Connected Families Podcast

You’ve just had a family event and might still be recovering from the overt or passive-aggressive comments from extended family about your kids’ behavior and your parenting choices. Family gatherings can be HARD…especially if we sense that external pressure is shifting our parenting style to avoid criticism.  On this podcast Jim and Lynne Jackson tackle this tough and timely issue. In today’s episode you’ll learn: How to graciously talk to your parents (or other family members) about your parenting goalsHow to stay consistent and confident in your own parentingHow to prep your kids for success at family gatherings Listen in and be encouraged. You’ll be ready for any extended family gatherings (birthday parties, Christmas, Easter, reunions, etc.) as you make a commitment to stay consistent and confident in your own parenting. Want to dig deeper? Check out these helpful family gathering resources:  Read “3 Steps For Success in Holiday Chaos”.Read “What To Do When Relatives Criticize Your Parenting”.Read “Family Gatherings: Who’s In Charge” .If you have a child who struggles with sensory sensitivities, share “Viewing Your Child Through a Different Lens” with your family.Buy our Framework Magnet ($2!) to have handy as you explain your parenting goals.Encourage your parents, grandparents, or interested relatives to download and read, “4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear.” Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox: Related Posts3 Unexpected Parenting Strategies to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child ThriveChristmas: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?How to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids | Ep. 30How to Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice from Family (4 Grace-Filled Tips)Loving the PARENT of Your RealityWhat Changed My Mind About Dad

In this podcast, Jim Jackson interviews Stacy Bellward, online course moderator, in a fun and heartfelt conversation. (Find out what even got Jim a little teary!)  You’ll get the real scoop on the Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course, so you can know whether or not it’s a fit for you and your family. In this 15-minute podcast we explore: the history behind the Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course how Stacy went from being a student (2014), to moderating (2015), to project managing and producing the updated version (2018) what impact the DTC online course has had on families just like yours what is included in the registration fee and what some of the key takeaways are from the course One mom shared a realization as she began to walk in God’s grace for her parenting: “If I’m not defined by my past behavior then my kids aren’t either!” As God’s grace invades our messes, we learn that it’s who we are in Christ that defines us and empowers us to parent differently.  Don’t miss your opportunity to experience this life-changing course with hundreds of others from around the world! To learn more: Read through our Frequently Asked Questions about this online course.   Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course. (Offered two times a year; fall and winter. Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview Related PostsConnecting With Your Kids…Especially When They Struggle | Ep. 24Guiding Kids to Right Their Wrongs | Ep. 26Mentoring Our Kids in Skills, Wisdom and Faith | Ep. 25The Small Magnet That is Making a BIG DifferenceWalking in Peace and Joy with Your Kids | Ep. 23

Today, Stacy Bellward interviews Jim and Lynne Jackson as they dive deep into ways to correct kids’ misbehavior with the message, “You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions”. Misbehavior is like the tip of the iceberg. If we make misbehavior our primary focus we miss guiding our children toward lasting change and growth. During this episode, all four parts of the Connected Families Framework are brought together.  “You are SAFE with me.”  What’s going on with me?  Can I exchange my inner angst for God’s grace and truth so my child feels safe?  “You are LOVED no matter what.” Express unconditional love, which often brings a child to repentance.  “You are CALLED & CAPABLE.” Coach my child toward wiser choices and better use of their gifts; solve the problem together.  You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.” Hold a child accountable to make right what they’ve made wrong.  In this episode we talk through: teaching your kids what it means to make right what they’ve made wrong. the story of a young boy who hits his sibling and reconciles well. how parents might respond when a teen misses the bus.   Want to learn more? Download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs To Hear Read this article about cultivating respect in your child. Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course. It is offered each year in the spring and fall. Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview. Related Posts4 Steps to Change Your Child’s BehaviorBeing Present with Our KidsGuiding Kids to Right Their Wrongs | Ep. 26Raising Entitled Kids? Here’s How to Stop.The Joy of Family Chores: A Tale of Two Moms

Stacy Bellward is joined by Jim and Lynne Jackson to talk about a message that is essential for discipline situations: You are LOVED no matter what!  Why is this necessary? Don’t kids already know they are loved? During the frustration of misbehavior, kids can easily internalize a perception that their parents don’t like them. If we don’t intentionally communicate the message “You are LOVED no matter what” during challenges, kids will only become more discouraged. And if they believe they have to perform well to be loved, that can weave insecurity into the very fabric of their lives. In this podcast we discuss in-depth what it looks like to practically bring “love-no-matter-what” into daily discipline challenges. We explore the questions:   What can we do to prevent performance-based insecurity?  Start with a heart to sincerely connect with your child, not to manipulate them. Then offer the same kind of connection that is natural in your relationship in non-conflict situations – like touch, humor, or verbal affection. Doesn’t this let kids off the hook when they misbehave?  It actually helps keep them on the hook. Communicating love in the midst of misbehavior earns parents the respect needed to guide children to make right what they’ve made wrong. (See Romans 2:4)  What does “love-no-matter-what” look like in real life? In today’s podcast, Nichole, an adoptive mom with six kids, shares her story with strategies for connecting during misbehavior and the impact it’s had in her family. Want to learn more? Download the free Romans 8:38,39 adaption mentioned in the podcast. Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course.Download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs to Hear.Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Related PostsConnecting with Toddlers & Teens During DisciplineThis Is Better Than My Old Consequences for a Disrespectful ChildUnconditional Love: 15 Reasons to Show Love-No-Matter-What to Your KidsYour Child’s Misbehavior: A Cry for Help?

Being an emotionally safe parent is not about being soft or lenient. It’s also not suppressing our anxiety and frustration and trying to look calm when we discipline our kids. If we engage with a heart attitude of “What is wrong with you?!” our kids won’t feel safe with us.  The starting place for making your home a safe haven is to take an honest look at how you might be contributing to the conflict with your child.  When you engage with a heart of grace and a sense of purpose for the discipline situation, it’s much easier to help your child feel emotionally safe.  In this podcast, Stacy Bellward interviews Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families about the foundational principle in the Discipline that Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course: What does it mean to be an emotionally safe parent? You’ll hear an amazing story written by a parent who transformed  her relationship with her troubled child through the principle of emotional safety. This podcast and story hold lots of practical ideas you can apply today! If you don’t have time to listen, read our article Becoming An Emotionally Safe Parent.  Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! To learn more about Connected Families framework for parenting download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs to Hear. Related Posts“I dealt with big behavior by trying to control it and shut it down.”3 Sure-Fire Discipline Tips for When the Heat is On!Fear-Based Compliance vs. Heartfelt Obedience: How to Avoid One & Inspire the OtherHow to Become an Emotionally Safe ParentTo Spank or Not to Spank?

We’re in back-to-school season, bringing all the joy and anxiety that comes with it. One question we hear when we talk with parents is, “What do I do when my child won’t get ready for school on time?” This week Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT and parent coach about how to respond in a kind, but firm, way to this high-stress time of day.  Short answer: The natural impact, without parental intervention, is what will be the greatest teacher.   Listen in as we explore a deeper dive into this frustrating issue:  Step 1 – IDENTIFY: Be clear in your expectations and ensure that your child has the ability to understand and clearly knows what to do to get out the door.  Step 2 – EMPOWER: If kids are struggling, empower them to identify exactly what they may need from you to help them get going in the morning. Step 3 – TRANSFER: Try to avoid lecturing and nagging and implement your plan so you transfer the weight of responsibility to the child. One resource we recommend is our free eBook Consequences That Actually Work where you will learn about natural, logical, and restitution consequences. Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for consistent encouragement in your parenting journey. Related PostsAre You Tired of Having to Nag Your Kids? | Ep. 35Are Your Mornings Brutal?Avoiding Power Struggles Is Simpler Than You Think

Your child is escalating quickly and you have a pretty good idea where this is headed. You know the scenario…the anger turns to screaming, which then becomes a full-blown tantrum.  Pretty soon your child hits YOU. In today’s episode Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Lynne Jackson, OTR as she helps to answer the question: “What should I do when my child is so out of control they hit me?!” She draws on her occupational therapy knowledge to help us understand how brain function impacts this tough dilemma. The quick answer: Work to figure out and verbalize what your child’s hands are trying to say. If their mouth could say it, their hands wouldn’t need to. If it continues, try to find the most loving way possible to keep everyone physically safe. In this podcast we’ll explore this common scenario based on the Connected Families Framework:  FOUNDATION: You are safe with me. What’s going on in you? Are you responding back with anger because you are embarrassed or ashamed? (“What is wrong with this kid?!”)  Instead, step away with calming thoughts like: “This is normal.” or “These emotions are too big for my child.”CONNECT: You are loved no matter what. Heartfelt, sincere empathy is very powerful. State what your child is feeling and wanting.COACH: You are capable… of using your words to solve problems. Help your child with the messy process of gradually learning respectful self-advocacy as you teach emotional awareness outside of conflict times.CORRECT: You are responsible for your actions. Help your child choose a way to use their hands to restore the connection in the relationship.  As mentioned in this podcast, the Connected Families framework is also available on a magnet that is available for purchase.  Keep it visible anywhere you typically look, for constant reminders and encouragement in your parenting! To learn more about the topic of your child being too physical when they are angry, order our Discipline That Connects book and take a look at the appendix on aggression. Also, consider registering for our 8-session online course of Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart that we offer twice a year.  Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts. Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/“ Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related Posts20 Beautiful Empathy Statements to Show Kids You Really See ThemAre You or Your Child Addicted to Anger?How to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids | Ep. 30My Child Says, “I Hate You!” | Ep. 6Why Is My Child So Angry? The #1 Unexpected Reason & Practical Steps to TakeWhy Punching a Pillow When Angry Doesn’t Really Help Your Child

“I don’t WANT to practice my trumpet.” “My piano teacher is mean!” “I don’t have time to practice with all this homework. I want to quit!”  Sound familiar? In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT and parent coach to explore how our parenting framework gives insight into the question: ”What should I do when my tween wants to quit music lessons?” Quick answer: In most cases, help your child understand that it’s important to stick to their commitments (for the duration of that commitment), and provide the support your child needs.  Listen to our full podcast to explore:  SAFE: Is the word “quit” a trigger for you, the parent, for some reason? LOVED/CONNECT: Can you understand and empathize with what it’s like to be your child? Maybe there’s a very logical reason why music lessons are not working. CAPABLE: How might you encourage capability in a way your child would receive: “I know this is hard, but you can do this hard thing!”? RESPONSIBLE: How do I help my child develop a sense of ownership for this?  In conclusion: Be in prayer and ask God for wisdom about this difficult decision.  Encourage your kids even as you keep them responsible for their commitments. But if music lessons (or any other commitment!) isn’t benefiting your child don’t let it cost you the relationship. Find other ways for your child to learn responsibility.  To learn more about our parenting framework, download our FREE ebook Four Messages Every Child Longs To Hear.  Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/ Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related PostsHelping Kids Thrive Despite Rejection from a Teacher or StudentsParents and Sports: How to Let the Kids Have Fun AgainWhat to Do When Your Child Has a Hard Time LosingWhose Life Is It Anyway?You Don’t Want to Micromanage Your Family: How to Stop Parenting With Anxiety

Your child has just told you something you are pretty sure is not truthful.  What should you do? Do you call them out on it? Should there a serious consequence?  In today’s podcast episode Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT, and parent coach. Together they tackle the challenging question: “What should I do when my child lies to me?”  The quick answer is:  Think of your big reactions like fertilizer. If you put big emotional intensity into calling out lying, you’re likely to get more of it. Take notice when your child tells the truth and give that a lot of positive attention.  In this episode we address: How to give big intensity to truth-telling instead of lying.How to ask questions that set kids up to tell the truth, rather than questions that trap. Even when  your child lies, how to stay emotionally safe as a parent so you don’t allow your child to control your emotions.  Consider this:  If you stop giving big energy to lying and start giving big energy to truth-telling, over time, where might you be?  In this podcast we mention our Discipline That Connects online course. This course works to equip and encourage parents in many areas of parenting (including lying) using our parenting framework as the filter. This 8-session online course will be offered twice a year and is also available anytime as a small group.  We’d love to see you there! Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/ Related Posts3 Ways To Help When Your Child Refuses To Do Schoolwork5 Powerful Ways to Connect with a Teen Who LiesSo You Killed The Cat….Now What?Teaching Truthfulness: 4 Loving Actions To Help the Child Who LiesYour Child’s Misbehavior: A Cry for Help?

Words are powerful.  We can so easily take it personally when we hear hurtful words from our children like,  “I HATE YOU!” But instead of reacting in frustration and anger, we encourage you to look below the surface. There may be deep reasons why the child might feel anxious, discouraged or ashamed in a way that is coming out in those aggressive words.  Jim Jackson and Stacy Bellward welcome Lynne Jackson, OTR and parent coach to the show. Lynne is an occupational therapist and brings practical brain-based knowledge and years of experience to this topic.  Today’s episode covers: underlying causes including sensory, emotional, developmental factors that play a role in the words that children say.how you can respectfully and constructively help your children navigate big emotions that drive the hurtful words.the “language of emotions.” (Here’s the link for the feelings poster mentioned.) When your child says, “I hate you!” they’re doing the best they can to tell you something else. Take a breath, then say, “I can see that you’re very, very angry!”  If this topic hits home for you, download our free Helping Kids with Anger e-book (https://connectedfamilies.org/anger-ebook/) to take steps towards peaceful parenting and connection, today. Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related Posts“Go Away, I Want MOMMY!”Are You or Your Child Addicted to Anger?My Child Hits Me | Ep. 9This Is Better Than My Old Consequences for a Disrespectful ChildTo Spank or Not to Spank?Why Is My Child So Angry? The #1 Unexpected Reason & Practical Steps to Take“Mommy, I’m Gonna KILL You!”