Connected Families Podcast

Does it feel like your child just doesn’t care? Maybe even saying the words, “I just don’t care!” Does your child seem unmotivated in school, defensive about doing chores, maybe even withdrawn and depressed? It is so hard to know what to do when your child is discouraged. You may feel frustrated and hopeless. And a kid who doesn’t seem to care can really push all your buttons, which can cause even more anxiety in both you and your child. You want to know what is going on with your discouraged child! And you especially want to know how you can help (or, let’s be honest, “fix”) them. If this resonates, we have some fresh perspective and direction for you here today. On today’s podcast, Jim and Lynne Jackson (Co-founders of Connected Families) join Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to help you see this behavior through a different lens. A lens that offers hope, and practical ways to support your struggling child.  Did you know that when your child feels pressure or discouragement, it can surface as misbehavior? But with the power of connection, and a gentle,non-judgmental spirit, this can be an opportunity to help your child grow in resilience and wisdom. Using the Connected Families Framework, you can help your discouraged child feel loved and understood. You can come alongside them with encouragement and gentle questions to help them feel called and capable, and build an identity of wisdom and responsibility. In this podcast, you’ll learn: what might be going on under the surface of a kid who doesn’t seem to carea practical and gentle approach to asking your child the kinds of questions that help them connect to what’s going on insidethe importance of replacing panic about your child’s future with empathy and solution-focused conversationshow to build your child’s God-given identity, and a value for responsibility, by instilling the confidence that God and you are with them, and for them.  Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkRomans 15:13Applying the ABC’s of AffirmationDiscipline The Connects Online Course Are you struggling to help your discouraged child? What tips from today’s podcast helped you? We’d love to hear your comments! As always, we are here if you need further help. Please contact us, and in the meantime, check out our helpful resources on our new website. We are in this together! Download our FREE in-depth ebook Helping Kids With Anger. It will provide thoughtful insights and creative ideas to help your struggling child.

What do you do when you know you want something to be different in your family this year? Do you ever wonder if there is a more gracious and meaningful way to approach the new year, for you and your kids? How can you be more intentional in your parenting in the new year? If you are overwhelmed with all that hasn’t worked, and are looking for something different for your family, this is the podcast to help you gently usher in 2022 with hope for real and meaningful growth. In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) share a super practical tool, and a new perspective on creating goals and intentions for the new year. Not just worn-out resolutions, but a broader vision that could transform both you and your family one step and one day at a time. You can help your kids steward their time and their capabilities to create a growth mindset* with gracious questions such as:    What is your goal?Why is it important to you?What will it take to achieve your goal?To achieve your goal, what steps can you control?  You can create a safe and connected atmosphere to have a vision-casting conversation with your kids, and invite God to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine! *Growth mindset is a term originally coined by Child Psychologist Carol Dweck and popularized by numerous authors. Our use of the term is most closely informed by her work. In this podcast, you’ll also discover: how to use a “life/growth wheel” (mentioned by Stacy) in practical ways, with kids of all ages, to coach and support your kids in building wisdom and responsibilitythe importance of assessing your (and your child’s) connection to God, to each other, and to your purpose in this world as you explore: What do I want life to look like a year from now?the power of celebration in connecting with your child and building momentum for their successhelpful steps to avoid the pitfalls that can bring shame and tension in conversations with your kids about their goals Mentioned in this podcast: Ephesians 3:14-21Susie Larson (Author, Speaker)The Entitlement Fix (online course)The Power of Questions (online course)Discipline That Connects (online course)Is There “Miracle Grow” for Good Behavior? (the ABC’s of Affirmation) Do you and your family have goals for the new year? What did you find helpful in this podcast? We’d love to hear from you and connect with you as we all start a new year together! Leave a comment and let us know. Or contact us, we are here to help! What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT.

As 2021 soon comes to a close, we hope you will find good things–even something seemingly small!–to be grateful for this past year. And we pray you find encouragement and grace for the new year ahead. This year-end wrap-up will give you an exciting vision of what God might have for Connected Families in the future! In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) and Anna Braasch (Connected Families Executive Director) to talk about the many ways God has blessed the Connected Families community this past year. Listen in to hear all the ways God is growing and multiplying the powerful message of Connected Families, and an exciting look at the goals and vision for the future as well. Standing firm on the foundation of God’s love, and building on the Connected Families Framework, we look forward with anticipation to all the ways our community will continue to bring hope to parents and families around the world. None of this would be possible without you and your dedication to continue sharing the grace-filled message of Connected Families in your community and beyond. Did you know? As we reflect on this past year, here are some fascinating things you might not know about us: Connected Families launched a new website this year, making it even easier to find all the fantastic resources you need to lead your family with confidence and grace!Connected Families was founded nearly 20 years ago, when Jim and Lynne Jackson realized that parents were in need of a more connected parenting approach.We are currently building relationships within the Chinese community, and working to make our resources available in this community.Connected Families began implementing a successful business tool called EOS in 2015. This keeps our ministry running with efficiency and accountability. (We believe this tool is an important part of serving you!)The Connected Families Framework uniquely combines brain science, child development, and scripture.We have a coaching certification program, and parent coaches from multiple countries around the globe. Connected Families is here to bring you God’s grace and truth, so you can pass on God’s grace and truth to your children. Who do you know who needs to hear more about this? Please consider telling your story of how Connected Families has impacted you, and let them know about our helpful resources! In each step of your journey, we are here for you. Contact us and let us know how we can help! Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families websiteConnected Families FrameworkBecome a Parent CoachChad Hayenga, head of Connected Families coaching certification programHow to Grow a Connected FamilyDiscipline That Connects online courseDONATE to Connected FamiliesEOS: Entrepreneurial Operating SystemJoel Swanson: EOS ImplementerBlessings for the Morning by Susie Larson (Isaiah 43:19) Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox: Related PostsConnected Families Is Building Community in SCHOOLSConnected Families is Building Community in EXTENDED FAMILIESConnected Families is Building Community in SMALL GROUPSGiving Gifts at Christmas: Help Kids Discover the Joy of GivingThankful for the Connected Families Community

“My child never sleeps!” Bedtime struggles can feel like a losing battle. Does bedtime leave you feeling completely drained? Your child wants another glass of water or another bedtime story. They’re afraid of the dark. Or overflowing with wound-up energy from the day.  You are exhausted. Frustrated. And if your child is struggling to sleep, you are struggling to sleep!  Sleep is so important! Kids not going to sleep (or staying asleep) is a frequent concern we hear from parents during coaching sessions. If you feel like you have tried everything and wonder why nothing is working, you’re in the same boat as so many other sleep-deprived families!  As parents we sometimes want to push through this time to bring some peace to the end of our day. But what if bedtime could be a way to tap into your child’s heart in a way that makes them feel safe, understood, and loved? What if you change your mindset to see that when your child is struggling to sleep this could be an opportunity for deep connection? It really can be! You can transform difficult bedtime routines into an opportunity for a deep and lasting connection with your child. How? In this podcast, we’ll introduce you to a unique and holistic approach that gets to the heart of your child. We’ll give practical, science-based tips that you can use today.  Listen in as Stacy Bellward (podcast host) talks with Lynne Jackson, co-founder of Connected Families, Occupational Therapist, and author of Transform Bedtime Struggles into Nighttime Snuggles. Together they discuss ways to help prepare both you and your child for a peaceful night of rest. This conversation is loaded with brain science and helpful tools and you won’t want to miss it!  This podcast dives deep into: obstacles that can hinder your kids from a good night’s sleep (some of them might surprise you!)the science of sleep and specific ways lack of sleep can affect your kidspractical and holistic sleep solutions that really workways to calm your child’s body, mind, heart, and spirit to help them sleephow a connected approach to bedtime can bring peace to your evenings Mentioned in this podcast: Transforming Bedtime Struggles into Nighttime Snuggles by Lynne Jackson, OTRWhy We Sleep by Matthew Walker, PhDThe Opposite of Worry by Lawrence Cohen, PhDDr. Roberto Olivardia Talks About Kids With ADHD and Sleep Challenges (podcast)Psalm 4:8Isaiah 41:13 The sweet bedtime cuddles you dream of deteriorate far too often into mayhem. You’ve got this! Bring peace to your child’s body, mind, heart, and spirit. So they (and you!) can sleep well. Download and read our FREE in-depth ebook Transform Bedtime Struggles into Nighttime Snuggles. Related PostsDear Exhausted Mom, Here’s Why You Might Say “Yes” When Your Child Begs You to PlayHow I Helped My Baby Sleep When Sleep Training Was Not WorkingHow to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids | Ep. 30One Way to Turn Bedtime Routines AroundTransform Bedtime Struggles Into Nighttime Snuggles

As parents we long to build a connected family. Connection. We all long for genuine, connected relationships. It’s how God wired us. It makes sense that, when this element is lacking in our relationships, it can cause us to feel so many difficult and discouraged emotions. Especially in the relationships we value most. You want to feel connected to your kids and to the people you care about, but that can be really hard.  Is there a secret to authentic connection? A tool to help build a connected family? Your family can experience this! Co-Founders Jim and Lynne Jackson wrestled and prayed about these very questions, and in the process laid an important foundation for the heart of Connected Families. They discovered that connection is intentional and it exists in three key areas: connection to Godconnection to each otherconnection to our purpose in this world In today’s podcast, Jim and Lynne join Stacy Belward (podcast host) to uncover what these three areas of connection mean, and how we can live them out with love and intention to build a connected family.  Connection doesn’t come from a magic wand; it happens in intentional and thoughtful relationships as we give and receive in meaningful ways. We connect by knowing, loving, and enjoying God and each other. God created you for connection. His love and grace can pour in and through you to purposefully build a connected family. In this podcast, you’ll discover: intentional, meaningful, and practical ways to connect to God, each other, and your (and your kids!) purpose in this worldthe power of thoughtful and curious questions to connect to your child and help them grow in wisdomhow to help your kids connect with each other as siblingseffective ways to call out your child’s gifting, and help them find ways of using those gifts to be a blessing to others Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkThe Big 5 Bible StudyThe Power of Questions online courseSibling Conflict online courseDonate to Connected FamiliesThe Love Language QuizMatthew 25:34-40 Looking for ways to connect more with your kids? Check out these fantastic resources to help you feel encouraged and equipped in your parenting! Feeling stuck? As always, please contact us to let us know how we can help you and walk alongside you in your parenting journey. We are here to help! Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview. Related PostsChristian Discipline: The Story Behind Connected Families Unique Framework for Parenting | Ep. 68Families on Purpose | Ep. 21How to Leave a Legacy | Ep. 65

Does your child get discouraged? Does it feel like your child’s misbehavior seems to drown out the positive things you might notice? And the more you notice misbehavior, the more it seems to happen. We tend to gravitate toward the things we feel need “fixing” in our kids, because our brains prioritize attending to anything wrong or threatening. This is normal!  As a parent you care deeply about your child and want them to grow in wisdom and responsibility, which doesn’t always come naturally! But you can learn to shine a bright spot in a really effective way, on the small things that go well, and begin to unravel this cycle of discouragement in your child. And it will bring encouragement to you as a parent, too! In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Lynne Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) to share a powerful and practical tool to encourage both you and your child!  Lynne struggled with being hard on herself for being negative and critical. The negative self-talk was spilling over as a critical spirit in her parenting, and it was a challenging but rich journey to become more positive and affirming toward her kids. To speak encouraging truth into her kids Lynne developed a simple, useful, and memorable tool called the ABCs of Affirmation. It’s not a performance based, pat-on-the-back method. But it IS a Spirit-filled, life-giving tool that builds wisdom and affirms your child’s identity as a precious and beloved child of God. The ABC’s of Affirmation provide a way for you to receive God’s grace, and then to pour out that grace to your children. When your kids see you receive encouragement from God and others, you can model and pass on the power of genuine, loving affirmation to them.  In this podcast, you’ll discover: the ABC’s of Affirmation: What they are, and how to incorporate this tool in everyday life in practical wayshow brain science matches and supports this biblical toolthe negative impacts of too much “shallow” praise for your childways to grow momentum (and even boost dopamine!) by encouraging yourself as a parenthow to ask  your child thoughtful questions that lead them to self-encourage too! Mentioned in this podcast: I Was a Critical Parent: 7 Steps I Took to Find a More Loving WayIs There “Miracle Grow” for Good Behavior? (The ABC’s of Affirmation) Grace and Truth For Moms (online course) Connected Families FrameworkHow Your Thoughts Change Your Brain, Cells and GenesCorrie Thetford, Lydia Rex (Certified Connected FamiliesParent Coaches)Dr. Alan KazdinConnected Families Insiders TeamBible verses in this podcast: Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 10:5, 1 Thessalonians 4:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:11  How have you used the ABC’s of Affirmation with your kids? We’d love to hear your stories! And don’t forget to check out our new website to encourage yourself and your family with these great resources! Need more encouragement or help? Please contact us, we are here for you! What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT. Related PostsAre You Unintentionally Encouraging Bad Behavior? Here’s How to Switch ThatBuild Kids Up with Nourishing Affirmation in 30 SecondsBuilding the Family Team: A Solution to Chore WarsTeach Your Child to Have a Growth Mindset with These Four Steps | Ep. 70

Ever feel like you’ve read all the parenting books and yet still feel overwhelmed? Or perhaps you struggle because so much parenting advice out there just doesn’t seem to fit your family situation. And you’ve discovered that traditional parenting just isn’t cutting it!  This can be especially true for parents who have children through adoption or foster care. In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, we bring you another fantastic conversation with a family formed through adoption. Today’s podcast brings first-hand stories that demonstrate the practical and meaningful way the Connected Families Framework applies to unique family situations across the board. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) and special parent guests, Joe and Becky. Joe and Becky are the parents of three children through adoption.  When they hit a bumpy patch in their parenting journey, they reached out to Chad for parent coaching. As they learned about and applied the parenting Framework, they found a long-term vision for building solid relationships with their children. Not only did they see a change in their kids, but Joe and Becky experienced a change in themselves as well. You can experience this too!  The Connected Families Framework provides an approach to parenting that is:  gospel-centered attachment-focused trauma-informed Connected Families offers a path to a parent-child connection that reveals and expresses the same safety, love, and connection to our children that God gives to us. With the power of God’s love, we can confront old patterns and ways of thinking about parenting, and embrace a new mindset that builds connected relationships. In this podcast, you’ll learn about: overcoming your internal struggles to be a more calm and peaceful parent how the Framework helps you navigate different parenting styles, and offers both a practical and empathetic approach to parenting the power of affirmation in your child’s life (and your spouse’s!)  filling the “reservoir of connection” to sustain your family through the tough times of correction  Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework TBRI Be a part of the Insiders Team The Peace Process (Sibling Conflict Course) Want to learn more? What I Misunderstood About Adoption–And, Well, All Parenting What Is “Attachment Style”? Podcast: Parenting Kids from Hard Places with Unique Needs Interested in hearing more about Connected Families? Check out our website and these fantastic resources to help you lead your family with confidence and grace. Questions? Need help? Please contact us, we would love to hear from you! Related PostsAn Honest Conversation About Adoption | Ep. 81How to Be Safe for Your Kids | Ep. 76My Misconceptions About Adoption—And, Well, All ParentingParenting Kids from Hard Places with Unique Needs | Ep. 45 Dare to dream of peace again. It’s not hopeless. You can ENJOY YOUR KIDS AGAIN. CONNECT WITH A PARENT COACH

Many of the families in the Connected Families community were formed through adoption. This month, during National Adoption Awareness Month, we look more closely at how the Connected Families Framework can be applied to children who joined their family through adoption (or foster care). Whether or not you’ve adopted, you will not want to miss this podcast!  Note: In this podcast we are sharing the perspective of three internationally adopted transracial families. We recognize there are many different ways adoptive families are formed. Kids who have entered our families through adoption have experienced trauma. This is an honest conversation about adoption, but the truth is that all kids have experienced some level of trauma. The good news is, a trauma-informed approach to parenting is a key element of the Connected Families Framework.  Maybe you have searched and sifted through an overload of parenting advice that has made you even more discouraged. You may have even thought, “Sounds like good advice….for a more ‘normal’ family.” But your family is unique and special, which is exactly how God intended it to be. Be encouraged! You can reach your child in powerful and practical ways. In today’s podcast, three moms on the Connected Families team join together to have an honest and heart-to-heart conversation about some of the ways adoption and trauma have impacted their parenting. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Anna Braasch (Executive Director) and Jen Berge (Content Manager) to discuss how the Connected Families Framework provides a profound and gracious approach to trauma-informed parenting.  The Connected Families Framework gives a unique perspective for parenting kids from trauma. It offers the tools to navigate different parenting situations across the board. Our Framework provides an approach to connected parenting that communicates to your child–God can redeem all things! In this podcast, you’ll discover: how certain words surrounding adoption can bring hurt or discomfort, and how you can bring words of healing and compassion instead the science of how trauma affects the body, and how it manifests in a child’s emotions, attachment, and daily living  the vital importance of safety and connection for kids in a chronically heightened state of fight-or-flight, and how your parenting can set the stage for connection in the midst of it the four levels of the Connected Families Framework, and how they play out both emotionally and practically in trauma-informed parenting Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework The History of “Putting a Child Up” for Adoption Orphan Train (book) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (book) Connected Families Insiders Team A New Serenity Prayer Bios: Stacy Bellward is the Connected Families Project Manager. She has been married for over 20 years and is a mom of two daughters: One biological and one through adoption from Ethiopia. Stacy loves to be the cheerleader in the Connected Families online courses. She is also an author, speaker, and certified leadership coach. But most of all, Stacy is soaking up all the moments of motherhood, knowing time passes so quickly. Jen Berge is the Content Manager for Connected Families. Jen has been married for over twenty years and has six children ranging in ages from 12-21: four biological, and two added through adoption from Haiti. Jen loves her big family and in her not-so-abundant “free time” she enjoys exercising, attending sporting events, and spending time as a family. Anna Braasch is the Connected Families Executive Director. Anna loves to encourage parents who are struggling. She has experienced infertility, adoption, attachment struggles, and loads of grace and healing. Anna has been married for 25 years and has two kids through adoption from Ethiopia, who are now teenagers. Anna and her family are involved with sports, school events, their church, and the Ethiopian adoption community. Learn more about the Framework Want to dig deeper into Connected Families’ Parenting Framework? Get our FREE ebook, What Kids Need: 4 Messages That Build Identity. Related PostsHow Do I Support My Friend Who Is Adopting?My Misconceptions About Adoption—And, Well, All ParentingWhy Safety Is Crucial for Adoptive Families

Why is changing your parenting just so hard? You’ve tried everything to get a better result in your parenting: You’ve read the books, watched the seminars, tried new methods. You know that you want a different approach to your parenting, but you just don’t know what to do or how to do it. And it’s hard!  It’s messy to rewire old patterns that have been established over many years. This is true for everyone–you are not alone! We can be tempted to give up when a new strategy doesn’t bring the instant change we think we should be getting. But there is a way forward to lasting change–to a more peaceful and connected relationship with your kids! This podcast will give you the inspiration and the practical tools to navigate the “messy” as you work through new patterns of parenting and become a vessel for God’s grace and truth to your kids. Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to discuss how you can move toward healthier ways of responding to your kids that will bring connection, teach wisdom, and invite lasting change. In the unfailing love and strength of Jesus, you can create new patterns in your family systems that change the trajectory of your family for generations to come! It’s not easy, but there is so much good on the other side! In this podcast you’ll learn: why you hold tight to familiar, unwritten family rules, and how they affect your family dynamicsthe key to changing parenting reactions that get the results you want in the moment, but cost you relationally in the long termhow to recognize big emotions and use the Connected Families Framework to ask yourself, “What’s going on in me?” why kids can become more intense as they learn a new way of connection (even if it’s a good change!) and practical tools to help you navigate the process Mentioned in this podcast:  Connected Families websiteThe Key to Unlocking Wisdom and Responsibility in Kids (connection before correction)! Power of Questions online courseBible verses: 2 Corinthians 10:5, Romans 12:2 Give Connection this Year Small connections create lasting love and trust. Your gift supports Christ-centered connection and transformation in families for generations to come. DONATE NOW Related Posts11 Ideas to Help You Stop Yelling at Your KidsCorrect With Good ConsequencesFirst-Time Obedience: Should I Require Immediate Obedience from My Child?How Do You “Be a Better Dad”?How to Be Safe for Your Kids | Ep. 76I Lost My Temper With My Child; Can I Make It Better?

Mom guilt is real and it feels so heavy. Moms, do you ever find your thoughts spiraling through these statements? “I’m such a mess!” “I can’t get it together and my kids don’t like me!” “I’m a bad mom” Stress, feeling overwhelmed, and lack of sleep can intensify all these feelings. It’s important to know you are not alone in the struggle with guilt and shame. And you don’t have to stay stuck in it. There is always hope! In today’s podcast, Katie Wetsell (pediatric nurse and Connected Families Certified Parent Coach ) joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to share her own personal story of how she worked through difficult feelings of mom guilt. Katie shares with us the steps she took to embrace the truth of Jesus’ deep love and grace, and some surprising truths about looking at guilt through the filter of faith.  When viewed through the filter of God’s redemptive love and purpose, guilt can actually provide an opportunity for transformation within the safety of God’s gentleness and grace. And when we receive that gentleness and grace from God, we can in turn pour it out and model it to our children. You don’t have to live in the discouragement of Mom guilt! In this podcast, you’ll discover: the difference between guilt and shame and why it matterswhy moms often feel intense guilt about their parenting (and how you can navigate this in a healthy way!)the importance of the first level, Foundation, in the Connected Families Framework ”What’s going on in me?”–to break the cycle of shamehow you can be set free from the lies that keep you stuck in mom guilt through the redemptive and powerful love of Jesus Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families websiteConnected Families FrameworkConnected Families resourcesBible verses:  2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 6:10-20, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Psalm 139, Hebrews 4:16, 1 John 2:1  About Katie Wetsell: Katie has always had a calling on her heart to care for children. She is a pediatric oncology nurse and pediatric nurse practitioner. After experiencing the benefits of parent coaching through Connected Families herself, Katie later resigned from nursing and became a certified parent coach as well. She and her husband have 4 children (3 boys and a girl) through birth and adoption. Katie is also trained in SPACE treatment to help parents learn how to support their children struggling with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders. For more information or to contact Katie, visit her website Parent With Hope. What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT.