sessions, Jeni offers workshops, retreats, and group healing sessions throughout the Northwest. Links: Website - https://www.jenidahn.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jenidahn/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jeni.dahn Jeni's talk about masculine and feminine energy - https://www.facebook.com/jessica.butts.9400/videos/10212329852111602/ A little cartoon teaching about energy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiaVazF1SIY&feature=youtu.be More info: Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

I'm revisiting a topic that we talked about in a previous episode, which is menopause This time it's not so much from the medical standpoint or a provider's standpoint. It's more about the invisibility that tends to happen in that time of life: the lack of information, the lack of support, the lack of understanding and how isolated and alone women can feel as they're getting into their midlife. Women can almost feel as though they've fallen through the cracks at this point. I wanted to do this episode more on the social and support aspects of menopause and what it's like to try to go through that time feeling empowered and vibrant and alive and confident instead of what so frequently happens, which is almost like a setback. I can't remember if I read this somewhere, somebody called it the second adolescence, but it's a little bit reminiscent of that. Who am I? How do I fit in? Where's my place? Do I feel empowered or not? Do I just want to hide? So much of what somebody can go through at 12, 13, 14 can almost resurface in middle age. I've connected with Jill Angelo, and she is the founder and CEO of Genneve, which is a healthcare management solution for women in Midlife. The mission of Genneve is to empower women to take charge of their health and feel their best, confident, and most sexy selves and that just appealed to me. In addition to the medical episode we did about menopause and what people can expect, this is more, “where can people go to make this an empowered transition and maybe the best years of their life instead of feeling like they'd been set back?” Genneve is about women helping women and professionals helping women, all working together to find menopause solutions. Jill is tech exec turned women's health care advocate, and she's bringing her passion for women's development and health together with her technology experience to build this new organization, Genneve. She's a driving force for bringing effective health solutions, information, and resources to women in the most vibrant years of their life. So, I hope you enjoy my conversation with Jill Angelo. Links: Website - https://genneve.com/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillangelo/ Twitter - @mygenneve Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mygenneve Email - jill@genneve.com More info: Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Well, the last episode of my podcast was about pregnancy and sexuality, and it seemed to make sense to go right into the next obvious topic, which is postpartum sexuality.Talk about a lot of change to adjust to! You've got not only the physical impact of carrying and birthing a baby, but you've got the emotional, the psychological, and the relational impacts as well. Life is not the same once you've had a baby. It's a complex time with a lot of changes and challenges.You're going to be exhausted. You're going to be focused on the baby. You're going to have trouble getting the bandwidth to take care of other things in your life right away. You've got the transition of your role with your partner now that you're a mom or a dad. Everything is different, and it really can throw your sex life for a loop.The physical changes are often expected and anticipated, but the psychological challenges are hard to imagine ahead of time. Not only do you probably need to wait some amount of time before you resume sex, that's just before you are allowed to resume sex. Then there's the issue of when do you want to?How do you get back in a state of mind where you want to engage physically with your partner? How do you nurture that? How do you communicate about it with your partner? Do hormones play a role in all of this? There's a lot of transition to go through.Tammy Senn is a certified nurse midwife and a women's health nurse practitioner and she's practicing in central Maryland. She's got over 20 years of experience guiding women through pregnancy, birth and new motherhood and working with families in those same stages of life.She provides reproductive and gynecologic care for women of all ages, and she's received advanced training in sexual concerns, including evaluation and treatment as well as counseling and education.I think she's the perfect person to talk about everything that happens when you add the baby to the family: the impacts on sex, what you can expect (although there's not just one thing to expect) and what you can do about it.We talk about how a six-week check-in is based more on tradition than evidence and is only a guideline. This leads us to cover how there is no "normal" and that it is important to listen to your body. Everyone is different. You will be ready when you feel ready.We also cover some postpartum depression issues, including how it can often manifest in the partner, and how awareness and early communication are key to addressing any issues before they grow.Tammy will be a presenting an educational session entitled Beyond the Pink Pill: A Step-wise Approach to Female Disorders of Desire and Arousal, at the Annual Meeting of the American College of Nurse-Midwives in May of this year. Listeners can learn more about Nurse-Midwives and the personalized care they provide at http://www.midwife.orgMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Today's topic is pregnancy and sexuality. It's just not talked about very often, and if you have been pregnant or if you have been a partner with somebody that's pregnant, you may have noticed that the doctors often don't ask or talk about sex.It's uncommon for medical providers to inquire about any sort of sexual changes that you're having, the state of your relationship with your partner, or how things are going sexually once sex has been used to make the baby.There's a void of information and void of support for people that are experiencing a pregnancy and wondering what in the world's going on with their sex life.Not that everybody has problems. Some people coast through pregnancy with ease. But physical, emotional, and psychological changes happen, and there are some themes to the challenges that people face.My guest today, Aleece Fosnight, is a sexual medicine, urology and women's health physician assistant in western North Carolina. She is nationally certified by AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists as a sexuality counselor and educator, and her specialty includes treating all manner of sexual dysfunctions and concerns, providing sexual health, education information and personalized counseling to patients of all ages.She works a lot in the urology clinic but also in an Ob-Gyn facility, so I'm delighted that she's here to talk to us today about pregnancy, sexuality, the medical and physical changes that people go through, understanding what they're facing, and some do's and don'ts about sex when you're pregnant. We also discuss how people can enhance their sexuality during pregnancy.We cover some of the more common changes and challenges, but we also touch on some surprising outcomes, such as how couples trying to have a baby can find themselves experiencing more distance. How does this happen? The sex can become goal-oriented, toward making a baby and not toward experiencing pleasure or building closeness.As with many sexual challenges within a relationship, communication can be key to managing tough times.Links:Website - http://www.aleecefosnight.comHilda Hutcherson, Sex and the Baby Years - https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Baby-Years-Good-Guide-ebook/dp/B078V3CHCBCavallucci & Fulbright, Your Orgasmic Pregnancy - https://www.amazon.com/Your-Orgasmic-Pregnancy-Secrets-Positively-ebook/dp/B00LH48KGE/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

I give a lot of thought to what makes a great sex life. What makes us sex life healthy, what makes it enjoyable for people, what makes it fulfilling?When I consider the kinds of things that matter, I think about the ability to slow down and be present in the moment. I think about the ability to tune into your body and to know what you want in that moment. Not just abstractly, like if I asked you at breakfast what you wanted for dinner, but what do you want right now?It's equally important to know what you don't want. Not just knowing what your boundaries are, but also how do you recognize what is making you uncomfortable or that something isn't pleasing right now? And then how do you speak up about that? It's crucial that you're able to communicate with a partner in order to ask for what you want (and to speak up about what you don't) to negotiate and collaborate with them.Another important aspect of better sex is the ability to enjoy the journey. So, instead of being goal oriented or focused on performance or on an outcome, to have better sex, you've got to just enjoy what you're doing in the moment with the partner. You're fully present. You're not in a hurry. There's no test that you pass or fail at the end of it. Those are critical components of good sex.This is not an exhaustive list, but it is a good starting point for what I work with people to accomplish in their intimate lives. There are a lot of professions that help people with this. So, while I do this as a sex therapist, other mental health counselors work with people around some of these issues. Massage practitioners are working with people around touch and just being in their body.I had an earlier episode of Better Sex with a Tantric Healer who's explicitly working with people around what they want, communicating consent, boundaries, and presence.And it turns out I've learned about a new profession, or at least new to me, of people that that help with these issues and skills. I met Anna Joy Reedy, who is my guest today, through a colleague, and I was really struck by how warm and sincere she is. As we talked about what she does, I was fascinated, so I invited her on the show.She is a professional Cuddlist. She has a philosophy degree that she's put to use as an entrepreneur, and she is enthusiastically pioneering this new frontier of touch therapy as a Cuddlist. This is something she's fascinated by and really moved to share with people. She's really interested in all things somatic and she told me she's got lots of, "not yet birthed writings" in the works too. She's got a lot to share and I'm just delighted that she's on the show with me today.We talk about what a professional cuddler does and what you can expect in a session. We also answer the question, "Is it ever sexual?" and cover safety concerns.And, most importantly we talk about the healing power of platonic touch. Proven to help reduce chronic pain and depression, while boosting immunity and enhancing mood, platonic touch and cuddling can positively impact overall wellness. Much like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, professional therapeutic touch is healing and transformative.Links:Website - https://cuddlist.com/annajoy/Website - http://annaorganizes.com/Cuddlist info - https://cuddlist.com/press/YouTube (Janet Trevino) - https://youtu.be/Ic4PawxYX-YMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

I often hear from clients about how much they struggle when they're different from each other. In the beginning, we were attracted to this other way of being. We were interested because this person was so different from us. But what intrigued us in the beginning is what often drives us nuts later in the relationship. So even though opposites attract, they can run into misunderstanding and frustration later. Sometimes I hear, "I want to be spontaneous and my partner always needs everything planned and scheduled." Or, "I want to have sex to feel connected. That's how I feel connected to my partner." While the other person is saying, "I need to feel connected first before I'm going to want to have sex with you." Or, when something is wrong in the relationship,there are people that want to dig in and solve it right away and make sure they're coming to a resolution with their partner and that they're both feeling good. But their partner may be of the type that needs to go away and process internally and doesn't want to come back and address the issue until they have it worked out in their mind. These are just some examples of how different people can be from their partner in ways that can cause problems. So, I thought it might be fascinating to have a guest on who specializes in personality type assessment come in and talk about how personality type might impact your sex life. In this episode, we talk about how personality type is really just about energy, where we give our best energy and where we get our best energy. Jessica says that types are on a continuum or scale, that it's not an "either/or" scenario. You aren't an introvert or an extrovert, but a combination of both, maybe leaning towards one side. So, you're more introverted or tend to be more extroverted. In our discussioni, we try to figure out the different ways people show up on this particular assessment and how that might show up in a relationship and specifically with sex. This just gives you another way to think about the differences between you and your partner. How neither person is wrong or broken, but how you have to work together with a different person and make a sex life in a relationship that's going to work for both of you. My special guest today is Jessica Butts. She is the CEO and founder of FrontSeatLife.org, where she inspires, motivates and educates people to live their life from what she calls their "front seat," using their innate personality type as measured by the Myers-Briggs. She calls herself a retired psychotherapist since she's not in practice anymore, and she's now a life and business coach and Myers-Briggs expert who is on a mission really to inspire other people to accomplish magnificent things by embracing their innate type. And one thing you're going to hear her say is to be unapologetically who you are. She's passionate about personal development, traveling, deep connections with people in her life and helping create a hose for her clients. And I'm so delighted that she's agreed to come on the show and talk to us about Myers-Briggs and sex. Links: Website - https://jessicabutts.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/FrontSeatLife/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/jessicaButtsMA LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-butts-06776b4 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/ButtsCounseling Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/frontseatlife/ More info: Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/ Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/ Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

As I was putting the podcast together, I put out a little survey to my subscribers asking what kinds of topics people wanted me to cover. While it is not the most frequent presenting concern in my practice, the most frequent request I got in terms of what to talk about on the show was menopause.I see people in my practice who are dealing with menopause when it is problematic in some way. People report reduced libido, and they talk about changes in their ability to get aroused or be orgasmic. People are sometimes having changes that result in discomfort or pain with sex, so they want to talk about what's happening and to strategize about what kind of things can be improved. We also talk about what kinds of things they may have to change and how to collaborate with their partner to create a really fulfilling sex life over time.My guest on this episode is going to talk about how people experience the changes of menopause in varying degrees. While most women will experience some of these changes, some people are more bothered by the changes than others. We cover what the symptoms are, subtle for some and intense for others. We explain what's happening in your body, what some of the treatment options are, and what you need to keep in mind as you're working with a medical provider in choosing a treatment.We also talk about how important it can be to step up your self-care and overall health as you approach menopause if you haven't done it already.Dr. Stephanie Ring is a gynecologist and an Integrative Medicine practitioner who specializes in sexual health, hormone replacement, and chronic pelvic pain.Her practice, Greater Denver Integrative Gynecology is located in Wheat Ridge, Colorado and she's also a fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. She's also earning a certificate as a sexuality counselor through the University of Michigan so I'm delighted that she's here to answer my questions, and yours, about menopause.Links:Website - http://greaterdenverintegrativegynecology.com/NAMS (North American Menopause Society) - http://www.menopause.org/International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health - http://www.isswsh.org/AASECT - https://www.aasect.org/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

So why is today's show about sex therapy? Well, because I'm a certified sex therapist and I know that a lot of people listening don't know what that means. There is confusion about what sex therapy is and what a sex therapist does.And there's confusion or lack of knowledge about what it takes to become certified as a sex therapist. As you're going to hear in the interview today, calling yourself a sex therapist is not a controlled term except in the state of Florida. So anybody can say they're a sex therapist. However, there's a huge difference between the people with the training, experience, and knowledge who've gotten certified as a sex therapist and everyone else who calls themselves a sex therapist. With them. you have no idea what kind of training, education, or experience that they've had.So in this episode, I address the questions: What is sex therapy? What does it take to become certified and why does it matter?I think I've got the perfect guest today to talk about this, Sallie Foley is a sex therapist and a sexuality educator.We talk candidly about what sex therapy is, and isn't. Sallie and I also discuss many of the issues and challenges couples may have where a therapist may be able to help and what treatment may look like.We also give you, the listener, some guidance and when you might need a sex therapist and where you can find a highly qualified and certified provider.Sallie's the director of the University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program and the former director of the University of Michigan Center for Sexual Health. She's also served as the Chair of Certification for the AASECT Organization, the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists.She's got a private practice in Ann Arbor Michigan and she has written chapters and articles about the treatment of sexual difficulties and co-authored Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self.Her book, Modern Love: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion was based on her column “Modern Love” in the nationally circulated AARP the Magazine.Links:Website - http://www.salliefoley.com/Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/sexmattersforwomenTwitter - https://twitter.com/SallieFoleyMSWAASECT - https://www.aasect.org/University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program - https://ssw.umich.edu/offices/continuing-education/certificate-courses/sexual-healthMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

It can be extremely hard to get out of your own head. People get distracted by their to-do list, by stresses of life, what they must do for work. They're distracted by concerns that are keeping them up at 4:00 in the morning. A lot of people, even if they aren't distracted, are so used to thinking and analyzing, it's called being up in your head instead of in your body.And the ability to drop into your body and be present and feel what you're feeling and be in the moment it's important. And it's certainly important in sex and in connecting with a partner.There are practices like mindfulness, which is popular, learning to meditate, learning to get into your body, learning to let go of thoughts. Those are powerful. But another thing along those lines is Tantric practice.Most of us think about Tantra as some sort of mysterious sexual training or activity but it's really about getting out of your mind and into your body and into the moment and connecting intimately with yourself and with other people.Tantric practitioner and teacher Matthias Rose has a wealth of knowledge and experience and a passion for sharing this with people. He and his wife Pandora Rose sort of discovered Tantra on their own. They kind of tripped into it having sort of mystical experiences with each other and their own sexual relationship. And from there it opened their eyes to "where is this coming from, how do we learn more about this?"He went on to learn a lot about Tantra and get more formal training in it. He's based in Seattle and he offers events and workshops. He's got a community space and he does private coaching and healing sessions with people and he agreed to be on the show today.During this delightful conversation, we talk about the history of Tantra and clear up some common misconceptions surrounding its association with sex and yoga. Matthias informs us what to look for in a Tantric Healer and Practitioner. We also cover some easy exercises you can use to begin to incorporate the healing power of Tantra in your life today and so much more.Matthias believes Tantra can bring rapid transformation to sexual intimacy, emotional connection, and any major stumbling blocks in life.More information:http://matthias-rose.com/http://moksha-tantra.orgSome useful articles:How to find a Tantric Healer: https://medium.com/@matthiasrose/how-to-find-a-tantric-healer-8b2dd2b29c1aTantric Bill of Rights: https://medium.com/@matthiasrose/a-tantric-bill-of-rights-f0af021b1c1eThe Heart of Tantra: https://medium.com/@matthiasrose/the-heart-of-tantra-2fbfca187e45The Origins of Tantra: https://medium.com/@matthiasrose/the-origins-of-tantra-acc4334638e9More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

What are we talking about? Men who have sex with men, have done it in the past or who are interested in it, but still identify as straight or mostly straight. However, their behavior or their interest makes their partner wonder about their sexuality.Sometimes someone will wonder if their husband is gay because they have no interest in sex with them. Or they don't show a strong libido or a high sex drive.Or, maybe their partner has had sex with men, either recently or in the distant past or maybe they've got an interest in them. And it really makes them wonder, "Is my husband gay?" Seems like a reasonable question.But the truth is that sexuality is on a continuum. There's fluidity in our lives and our behavior is different than our identity. So you can't say just because somebody has done something that it defines who they are. You have a stable sexual orientation throughout your lifetime, but you may have romantic or sexual episodes long your path with someone outside of your sexual identity.Sometimes these can be frightening and confusing. Especially since as children and adolescents, we are only given permission to know that there is heterosexuality. People who discover a different sexual identity usually are much older.Dr. Kort describes his four questions that can help lead you to discover your own, personal sexual identity.He also explains what may be happening with these incidents and experiences, and how this can be an opportunity to have a conversation you might not ever have.Dr. Joe Kort is a licensed sex and relationship therapist. He specializes in sex therapy, LGBTQ issues, and Imago Relationship Therapy.He is the author of four books: 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives: Revised and Updated, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love, LGBTQ Clients in Therapy: Clinical Issues and Treatment Strategies, and Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men.A regular blogger for Psychology Today and The Huffington Post, he’s on the teaching faculty of the University of Michigan’s Sexual Health Certificate Program. Dr. Kort is also in partnership with Modern Sex Therapy Institute offering an LGBTQIA Affirmative Certification for helping professionals working with this population.Dr. Joe Kort: http://www.joekort.comBook - Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: https://www.amazon.com/My-Husband-Gay-Straight-Concerned/dp/1442223251/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe